Find your next mission. Set up FIRE and then focus on humanitarian causes that appeal to you. Nothing better than helping others (humans, animals and nature).
Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
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Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#12Sorry for your loss. You might find helpful to talk walks in nature. Grief support groups are very useful. Many people also find volunteering helpful, as it involves helping people and being around people (and sometimes animals). Schedule some sort of plan for yourself with times for being social, helping people, art and being outside. Please avoid isolating yourself. Good luck.
Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#13My thoughts are... know that your feelings [ALL OF THEM] are there to serve or service you. Ask your self-how does [insert feeling here] this feeling serve me? When you establish and or reestablish your truth and your feelings are in thier right place, your will see how dope you are and your endless capabilities to endure and overcome... your already doing the work. The money is a gift to choose where and how you want to manage your time; time now works for you treat it just as your feelings; how will this money service me and my dreams imagination etc? In short know you are More than enough and have something left to know and to do. This is why your asking such beautiful open question. now you must continue to show the world,so others can recall and remember thier self too, who and what you are. Thank you for helping me.
Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#14The technical term for where you've arrived at is "mid life crisis" - albeit a bit earlier than most.
Your search for success is over. So the next step becomes the search for significance.
First though, as others have said, your "what to do next" is colored by the natural grieving process you need to go through. Accept that your emotions will likely be all over the place for a while. This isn't a time for big decisions, but rather smaller, quieter, times for you to find a new simple routine.
Once your life has returned to (emotional) normal, then you can start the next chapter. Being significant means making a difference, on the people around you, on your environment, and so on.
Like with most things, there's no "quick path". You need to try this, try that, and see what sticks. Local charities are always a good place to start (they can use the help) but they may just be a stepping stone till you find your place. Interacting with youth in some way (school, church, clubs etc) can also be very inspirational (for you and for them.) Kids like to hear stories of success (they're still on that path) and hearing it from someone young - closer to their own age - really sticks.
Most of all, don't panic if you wake up tomorrow with nothing to do. You've got a long road ahead. You don't need to rush. Take some time to just settle down. Maybe go on a trip to somewhere peaceful.
Good luck.
Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#15I don't have any experience in this, so this is all just simulation for me. I would probably take a nice vacation, pick up a hobby or two, and then either find a fulfilling part time job or volunteer work. I feel like unless you have 8 figures, that money will go faster than expected, so maybe it's a good idea to work a full time job with benefits for another decade or so, even if it's lower paying but more fulfilling, so that you can preserve more capital.
Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#16May your parents forever live in your heart.
>I'm grateful, but I also feel very alone and a little lost. I’m not sure what to do next — with my time, my energy, or even with my life.
You may be tempted to fill your time and spend your energy and money on things that take your mind off of "life". Drugs, alcohol, gambling, carnal pleasures, clubbing, etc. It will spiral and you'll lose your life, health, and wealth. You are a prime target for leeches and parasites who smell a lonely soul with a full wallet a mile away.
Were you to need an addiction to "cope" and "avoid reality", make it an addiction that could:
1 - fade a way
2 - not ruin your health, wealth, and time.
3 - become a net positive
For instance: picking up a sport (judo, jiu-jitsu, wrestling), hiking, pursuing a degree, going to workshops that make you work with your hands (masonry, ceramics, carpentry, agriculture, stonewalls, manufacturing/fabrication). These may be coping mechanisms and just a "transition", but they are virtuous coping mechanisms and I don't see you regretting your masonry classes; on the contrary, you will have acquired a skill for life even if/after your interest "fades away", and may even become your business.
In other words, please be very careful and deliberate about how you spend your health, time, and money.
You'll also be tempted to brood and stay home or on the contrary, be out all night and chasing pleasures, hence my recommendations on physical activities (judo and masonry) for you really ought to stay connected with your body and physical being especially now. If you work out, don't stop. If you don't, start.
Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#17If it was me, I for sure would fill my time with travel for a little while. Personally I’d get or build a comfortable van and visit lots of parts of the US and Canada where I’ve never been. Reflect on nature’s beauty and be alone with my thoughts, and peaceful.
Obviously there is another kind of travel that’s more focused on luxury/hedonism/etc. that’s not my thing, and in my humble opinion risks getting caught up in alcohol/drugs/empty sex/etc. would not recommend especially because the temptation of doing all of the above to excess would be there if you’re popping bottles in Miami Beach or whatever.
One thing you might want to do would be to see who would like to have you as an advisor for their startup. You successfully did a hard thing that thousands are desperate to do. Many could benefit from your learned lessons. You could offer to give talks at your alma mater, help vet people’s startup ideas, etc. I know you may not feel like you’re some genius or oracle but you’d make a much better judge of that kind of thing than I would!
Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#18learn about the stages of grief,
try not to make large financial decisions for a few months
Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#19The technical term for where you've arrived at is "mid life crisis" - albeit a bit earlier than most. Your search for success is over. So the next step becomes the search for significance. First though, as others have said, your "what to do next" is colored by the natural grieving process you need to go through. Accept that your emotions will likely be all over the place for a while. This isn't a time for big decisio…
Charities- yes, and: consider the concept of mutual aid as well. In-the-mix helping others, and being helped reciprocally (but not transactionally) is potentially more meaningful than helping through charitable giving, though given our dominant paradigm of capitalism, charity is certainly helpful too.
Re: Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?
#20Like others have said, it is healthy to grieve. In some cultures there is a specific amount of time where everyone understands the bereaved won't be doing much other than honoring the dead by paring away all distractions and just existing. That sounds difficult as a US-ian raised on distractions, but I gave it a try several years ago when my dog died. Ended up sharing a good cry with an older lonely neighbor who was also closely bonded with their aging dog, and later I was there for them after their dog passed on- thanks to embracing grief and vulnerability we were less alone in our suffering, but not wallowing either; it felt healthy.
It took me many months before the waves of sadness and loss subsided, and a year or two to where the dominant memories are joy, love, adventure.
All that to say- especially given your fortune, I wouldn't be concerned with what's next at the expense of what's now.