51–60 of 73 posts
"Does your server really care how the first few bites are?" On first pass, I read this and thought he spelled 'bytes' wrong. ^_^
Ha ha, wow! I thought I was the only one who read it that way.
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Seems pretty cynical to me too, but I've lived in either North Dakota or Minnesota for a couple of decades. It takes so little effort to be nice and have a conversation with people. Who knows, you might make the teller laugh and get through their day easier. [from the article] Does anyone who has ever said “have a good one” actually mean it? Yep, I do mean it. I'm that sap. I wish you well and still sign all my e-mai…
I am rather dismayed by the lack of interaction between people in my country (Greece). We don't talk to strangers at all, not even to say hi or hold a door open or anything. It's a cultural thing, people just don't think to talk to other people. That's all I wanted to say, have a good day!
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I live in Georgia. Everyone here is really friendly and means it.
I'd find that extremely tiring.
I like the fact that when a lady looked lost in the local hardware store, I asked if I might help her, and I felt that I had the time to explain that she needed a certain tool due to the materials she was working with and help her find it.
I have plenty of time to run my service business, write code for fun, and yet also make sure my chickens are fed on time, the cherries got picked, etc.
Instead of tiring, I find it energizing, and I am more towards introvert than center on the introvert/extrovert scale.
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I am rather dismayed by the lack of interaction between people in my country (Greece). We don't talk to strangers at all, not even to say hi or hold a door open or anything. It's a cultural thing, people just don't think to talk to other people. That's all I wanted to say, have a good day!
It's like that in southern California. Most people out here act cold and just want to keep to their own. People rarely say hello to anyone they pass on the streets. Just keep your eyes pointed forward and maybe you won't have to interact with another person. The mean streets of Orange County.
And it's not just the south, been this way everywhere else I go in the middle of the country.
(Except on Houston's roads, of course. That's a different world entirely)
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I think he meant that everyone should care, not just that everyone should say the words. I guess its really up to you whether you want to do it or not, but it is a pleasant attribute
Actually, if you do certain things while saying the words, it will help make you care. There are two things you need to do: (1) say it intentionally. Pay attention to how you say it, and deliver it earnestly with your head up and be prepared to (2) listen to the response. Give due consideration to the answer and don't dismiss it. This is a window into someone else's life: treasure it, regard it with curiosity, but no…
I have a coworker who, upon arriving to the office every morning, walks by my desk and asks* "How are you doing?" and every morning I say "fine" with varying levels of sarcasm (and eyerolls). Does she ever notice my tone? Nope. She just parrots back "that's good!"
Most of the time, I think people are programmed to ask out of some socially expected behavior...but I'm pretty sure they don't want to hear what the actual answer is.
"Well, I woke up to my cat knocking a vase off a table and having to clean up broken glass at 2:30 in the morning. Then when my alarm went off, I got out of bed and stepped right in a pile of cat puke. Oh, I'm also crampy and I hate this job."
Somehow I don't think that will go over too well.
____
* as much as one can ask when their face is engaged in whatever is on their smartphone and not what's going on in front of them.
"You should care because nobody else does" Sure. It's a decent enough reason. But it seems born from an overly cynical thesis. How about a better reason? Care because you want to. Make a conscious effort to give every stranger you encounter the benefit of the doubt. Some will prove you wrong, naturally. But until they do, they're presumed innocent. It's actually pretty remarkable how much of a difference this approac…
A sarcastic tone would throw off the cashier, or, if (my personal example) I am stressed or thinking of something else, of course my intent will be interpreted as "not caring," as, I probably don't.
It doesn't take that Much willpower just to be nice to people, and many times, you will catch the "auto response must say hi how are you" verbists off guard in a good way.
Wish I could say I invented that but I stole it.
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It's also mentally exhausting and drains your willpower. While it may be a sign of good character, being like that 24/7 (even when you don't feel like it) is a good recipe for driving you insane eventually.
Making a "code" is like building a habit. Maintaining the code might be tiring at first, but consistently caring about others, just like consistently brushing your teeth, will inevitably get easier. If you truly are feeling exhausted/insane after treating people well for a day, its unlikely you think people are worth treating well to begin with.
Habits like this are a muscle that can be developed. Relatedly, the concept of ego depletion: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion
If your product is Tiffany priced, you'd better care a lot. If you work at the French Laundry, you'd better care a lot, and make sure your peers do too.
In either case, losing touch of the customer will force you to lose touch with the business.
Somewhat related: am I the only one who's not in love with the new trend of startups sending fake "personal" messages to new users? I know you want to show you care, but I haven't had 5 minutes to try out your app and you're already asking me if I need any help and when we can schedule a Skype call so you can show me all your cool features. I usually just ignore these messages, but always feel slightly bad on the off…
But recently? I didn't even go to that site when I got the launch email. Instead of asking me why (through a form on your site, not one-on-one through an email) or nudging me to check if now's a better time to poke around, they're going to do a personal webinar for me?
I recently had this kind of inbox harassment on my home account and every time I saw another email asking me to connect with them, I felt a little sad. Were they having a hard time reaching the numbers they wanted? Was everything okay at HQ? Kind of depressing, but that's the only way I could justify the amount of emails I was receiving without ever showing interest except for whatever time and dimension it was when I signed up to begin with.
I don't really know why I put myself through it, the unsubscribe button is right there. I guess it just kind of fascinates me, the combination of hot messes that are creepy sales outreach and HTML emails.
Maybe I'm just too loose with my email.
Maybe I just care too much.