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Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

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Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#121

Post by anon743448 »

kaikai wrote: post #36
ty6853 wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If he switches from contract/1099 to a wage job I wonder if child support will start garnishing the fuck out of it. This is the black hole a lot of people get sucked into and end up having to start their own business to buy some runway because the courts very much enjoy kicking non custodial parents in the teeth to the point they cannot get one foot on the ground.

Supporting their kids is one of their responsibilities. Child support is income-based. I haven’t had to navigate that system so don’t have specific advice, but I’m not going to support someone dodging child support.

I agree but sometimes system is setup in such ways that you can never reliably support your children.

I have met a few people at work who feared jail time whenever there were rumors of restructuring or layoffs. Even with their tech salaries, they had no money leftover for emergency fund. And if they don’t pay child support, they’ll go to jail. How are they supposed to support their children from a jail?

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#122

Post by SoftTalker »

webprofusion wrote: post #120

Based on your interests I would suggest a junior role in IT helpdesk, going back to school sounds good for long term personal development but is not optimal for work and will require years of effort that you could have spent adding to your resume. Don't look for big tech companies, just look for any company with more than 15 employees, because basically someone needs to look after the computers, phones, printers, wif…

Yes. Get a job. Ideally a job in your area of interest, but any job that will get you into a living situation where you have a real address and a place to call home. This is important for your psychological well being. Very few people thrive at being lone nomads let alone living out of a car. Show up, on time, sober, and clean. Work diligently and strive to be a top performer even if the job seems beneath you or one that you don't want forever. That job can then be parlayed into a reference or at least employment history for a better job.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#123

Post by john_moscow »

endofreach wrote: post #34
ty6853 wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If he switches from contract/1099 to a wage job I wonder if child support will start garnishing the fuck out of it. This is the black hole a lot of people get sucked into and end up having to start their own business to buy some runway because the courts very much enjoy kicking non custodial parents in the teeth to the point they cannot get one foot on the ground.

It's not like the government is taking the money though... usually it goes to someone who is arguably deserving. So i feel "kicking in the teeth" seems inappropriate. I also fucked up because of taxes many times and just recently a big bad "surprise" hit me. But it's not like it was not my failure of responsibility.

No point in setting yourself on fire to keep others warm though.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#124

Post by gwbas1c »

> What would YOU do in my situation to break the cycle?

I would start by getting in touch with extended family, friends, and anyone who trusts me enough to lend me a couch. Then I would make sure that my footprint on said couch was as small as possible. (IE, I'd make sure not to leave a mess.) Finally, I'd be very open about my search for employment so they're constantly assured that I'm actively working on becoming self-sufficient.

For example, my cousin divorced her husband and put a restraining order on him. He ended up moving in with his first wife while he gets his life back together.

---

Assuming someone I know was in a similar situation, my ability to lend them my couch mostly depends on the risk they bring into my household. In the past, I avoided a college friend because he became a heroin addict. I'd give my nieces and nephews a lot of leeway in this situation; and the same for my cousins' children. Older cousins and adult friends would require closer understanding of the situation.

I would seek to understand if alcohol, drugs, (or other vices like video games) contributed to the situation. Substance abuse is not something I want around my family, and it's not something I'm comfortable helping someone else manage.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#125

Post by capitanazo77 »

Im Mexico your family would lift you up but I don’t know about the us.

What I would do is just take my skills and find the most valuable thing I can offer.

Example: buy a security camera and offer “I’ll install it and teach you how to use it”

I’ll sell your car online.

I’ll create your online store and capture your products

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#126

Post by ics »

bryanlarsen wrote: post #110
reactordev wrote: post #69

I’ve been there. I lost my marriage, my house, my money, my parents, my job, everything. Literally $100k in the hole with $0 in the bank. Sounds like you know how to survive, which is perfect… here’s what you do. Ditch uber/lyft and get your CDL. They’ll pay you and train you and give you a job. Plus, you get a nice sleeper truck to sleep in that’s more spacious than your car. (If you have the cash, an RV works inste…

From what I hear many of the commercial driver's license training & job programs are scams of the indentured servitude type. You owe them for the training and they keep on adding on penalties and fees so you don't get out from the debt. I'm sure there are some good ones out there, just be careful.

It depends, the programs offered by companies are definitely a risk and many of the independent schools are predatory in their own ways. Many states and cities may have their own free or low cost programs to get into the industry for low income folks. However the bigger hurdle will be the behavioral health history. Such history may be disqualifying for those programs; even more likely if you are taking medication; more if your medications are a banned substance. If you're not currently on medication but have any medical record of being prescribed or diagnosed with a mental health issue at any point then be prepared for a great deal of pain. Then begins the kafkaesque ordeal of finding medical practitioners who will work with you through the process instead of just tossing the hot-liability-potato. (Source: me, a recent CDL permit holder who happened to experience some burnout in the past and not simply ignore it.)

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#127

Post by 1123581321 »

waste_monk wrote: post #119
ty6853 wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is based on imputed not actual income, unlike taxes. Hence say someone getting taken hostage by terrorists will owe back support and be jailed upon their release [0]. The tax analogy would be the IRS thinks you should be better at stocks, maybe on the basis you had a few good years, then taxes you for that this year instead of your bad gains due to luck/depression/whatever. https://greensboro.com/ex-hostage-jailed…

Unfortunately they have to be pretty harsh about chasing up child support, as people spend fantastic amounts of time and effort trying to dodge it. Support has to use imputed income based on earning capacity, because people regularly quit their jobs (or get ones that pay significantly worse that their previous income) to avoid paying child support. I have a relative who worked in family law and I have no doubt there…

That sounds like a plaintiff's perspective when there is no concern for the welfare of the other parent. From a broader view of family law, we should be trying to make it more fair and being watchful for opportunities to reform abuses. The public has an interest in the welfare of both parents and any children in a divorce. We want the children to have two healthy and stable parents, and we do not want to incur health and human services costs from a destabilized parent. Not to mention the moral issues with allowing injustice to occur in an imbalanced area of the legal system.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#128

Post by [deleted] »

1123581321 wrote: post #127
waste_monk wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately they have to be pretty harsh about chasing up child support, as people spend fantastic amounts of time and effort trying to dodge it. Support has to use imputed income based on earning capacity, because people regularly quit their jobs (or get ones that pay significantly worse that their previous income) to avoid paying child support. I have a relative who worked in family law and I have no doubt there…

That sounds like a plaintiff's perspective when there is no concern for the welfare of the other parent. From a broader view of family law, we should be trying to make it more fair and being watchful for opportunities to reform abuses. The public has an interest in the welfare of both parents and any children in a divorce. We want the children to have two healthy and stable parents, and we do not want to incur health…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#129

Post by yieldcrv »

kerkeslager wrote: post #97
dvsfish wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel like this would be great advice if "CDL" was unambiguously googleable. This might be regional but I have no idea what this is meant to mean.

Second result for me is "commercial driver's license" on both Kagi and Google.

There is no shared reality on those search engines and on google there hasnt been for almost a decade

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#130

Post by yieldcrv »

Sell the desktop

go moderate discord/telegrams servers for a couple hundred in crypto per server per week. start on fiverr and keep in contact with the client directly. You can do this from your phone but get a laptop

You also need to get back in the credit system, so get a secured credit card through Self.inc

You also need to become judgment proof, so begin contributing to retirement plans again

build build build

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