Ah yes, do what all these slimy companies do to get you to accept their new terms: "These terms take effect on this date unless you send us certified mail to opt out". Works every time
Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
51–60 of 286 posts
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#52I call this “creating sane defaults.” That is, rather than going to people and asking that they make decisions about every detail, pick a set of sane defaults that demonstrate your knowledge of the situation and just tell them you’re going to run with it. This will build trust with people, and they’ll be more likely to give you attention when you really need it — because they’ll know you’re not wasting their time.
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#53This is a critical skill in big companies where everyone is swamped and busy and things get lost. I do this all the time when I’m dealing with people who don’t answer their email, or who tend to stall and delay approvals, or people who are just very busy. I’ll Email and describe the problem and then say the magic phrase “ If I don’t hear back from you in [N] days , I am going to do XYZ on [DAY N].” This way I’m not a…
Works great until you break the law by accident if you're in a regulated industry. Sometimes it isn't as easy to do that.
Yeah, opting in by default like that can backfire when something gets done and the boss gets in trouble.
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#54This is a critical skill in big companies where everyone is swamped and busy and things get lost. I do this all the time when I’m dealing with people who don’t answer their email, or who tend to stall and delay approvals, or people who are just very busy. I’ll Email and describe the problem and then say the magic phrase “ If I don’t hear back from you in [N] days , I am going to do XYZ on [DAY N].” This way I’m not a…
How do you actually word this?
"We plan to defragment the thingamajig on March 1st. We're reaching out to those who might have an interest in case this might cause problems. Please let us know if you have concerns about the defragment. If we don't hear from you by March 1st, the thingamajig will be defragged."
Something like this?
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#55This is a recipe for disaster the first time you break something. Getting a yes or a no indicates that your boss is aware of it. When you’re in the hot seat, and someone asks “Who approved this?”, the truthful answer is that no one approved it.
Yeah this only works for decisions you are basically allowed to make yourself.
The key insight is that the concept of “allowed” is flawed. Most of us are responsible for outcomes, not actions.
If you communicate well that an action is necessary for the outcome you are responsible for, that’s enough. Obviously with notice, and with a genuine effort to get acknowledgement, but ultimately it’s not about what you’re allowed to do, it’s about what you’re expected to achieve.
Now, if you’re wrong, or capricious, or disingenuous… well all bets are off. But done responsibly this is a completely appropriate and defensible approach.
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#56This is a critical skill in big companies where everyone is swamped and busy and things get lost. I do this all the time when I’m dealing with people who don’t answer their email, or who tend to stall and delay approvals, or people who are just very busy. I’ll Email and describe the problem and then say the magic phrase “ If I don’t hear back from you in [N] days , I am going to do XYZ on [DAY N].” This way I’m not a…
This sounds a bit like a fantasy or the rules you’re breaking are completely irrelevant.
“I’m going to do X in 5 days if you don’t respond” gives you absolutely no recourse if you do something that can result in reprimand.
About the only place where this works is violating some internal design decisions that are irrelevant to the business.
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
These days I almost take it for granted that somebody isn't going to read my email, or won't read it thoroughly, or will read it but will fail to acknowledge it. One can use this to their advantage if they want to skirt a hard "no" but as you said, it may backfire. And the "boss" may have a point: relying on them to read, understand, and acknowledge your email, especially when it's important, is somewhat disingenuous…
One thing I've eventually managed to learn after failing at it many, many times is that in the vast majority of cases an email can only say one thing; if you try to ask multiple questions, or give multiple pieces of information, best case people will actually read one of them. Worst case it'll overwhelm and they'll ignore the whole thing. It's obviously different if you know the recipient and that they're able to han…
All those complicated recruitment processes and companies cannot hire peoppe who know how to read...
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#58Earlier quoted context omitted.
I hardly think wanting to be more productive/efficient on your own behalf is "bending over backwards" to save a company. It could be a project with a deadline, and you want to knock some things out earlier so that there is less crunch time needed in a few weeks. Maybe you want to get some of your work done early so you can take it easier in near future where you anticipate yourself being preoccupied with other respon…
I would rather just work at a place where my hands weren't so tied. The actions you noted only come in the way of it.
It’s quite a luxury to work in a company where every interaction is perfectly empowered.
Many of us have jobs that are on the whole very good, but where inter-departmentmental or inter-personal challenges come up from time to time. I’m definitely not one who’s willing to quit in search of the elusive perfect company in that case.
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#59This is a critical skill in big companies where everyone is swamped and busy and things get lost. I do this all the time when I’m dealing with people who don’t answer their email, or who tend to stall and delay approvals, or people who are just very busy. I’ll Email and describe the problem and then say the magic phrase “ If I don’t hear back from you in [N] days , I am going to do XYZ on [DAY N].” This way I’m not a…
This sounds a bit like a fantasy or the rules you’re breaking are completely irrelevant. “I’m going to do X in 5 days if you don’t respond” gives you absolutely no recourse if you do something that can result in reprimand. About the only place where this works is violating some internal design decisions that are irrelevant to the business.
Well, definitely don't phrase it exactly like that.
Most decisions that would be made in the context where this is a useful technique are irrelevant and/or obvious. They should be made by someone lower down the chain, but organizational dysfunction requires tricks like this to get anything done.
Re: Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)
#60I've used this technique ever since I read DHH's article about the book "Turn The Ship Around" [1]. The book's author, a Naval officer, had a policy of "Don't come to me for permission, come to me with intent." Hearing that phrase changed my professional life for the better in so many ways.
Admittedly I haven't included a deadline nearly as often, but I've found a huge difference between saying "Can I do XYZ?" to my team lead (or even worse, "What should I do?"), vs. "Unless you object, I plan to do XYZ." The latter is frankly much more empowering as an employee, and it doesn't hurt that it sounds so much more senior. If I come with intent, I have to be prepared to defend that intent, which gives me more ownership in my role on a team.
1. https://signalvnoise.com/svn3/you-dont-have-my-permission/