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Nobody Cares

bennesvig.com

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21–30 of 73 posts

Re: Nobody Cares

#21

Post by chollida1 »

dasil003 wrote: post #12

A corollary is there's a limit to what you can effectively care about. A big part of what makes us geeks is caring too much about the wrong things (according to normals anyway).

> A corollary is there's a limit to what you can effectively care about.

In absolute terms, maybe, I'm not sure.

But in relative terms, by definition, there is a limit to what you can care about.

Care more about your job than your kids, that's a problem. Care more about your friends than your spouse at a time when they need your support, that's a problem.

Re: Nobody Cares

#22

Post by ema »

sjtgraham wrote: post #20

The first thing I do when interacting with someone who is providing me a service is ask them how their day is going. Why? Because no one does this (I'm in London), more often than not it really makes a positive difference to this persons day, i.e. they are genuinely shocked that someone gives a shit (I do by the way) and it doesn't cost me a single thing to do. I think it's something everyone should do.

>I think it's something everyone should do.

Nah, i don't think so, because most people (me included) wouldn't actually care and then it would devolve into meaningless politeness. I prefer that only the people (like you) who actually care signal that they care.

Re: Nobody Cares

#23

Post by Xcelerate »

code177 wrote: post #6

This seems like a very cynical article. On the behalf of everyone in Canada, the UK, and Australia, it's very common for people to reciprocate this sort of courtesy and genuinely mean it. In fact, I'd go as far to say that most people would be downright offended if you didn't reciprocate. Similarly, most people go out of their way to thank transit drivers, and everyone holds doors. Perhaps an American could share som…

I live in Georgia. Everyone here is really friendly and means it.

Re: Nobody Cares

#25

Post by ChuckMcM »

Xcelerate wrote: post #24
nicolethenerd wrote: post #15

"Does your server really care how the first few bites are?" On first pass, I read this and thought he spelled 'bytes' wrong. ^_^

Ha ha, wow! I thought I was the only one who read it that way.

Your server really cares, its those first few bites that tell it the packet is meant for them :-)

Re: Nobody Cares

#26

Post by icebraining »

sjtgraham wrote: post #20

The first thing I do when interacting with someone who is providing me a service is ask them how their day is going. Why? Because no one does this (I'm in London), more often than not it really makes a positive difference to this persons day, i.e. they are genuinely shocked that someone gives a shit (I do by the way) and it doesn't cost me a single thing to do. I think it's something everyone should do.

The few time I tried that I got annoyed or even angry looks. And frankly, I'd be annoyed to - I don't want to tell some random stranger how my day is doing (it's none of their business) and I don't want to have to make up some excuse to deflect the question.

Re: Nobody Cares

#27

Post by kephra »

Moin,

There is one nice thing about traditional frisian greeting:

The first one greets, moin and the traditional answer is moin,moin. We often confuse people from southern Germany and the rest of the world, because we use that greeting around the clock, even if moin sounds a lot lot like morning.

But the translation of moin is just good. So we avoid all those how are you, fine thank you nonsense, and just greet each other with good and good,good.

Re: Nobody Cares

#28

Post by icebraining »

Xcelerate wrote: post #23
code177 wrote: post #6

This seems like a very cynical article. On the behalf of everyone in Canada, the UK, and Australia, it's very common for people to reciprocate this sort of courtesy and genuinely mean it. In fact, I'd go as far to say that most people would be downright offended if you didn't reciprocate. Similarly, most people go out of their way to thank transit drivers, and everyone holds doors. Perhaps an American could share som…

I live in Georgia. Everyone here is really friendly and means it.

I'd find that extremely tiring.

Re: Nobody Cares

#29

Post by substr »

jack-r-abbit wrote: post #13
munin wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

this is kind of a jerk thing to do because a server / cashier person basically has to be nice even if they feel crappy so when you ask them "how are you doing" you are forcing them to lie. do you feel better now?

I don't do it to make myself feel better. I care. I've had plenty of them tell me they're having a bad day or what have you.

But cashiers/servers probably get asked that same question "how are you?" a hundred times per day. Customers who think they are being nice by starting small talk may have the opposite affect. It's all context really.Small talk in a busy line is probably not the best idea.

Re: Nobody Cares

#30

Post by jonnathanson »

"You should care because nobody else does"

Sure. It's a decent enough reason. But it seems born from an overly cynical thesis.

How about a better reason? Care because you want to. Make a conscious effort to give every stranger you encounter the benefit of the doubt. Some will prove you wrong, naturally. But until they do, they're presumed innocent.

It's actually pretty remarkable how much of a difference this approach can make in your daily life. People on HN like to talk about "expanding their luck surface area," and other terms of that nature. Well, being genuinely interested in other people is one of the better ways to do it.

Our lives are stressful. Our patience is thin. Our guard is up. All of that seems to come with the territory of modern life. But resolving to push that crap down, and treat other people respectfully, takes an enormous amount of strength. And it's a mark of good character.

Have something you stand for in life. Have a code. Make being a good, friendly person part of that code. This isn't corny. This is strong. This is badass. James Bond lives by a code. Batman lives by a code. See if you can rise to the challenge, and do the same.

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