Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows • Hacker News Board

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#51

Post by ghaff » Sun, Apr 13, 2025, 3:37 PM UTC

api wrote: post #29

Seattle, meaning the city, right? When people get married and think about settling down and maybe having kids, they usually leave high cost of living cities. They want stability, something they can own or rent long term, and usually more space, especially if kids are coming. Sometimes they move to the suburbs, sometimes across the country. The only people who stay tend to be rich people who can actually afford to get…

People, especially couples, moving out of cities as they get older has been a thing for decades. You’d think young urbanites would welcome this.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#52

Post by pfdietz » Sun, Apr 13, 2025, 3:40 PM UTC

MaxPock wrote: post #47

TFR in the US is just as bad as in China

TFR in the US is 1.66. In China, it is 1.18.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#53

Post by willidiots » Sun, Apr 13, 2025, 3:41 PM UTC

jandrewrogers wrote: post #25

Anecdotally, among the people I know in Seattle, many people who have happily been in the same relationship for decades are not married. People are not avoiding long-term relationships, they are avoiding the baggage and fairly rigid assumptions that comes with state intervention in their relationships. There is zero social pressure to be “officially” married so people have no reason to do it for the sake of social co…

One thing to be mindful of is that this limits your ability to help your partner as you age. State intervention can play both ways.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#54

Post by TriangleEdge » Sun, Apr 13, 2025, 3:41 PM UTC

I live in Seattle now, am married, and have an infant. I find Seattle not friendly towards families at all. The going rate for a daycare here is 3.5k per month for an infant. My wife and I are both ~7%ers? individually and we can barely afford our home (a tall skinny townhouse with no yard) and the cost of 1 baby. Having a family is hard here... Also, I don't find Seattle safe for infants and toddlers, or anybody really..

What big tech wants are people who are willing to give up everything for the dream of making money, and that's what they got.

Edit: Our life is pretty good in any case. I would never let my kid go outside and play unsupervised in Seattle even tho I myself did this as a kid in my home town (the safety I was mentioning).

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#55

Post by evantbyrne » Sun, Apr 13, 2025, 3:42 PM UTC

jimbob45 wrote: post #9

elric wrote: post #2

How many of these never-married men are in a relationship? Unmarried != single. Stats on the number of singles who have never been in a relationship would be far more valuable. Relationships, sexual or otherwise, are not subject to paperwork. The days of relationships, sex, or even reproduction being tied to marriage are long gone.

Anecdotal but my friends don’t try at all anymore or they don’t put in any effort and pretend that’s not their problem (read: you need to shower daily). It’s stupid because the combination of singles mixers, tinder, and community events make it very easy to find a partner (keeping them is another story) but nobody wants to try. I’m of the opinion that porn has sapped their will to find women, even though it’s very po…

It is a natural human tendency to shift blame to external boogeymen, but to speak frankly, I think there's something deeper going on with the loneliness epidemic than nudey videos on the internet. A seemingly large chunk of both sexes have major personality issues that prevent them from getting along with each other.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#56

Post by kmeisthax » Sun, Apr 13, 2025, 3:42 PM UTC

mindslight wrote: post #17

georgeburdell wrote: post #4

I do want to point out that never-married by looking at legal paperwork is a blunt instrument. There are reasons, especially for dual high earners, to not get a marriage license. Examples of tax-related things that don’t double when married; -Income tax brackets above about $200k -SALT cap -Mortgage interest deduction -HSA contributions (if have children) -Dependent care FSA contributions

- Collapsing two legal entities into effectively one. In the days of the healthcare cartel and other hyperfinancialized shakedowns, this seems like a poor idea. Corpos hire armies of lawyers to create new legal entities so their owners can escape liability. It seems foolish to sign a piece of paper that undermines your main access to that dynamic.

The Sybil attack reigns supreme!

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#57

Post by jb1991 » Sun, Apr 13, 2025, 3:43 PM UTC

willidiots wrote: post #53

jandrewrogers wrote: post #25

Anecdotally, among the people I know in Seattle, many people who have happily been in the same relationship for decades are not married. People are not avoiding long-term relationships, they are avoiding the baggage and fairly rigid assumptions that comes with state intervention in their relationships. There is zero social pressure to be “officially” married so people have no reason to do it for the sake of social co…

One thing to be mindful of is that this limits your ability to help your partner as you age. State intervention can play both ways.

That’s unfortunate. And it’s a uniquely American mindset. Long-term relationships in Europe for example do not require marriage in the same way that Americans do. People get married in the states because of the law, people get married in other countries because they just want to get married for emotional or spiritual reasons.