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When your last name is Null, nothing works

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Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> A database had associated the word “null” with his personal information and citations were sent to Tartaro, who lives in Los Angeles. I'm not the biggest expert on databases, although I've worked with them a bit, but how does this occur in the first place? Usually, associations are done with primary/foreign keys. What database would allow null in that case?

If there are multiple systems involved, one of them produces a null and the other takes that as a key to create a record, but somewhere in between it gets stringified, then the string null might be accepted by a system using string keys.

And here we have identified that the system doing that uses PHP and its associative arrays.

Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#122

This is hilarious: Even those without the last name Null are finding themselves caught in the void. Joseph Tartaro got a license plate with the word “NULL” on it nearly 10 years ago. The 36-year-old security auditor thought it would be funny to drive around with the symbol for an empty value. Maybe a police officer who tried to give him a ticket would end up writing null into the system and not be able to process it,…

> A database had associated the word “null” with his personal information and citations were sent to Tartaro, who lives in Los Angeles. I'm not the biggest expert on databases, although I've worked with them a bit, but how does this occur in the first place? Usually, associations are done with primary/foreign keys. What database would allow null in that case?

I actually wonder if many individual cops use "null" (the ordinary word) as a shorthand for "plate not applicable," "not identified", "missing" etc - semantically the same thing as NULL in programming, but then in this case it wouldn't be a database NULL error. In theory the same thing could happen if someone had a DEALER vanity plate. (Though that choice might be rejected for obliquely referencing drugs.)

Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

or people whose middle name is their first name.

Hey, that's also relevant to me! I've checked my local laws, and where I live, your legal name is the one you consistently present yourself as. If you're Joe Frank Smith, and you go by Frank everywhere, that's your legal name . I've gotten so tired of having this argument. Inevitably some clerk will insist on calling me by my first name, "you know, your legal name ". No. My middle name is my legal name. It's what my…

This is technically the law in California, too (and possibly that’s where you live) but in practice the ability to do common law name-change has been abolished at a bureaucratic level.

Since at some point everything official now routes back to either a passport, an immigration/naturalization document, a court-issued name change doc, or a marriage certificate, those are effectively the only ways your name can be changed.

The problem is that all the law can do is make it legal for you to use whatever without it being considered fraudulent to try. But if your law is like CA’s it doesn’t specify other institutions other than possibly state government ones have to honor that and, in particular, it can’t constrain the federal government at all.

So that leaves the DMV as the one possibly effective way to do common law change, on the off chance somewhere will just accept your license as proof of identity. But now that driver’s licenses are subordinate to passport info or equivalent via Real ID, that route is pretty much toast too.

You might still be able to get the alternative state-only DL / state ID with a common law name, and maybe open a bank account with that, but then the credit reporting companies (or Chexsystems) don’t have to honor it so you’re possibly screwed anyway. Plus without a Real ID you’ll have to show a passport to fly domestically, and that will have the name you don’t like.

And, of course, none of this helps with your paycheck because you can’t satisfy an I-9 with a DL. It requires a federal document, too, which—if your state info doesn’t match your federal info—needs to be a fully identifying federal passport/equivalent. So even if you get the bank account with your chosen name, you might run into issues with your checks being to a different one.

At this point, it’s just not worth trying common law name change anymore. You either flip a few hundred for the official change or you accept the fact that you’ll have a public name and a private name.

(And I say this as a “Geo” who strongly dislikes seeing “George Jr” on stuff so I feel your pain. I just tell my employers that my given name only goes on paychecks, benefits, and tax forms, and is to never be used publicly. That has always worked.)

Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#124
post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve wondered about this myself, though I only have one middle name. Do you typically enter both middle names into the “Middle Name” form field?

If your full name is John Charles Paul Jacob Smith, then by definition the middle name is "Paul" right?

So with even number of names there would be no middle name at all? :)

Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#125

This is hilarious: Even those without the last name Null are finding themselves caught in the void. Joseph Tartaro got a license plate with the word “NULL” on it nearly 10 years ago. The 36-year-old security auditor thought it would be funny to drive around with the symbol for an empty value. Maybe a police officer who tried to give him a ticket would end up writing null into the system and not be able to process it,…

> A database had associated the word “null” with his personal information and citations were sent to Tartaro, who lives in Los Angeles. I'm not the biggest expert on databases, although I've worked with them a bit, but how does this occur in the first place? Usually, associations are done with primary/foreign keys. What database would allow null in that case?

The simple explanation is most of these are Excel VLOOKUPs gone wrong.

Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#126
post #76
post #66

Related. Others? Names: Hello, I'm Mr. Null. My Name Makes Me Invisible to Computers (2015) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42922038 - Feb 2025 (35 comments) We have an employee whose surname is Null (2014) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41939162 - Oct 2024 (6 comments) We have an employee whose surname is Null (2010) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34115623 - Dec 2022 (17 comments) How to pass…

there's also Adam Croot, who liked to register the handle "undefined" where possible Bring me the head of Adam Croot - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1501799

Archive link of the defunct blog post: https://web.archive.org/web/20100712060406/https://www.paulp...

Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey, that's also relevant to me! I've checked my local laws, and where I live, your legal name is the one you consistently present yourself as. If you're Joe Frank Smith, and you go by Frank everywhere, that's your legal name . I've gotten so tired of having this argument. Inevitably some clerk will insist on calling me by my first name, "you know, your legal name ". No. My middle name is my legal name. It's what my…

This is technically the law in California, too (and possibly that’s where you live) but in practice the ability to do common law name-change has been abolished at a bureaucratic level. Since at some point everything official now routes back to either a passport, an immigration/naturalization document, a court-issued name change doc, or a marriage certificate, those are effectively the only ways your name can be chang…

That's what I do, too. If you have to put Joe on the paperwork, fine, but call me Frank.

Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#129
post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> as far as I can tell, not very widely used Well, it's the most widely spoken international language, spoken in over a hundred countries, by an estimated 2-5M people. There's a rich literature (probably 30-50K books), vibrant music scene, and support in open source software (Linux, Firefox, Google products) is usually pretty good. But the issue is not how widely Esperanto, or any other language, is spoken. If you as…

What is the definition of an "international language" that makes Esperanto the most widely spoken one? Isn't Arabic an international language, for instance?

Esperanto is probably the most widely spoken international auxiliary language[0].

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_auxiliary_langua...

Re: When your last name is Null, nothing works

#130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can beat this. My wife's maiden name was in the form "Jane Angela Smith". When we got married, she changed it to "Jane Smith Jones", first name Jane, middle name Smith, last name Jones. Someone at the Social Security Administration entered it into their database as first name "Jane", no middle name, last name "Smith Jones". Now, for fun, no one noticed this for about 25 years. Her Social Security card says "Jane Sm…

This is now my go to story about name nonsense for a while.

I think it's kind of hilarious even though it's an expensive pain in the neck. There's nothing we can do to make it go away on its own, so we might as well find the humor in it.
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