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A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

meyerweb.com

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Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#141

Post by iamacyborg »

svieira wrote: post #138
iamacyborg wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A bit daft, but my dad died when I was 6 and I had (and probably still have) a lot of issues expressing grief at the time. I absolutely lost it when a pet goldfish died ~5 years later. This kind of stuff can come up at the weirdest time.

What I have found is that each new grief brings all the others with it. Morning the new sorrow is tied up with morning the old sorrows.

Hmm, I've not really found that to be the case personally. Past that initial shit period up until my late teens, subsequent losses and grief has been quite different.

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#143

Post by dang »

Related. Others?

CSS gets a new logo and it uses the color `rebeccapurple` - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42161919 - Nov 2024 (184 comments)

Adding 'rebeccapurple' color to CSS Color Level 4 - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7924677 - June 2014 (25 comments)

In memory of Rebecca Alison Meyer - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7863890 - June 2014 (69 comments)

The Truth - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7524028 - April 2014 (1 comment)

The Choice - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7013747 - Jan 2014 (1 comment)

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#144

Post by zubairshaik »

BlandDuck wrote: post #135
The_Colonel wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stories like this hit me harder after having children, too. But they also provoke thankfulness for all I have. For a little while after I read such tragic stories, I try to enjoy the everyday life a bit more, enjoy the presence of the loved ones. Memento mori.

I agree entirely. I have two wonderful daughters, and stories like this hit hard. There is a fiction short-story called CHICXULUB By T. Coraghessan Boyle. It is one of the hardest hitting stories I have read as a parent. Still brings tears to my eyes. Recommended.

Thanks for the recommendation, it was a harrowing read. I'll have to re-visit this in 10-15 years when I'm no longer a young bachelor.

Here's a link for anyone else who wants to read it: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2004/03/01/chicxulub

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#145

Post by xdc0 »

I read all entries about Rebecca last night after reading this one. It is such a visceral and devastating chronicle expressed in a beautiful way, it left me deeply moved.

I wonder how he felt after writing those words. I wonder if that beautiful ability to write what he feels so that many can feel a tiny glimpse of what he felt, helps to keep moving forward, even if a little bit.

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#147

Post by Syonyk »

nullc wrote: post #124
Syonyk wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And this is why I hate AI so strongly (I... debated several less charitable wordings of this opening). I read, because I want to know what people think. What people thought, decades, centuries ago. Writing, and reading, are about the only mechanism we know to really get inside someone else's brain. To see how, and what, they think, in what they've chosen to communicate. I used to write more for a technical audience -…

but AI is telling you what 'people' think-- not a person-- but a blended up mismash of people, like the move Dark City, then strapped into a torture chair to diminish wrongthought. But it's people. or peopleish. It was made by people at least. sorta. Besides, after being filtered through perception and narration who is to say any story you hear from another person is real ? Shouldn't it be more a question of what it…

There's a reason the phrase, "Designed by committee", is not a praise. It applies to AI, too.

I don't want a mash-up of generic human thought, as filtered through a machine. I want to hear what people think, as individuals.

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#148

Post by canucker2016 »

canucker2016 wrote: post #146

Flickr Photo Album for Rebecca Alison Meyer https://www.flickr.com/photos/meyerweb/albums/72157645061445... warning - the comments for the last page of photos - so heartbreaking.

Remembering Rebecca Alison Meyer - https://heightsobserver.org/read/2014/06/17/remembering-rebe...

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#149

Post by renewiltord »

switchbak wrote: post #133
renewiltord wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this scolding behaviour is really out of place. The guy is saying "a much lesser loss caused me great hurt; I sympathize with your much greater loss and the hurt you must feel". People do this all the time normally, and secondarily humans have imprecisely expressed feelings all the time and the spirit has usually undone any harm that the worst interpretation of the words could do. But at some point in the ear…

I’ve just had a very close and traumatic loss myself. I can assure you that in some cases, a poorly chosen comparison of grief can have the opposite of the intended effect. It’s a tough one, because the grieving mind isn’t particularly rational. You have to be especially careful of things that would otherwise be completely fine. Much of it comes down to wanting real empathy -regardless of where their understanding of…

Thanks for sharing that. I'd think that the slight lean towards the fact that we're here discussing loss rather than meeting at a funeral makes it different, but I'll vary my view slightly. It's not a comparison I'd ever make because to me pets are pets and animals are not human. So I'll alter my view to not call out a scold on this topic in future in response to your comment.

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#150

Post by cyrillite »

adamcblodgett wrote: post #85

A long time ago I saw Eric do a presentation at An Event Apart in Seattle on something like Designing for People in Crisis. He used his trip with his daughter Rebecca to the emergency room as the example of why it's crucial to have a section of your hospital webpage for people in crisis that is very easy to read and very easy to use in case of shock, trauma and emergency. Things like phone numbers and emergency room…

This would be a really good read if anything like it exists somewhere. Do you have notes, more to say, a direct link to relevant work, anything?
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