Nobody Cares
bennesvig.com
Nobody Cares
1–10 of 73 posts
Re: Nobody Cares
#2Thanks for the succinct bit of observation! It is something that no one really picks up on, but when you are told about it all you can think is "huh, that really makes sense". For that I thank you. I am going to go really ask someone how their day is going. =)
Re: Nobody Cares
#3I don't care that nobody cares. I care that they pretend that they do. Fake friendliness is annoying, and good service is not formulaic.
Re: Nobody Cares
#4When I am interacting with someone who is "serving" me in some way and they ask how I am doing... I almost always ask them back. It is quite interesting the different reactions I get. They pretty much have to be pleasant and I think it throws them off when people are pleasant by choice.
Re: Nobody Cares
#5I always genuinely care and end up looking like a smug asshole most of the time but there are a few times when someone does seem to feel really good that I care.
You should see how much meat they pack on my subs at the local sub place. ;)
Re: Nobody Cares
#6This seems like a very cynical article. On the behalf of everyone in Canada, the UK, and Australia, it's very common for people to reciprocate this sort of courtesy and genuinely mean it. In fact, I'd go as far to say that most people would be downright offended if you didn't reciprocate.
Similarly, most people go out of their way to thank transit drivers, and everyone holds doors. Perhaps an American could share some insight.
Re: Nobody Cares
#7I don't care that nobody cares. I care that they pretend that they do. Fake friendliness is annoying, and good service is not formulaic.
Come to Spain then, most people don't care and there's no effort to hide that. Stuff like this happens often:
- having to chase a store clerk while he flees and tries to hide because his chatting with his friend on the cell is obviously more important.
- "Oh could you also please bring ..." replied with a "why didn't you say that before?" at say a restaurant.
I used to be annoyed by fake attention in the North Americas, but after a couple years back here, gawd how I miss fake. They may not really care about me, but they care about trying to make the experience pleasant for the customer.
Re: Nobody Cares
#8When I am interacting with someone who is "serving" me in some way and they ask how I am doing... I almost always ask them back. It is quite interesting the different reactions I get. They pretty much have to be pleasant and I think it throws them off when people are pleasant by choice.
this is kind of a jerk thing to do because a server / cashier person basically has to be nice even if they feel crappy so when you ask them "how are you doing" you are forcing them to lie.
do you feel better now?
Re: Nobody Cares
#9Wait, you're not supposed to ask how the other person's doing? Really? :(
Re: Nobody Cares
#10I don't care that nobody cares. I care that they pretend that they do. Fake friendliness is annoying, and good service is not formulaic.
Come to Spain then, most people don't care and there's no effort to hide that. Stuff like this happens often: - having to chase a store clerk while he flees and tries to hide because his chatting with his friend on the cell is obviously more important. - "Oh could you also please bring ..." replied with a "why didn't you say that before?" at say a restaurant. I used to be annoyed by fake attention in the North Americ…
I live in the US Midwest. Yes, it is true that if someone asks you casually "How are you?" they are not expecting your life story, and the waiter's question about "how's the food so far?" is generally not an invitation to give a three paragraph review of the food. But it is legitimately a time to ask for refills, and a clerk's question is legitimately a time to tell them about the bathroom being dirty or something. It may not be a close personal connection and you may not invite them to your son's graduation party, but it isn't quite the null, empty question this essay portrays, either. It's better than being ignored.
Fun hack: "How are you?", "What's up?", "Hey", etc., are all fungible. It is perfectly acceptable to answer "What's up?" with "Hey" or a question in return. Fun.