Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

I'm a senior web developer (10 years), but in the past three years, I’ve struggled with anxiety, and my performance has suffered because of it. I started a new job last year but I was let go due to performance and am now wondering how to move forward.

Councilling has made it clear my job and my personal traits are the root cause of my anxiety. Being conscious of what others think of me and fearing making mistakes doesn't mix well with code reviews, sprints and constant deadlines.

The anxiety causes tight muscles, brain fog, adrenaline rushes, and exhaustion, making me 30% slower. It’s a vicious cycle: more anxiety makes me slower, which then fuels more anxiety.

I'm working on this through counselling, journaling, self-reflection, and meditation, but what do I do now? I need to find a new job, but a fast-moving startup environment will just lead to the same outcome.

I do want meaningful work—I don't want to pick my nose all day. But I need a less demanding environment. All I see on LinkedIn are "fast-moving" startup roles. Are there any slower paced web dev jobs? I'm fine taking a pay cut for the right pace and environment. Taking a mid level job is a possibility but they seem scarce and I'm wary of just eventually being given senior work load.

The only other option is to change career within or outside of software. I have no ideas here, and to be honest, this is rather frightening. I'd be curious to hear what others have done.

If you have any tips on the above, have similar programming-related anxiety issues, and/or have overcome them, please share what you can. It will really help me out.

I think you are doing all the right things - meditation, counseling, journaling. I would add exercise if it's possible for you, it has a big effect in lowering anxiety for most people.

> If you have any tips on the above, have similar programming-related anxiety issues, and/or have overcome them, please share what you can. It will really help me out.

I think all devs hate Jira boards and being judged on how many points they score each sprint. Estimating things well is extremely hard so even great devs sometimes don't finish sprints well - which causes unnecessary angst if your boss is the kind of guy that gives a hard time over something like this. There is no magic bullet here - I think the most important thing is a sympathetic boss who you connect with and who doesn't pressure you constantly. How were your previous bosses?

> I do want meaningful work—I don't want to pick my nose all day. But I need a less demanding environment. All I see on LinkedIn are "fast-moving" startup roles. Are there any slower paced web dev jobs?

Yes, for sure. These roles exist, especially in non software first companies and/or big legacy systems. Banking, insurance, manufacturing etc etc. The odds are the pace would be slower.

> The only other option is to change career within or outside of software. I have no ideas here, and to be honest, this is rather frightening. I'd be curious to hear what others have done.

Who doesn't entertain this thought here and there, even people who love software development can get fatigued after 10 years. I have no idea too ; I'm thinking I have no idea I'll even be able to remain employed 5 years from now with the pace AI is advancing at, but that's a different discussion.

Anyway to recap - key to job longevity is your direct boss that's the most important thing. higher chances of slower pace in legacy or non software businesses. Second career is something most of us think about and I don't have a solution either - but I think getting fired once or even twice doesn't mean at all you have no way of succeeding in your next role. It just means you had one bad role. Good luck and take care!

Fortunatley its not that severe and so I'm not taking medication. I can see them being useful in certain situations to give people really suffering some much needed space, but in my case I feel they would just be a bandaid.

I agree with exercise and diet. I exercise 4-5 times a week and my diet is pretty good. All home cooking with lots of vegetables and not overly oily, salty etc.

> Just remember a job is a job. They are disposable.

This certainly is a good thing to remind myself of. Definitely takes a bit of the edge of.

Thank you for chipping in, I really appreciate it.

It did wonders for me as well, the side effects after some prolonged use were less than stellar. The good news was I was in a much better headspace, doc put me on Wellbutrin in addition to the and I was able to taper off the lexapro over 3 months. Now, I am only taking a generic form of bupropion and generic dextromethorphan(cold medicine) together and it is a total game changer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dextromethorphan/bupropion

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