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Matched and Deleted

dikshaupadhyay.com

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Re: Matched and Deleted

#41

Post by grok22 »

parsimo2010 wrote: post #36
ozzyphantom wrote: post #18

After finding my partner on Hinge (following years of dating apps, setups, and in-person approaches), I've reflected on this journey. Despite the countless disappointing dates, the 3-year struggle ultimately proved worthwhile. However, I'm troubled by how profit motives distort online dating. The business model incentivizes engagement over meaningful connections, creating a system where genuine relationships feel lik…

A non-profit dating platform probably means you don’t charge much- which initially seems good, but it probably also means you’ll attract a bunch of users who aren’t serious because they have nothing at risk. So the people who are seriously looking for a relationship will be lost in all the casual users. Sure, you could make people deposit a bunch of money to prove they’re serious but you’ll lose all your users. If yo…

You could charge a lot and only not have dark patterns :-). Nothing says you have to charge a little because you are open-source/foss.

Re: Matched and Deleted

#42

Post by mettamage »

fwip wrote: post #37
bossyTeacher wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel we are bad at assessing our own attractiveness (unless you are exceptionally top-model like attractive). Most people who find you attractive will never tell you. This is particularly true for men as women are socialised to not be that overt about their romantic interests.

An additional truth is that straight women tend to be much less picky about physical appearance than straight men. Despite what many single men will tell you, their difficulty in finding a partner often has much more to do with their personality than their appearance.

That has been my experience as well. The nuanced exception: online dating. During a date looks don’t matter much but getting swiped right? Being photogenic really helps. Which is not the same thing as looks but it plays into it

Re: Matched and Deleted

#43

Post by mettamage »

loriverkutya wrote: post #39
mettamage wrote: post #6

> The stats are bleak. Industry-wide, only about 10% of users find a long-term partner. Hinge? Roughly 5%. That’s worse than your odds at a Vegas table (a good 35%-50%). But still, people flock to it. Why? I know I fall into a unique-ish category, but let me tell why about 1% of men flock to it. Because they have the skill in dating but online is easiest. Before online dating my potential to match with an attractive…

Not sure from what time is your experience is from, if it’s pre Covid, I would say it’s outdated. Dating apps in the last few years turned into hyper optimised tunnels to get money out of their users while keeping them in the app with algorithms surgically portioning interactions aimed to keep their users swiping.

About 2 years ago. Most principles I used are more than 10 years old. Certain other things were found by experimentation between 2.5 and 2 years ago

Re: Matched and Deleted

#45

Post by heavymetalpoizn »

kayodelycaon wrote: post #28
nathanaldensr wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I appreciate your empathetic need to help, but the answer is not more tech, no matter how that tech is funded. It's less tech. As a species we have to return to more local life where we grow up knowing those around us, including the opposite sex, and pair off that way. Humans did not evolve to live in gigantic cities of millions of people and be able to select mates from the entire dating app population (I include Fa…

> As a species we have to return to more local life where we grow up knowing those around us This only works if the local people accept you. I know many LGBT people who aren’t accepted by those around them. Personally, I left everyone I grew up around because I couldn’t find friends or work.

[dead]

Re: Matched and Deleted

#46

Post by fireburning »

MrMcCall wrote: post #25
ptero wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a noble idea which I completely respect. But changing human nature is a tough task. Plus, changing a trait into something that seems better (e.g., full honesty on goals) might have all sorts of unexpected consequences. There are dark fiction stories about societies with forced honesty (and a few who figured out the way out of it). The road to hell and all that. No offense intended. My 2c.

> But changing human nature is a tough task. It is up to each of us to self-reflect and then make the effort to self-evolve. The key to this is doing so for the benefit/happiness of others. > There are dark fiction stories about societies with forced honesty Of course. a) It's fiction, b) We must choose to be honest and then make the effort to both know the truth and manifest the truth in not just what we say but wha…

this is very naive and kind of adorable if you look at it in the grand scheme of things nothing really has changed since the days of the theocracy

we have gigantic compute clusters that do things what humans would have thought as deities but have people advocating for the return of feudalism

we are closer to pride and prejudice than ring world that won't change in the next 1000 years or so regardless of the amount of wisdom

Re: Matched and Deleted

#47

Post by fireburning »

thrwythrwythrwy wrote: post #24

Personally, I’ve only ever been on three dates my entire life — all of them with women I met on Hinge while I was active on it last year. None went past the first date. When my account was new, I got more matches than I could reasonably handle. But that slowly changed into a trickle, and eventually no matches for months on end. I had lots of motivation to meet someone in the beginning; now I begrudgingly feel resigne…

one human's struggle is another's riches at least you got some matches?

imagine being so revolting you didn't get any like me keep ya head up

Re: Matched and Deleted

#48

Post by fireburning »

fwip wrote: post #37
bossyTeacher wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel we are bad at assessing our own attractiveness (unless you are exceptionally top-model like attractive). Most people who find you attractive will never tell you. This is particularly true for men as women are socialised to not be that overt about their romantic interests.

An additional truth is that straight women tend to be much less picky about physical appearance than straight men. Despite what many single men will tell you, their difficulty in finding a partner often has much more to do with their personality than their appearance.

nah igor disagrees :)

Re: Matched and Deleted

#49

Post by fireburning »

deadbabe wrote: post #21

The odds in real life are truly not that much better, people are just willing to settle more. But the thing is, if you’re online dating there is no reason to settle. If you wanted to settle, you’d just meet people in real life. Online dating is for you to take a chance at getting the best you can get. Sometimes it works and sometimes not. People just don’t understand this. If you’re not at the top % of the dating poo…

if you look in the mirror and scare yourself or a girl made you wear a bag over your face during sex like me just become a monk :)

Re: Matched and Deleted

#50

Post by fireburning »

MrMcCall wrote: post #29
martinsnow wrote: post #9

Are respondents truthful in interviews? I found my wife using a dating application. It was very easy, I just had to widen the geography I was searching.

Galactic search enabled ;-)

lol for some of us i doubt multi galatic multi dimensional searches would yield nothing
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