I had shoulder surgery last May. My surgeon told me no combat sports (BJJ, judo) for six months minimum. I was 40 at the time.
I went back on the mats a week later. Started with only doing warmups and movement drills, worked up to gentle flow rolling (with my arm tied into my belt) at a month, then drilling techniques with well-chosen partners and conservatively rolling with those same partners at two months.
This was, of course, on top of rigorously following my PT schedule. And being very conservative with the situations I’d put myself in.
By three months I had regained full flexibility in the arm, and by six months I was back to full-contact training five days a week.
I definitely think there’s a fine line to walk here. I explicitly didn’t do judo for six months because that involves direct and unavoidable impact. And I also made sure to choose training partners who would be very cognizant of my arm and limited range of motion and who wouldn’t just grab a submission and crank it. I also would preemptively tap any time that arm got isolated or in a position where it could be attacked. But there was definitely risk that a training partner would make a mistake or I would land on it badly and tear something.
Still, I would do it all over the same way. I definitely think pushing things helped it heal dramatically more quickly and completely than otherwise. But you do have to be careful with the level of risk you’re exposing yourself to.