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Nobody Cares

bennesvig.com

11–20 of 73 posts

Re: Nobody Cares

#11
post #3

I don't care that nobody cares. I care that they pretend that they do. Fake friendliness is annoying, and good service is not formulaic.

as someone from eastern europe, I'm always happy visiting countries/places where people are nice to customers by default, and I don't care if it's fake. I don't like being an accidental victim of pms when comming to buy a pack of cigs.

Re: Nobody Cares

#12
A corollary is there's a limit to what you can effectively care about.

A big part of what makes us geeks is caring too much about the wrong things (according to normals anyway).

Re: Nobody Cares

#13
post #8

When I am interacting with someone who is "serving" me in some way and they ask how I am doing... I almost always ask them back. It is quite interesting the different reactions I get. They pretty much have to be pleasant and I think it throws them off when people are pleasant by choice.

this is kind of a jerk thing to do because a server / cashier person basically has to be nice even if they feel crappy so when you ask them "how are you doing" you are forcing them to lie. do you feel better now?

I don't do it to make myself feel better. I care. I've had plenty of them tell me they're having a bad day or what have you.

Re: Nobody Cares

#16
I return the "how are you?" question with equivalent replies in shops all the time and if recipients were annoyed by it, I don't recall noticing. Being pleasant frequently helps me feel more pleasant. And anyway, I actually do hope they have a great day. I hope everyone has a great day.

Re: Nobody Cares

#17
post #6

This seems like a very cynical article. On the behalf of everyone in Canada, the UK, and Australia, it's very common for people to reciprocate this sort of courtesy and genuinely mean it. In fact, I'd go as far to say that most people would be downright offended if you didn't reciprocate. Similarly, most people go out of their way to thank transit drivers, and everyone holds doors. Perhaps an American could share som…

Seems pretty cynical to me too, but I've lived in either North Dakota or Minnesota for a couple of decades. It takes so little effort to be nice and have a conversation with people. Who knows, you might make the teller laugh and get through their day easier.

[from the article] Does anyone who has ever said “have a good one” actually mean it?

Yep, I do mean it. I'm that sap. I wish you well and still sign all my e-mail "keep safe". I mean that too. The world can be an unforgiving place, no need for me to not help you along.

Re: Nobody Cares

#18

I return the "how are you?" question with equivalent replies in shops all the time and if recipients were annoyed by it, I don't recall noticing. Being pleasant frequently helps me feel more pleasant. And anyway, I actually do hope they have a great day. I hope everyone has a great day.

[deleted]

Re: Nobody Cares

#19
When I ask someone how they're doing and they say "good" it makes me a feel a tiny bit better. I don't know if they're lying or not, but I feed off of their good feelings none-the-less.

I usually "pay it forward" by also trying to be generally positive when interacting with strangers.

Re: Nobody Cares

#20
The first thing I do when interacting with someone who is providing me a service is ask them how their day is going. Why? Because no one does this (I'm in London), more often than not it really makes a positive difference to this persons day, i.e. they are genuinely shocked that someone gives a shit (I do by the way) and it doesn't cost me a single thing to do.

I think it's something everyone should do.

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