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A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

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Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#111

Post by Obscurity4340 »

vishnugupta wrote: post #73
lemonberry wrote: post #5

I was a young (19/20) bartender in the mid to late 90s. One afternoon I worked a private event. There was a couple there that had been staring at me. Eventually they came over and apologized. They said I looked like their son and that he'd be about my age that time. I forget how old he was when he passed. But I'll never forget the pain their faces. Some good friends lost their son at 10 months old. He'd be 11 this ye…

In The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Theoden king expresses his grief to Gandalf, “one should not have to bury their children”. I was in college then, unmarried and didn’t appreciate the meaning of it or could appreciate his grief. Now that I have kids of my own I can’t get myself to read the posts such as OPs. And if I end up reading it their grief stays when me for a long time. Exactly what they have written, a…

> Grief = unspent love

God thats poignant :( Glad you said that for me to keep tho

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#113

Post by The_Colonel »

ignoramous wrote: post #36
hinkley wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I lost a dog at 3 and a half years almost to the day to a congenital defect, that we didn’t know about until he was already very sick. I’m a guy who will cross a street to meet someone’s dog. For over a year afterward I would cross the street to avoid walking past the same breed and color of dog. The way people avoid pitbulls. And that was just a dog. I can’t even imagine what happens when your child dies, especially…

It was relatively common for parents to lose children (every second child was expected to die before 5y) but even then, with all that death around them, the tragedy remained as great as today. Back then, most did look to their God for solace, though: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/1goyaco/when... In the present, orthodox practitioners of Abrahamic religions, in particular, may stoically overcome such…

That reminds me the story of Mozart's parents. Their first 3 children died less than 1 year old. I can't imagine the despair. Out of 7 children, only 2 survived infancy.

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#114

Post by The_Colonel »

vishnugupta wrote: post #73
lemonberry wrote: post #5

I was a young (19/20) bartender in the mid to late 90s. One afternoon I worked a private event. There was a couple there that had been staring at me. Eventually they came over and apologized. They said I looked like their son and that he'd be about my age that time. I forget how old he was when he passed. But I'll never forget the pain their faces. Some good friends lost their son at 10 months old. He'd be 11 this ye…

In The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Theoden king expresses his grief to Gandalf, “one should not have to bury their children”. I was in college then, unmarried and didn’t appreciate the meaning of it or could appreciate his grief. Now that I have kids of my own I can’t get myself to read the posts such as OPs. And if I end up reading it their grief stays when me for a long time. Exactly what they have written, a…

Stories like this hit me harder after having children, too.

But they also provoke thankfulness for all I have. For a little while after I read such tragic stories, I try to enjoy the everyday life a bit more, enjoy the presence of the loved ones.

Memento mori.

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#115

Post by djeastm »

llm_trw wrote: post #69
lemonberry wrote: post #5

I was a young (19/20) bartender in the mid to late 90s. One afternoon I worked a private event. There was a couple there that had been staring at me. Eventually they came over and apologized. They said I looked like their son and that he'd be about my age that time. I forget how old he was when he passed. But I'll never forget the pain their faces. Some good friends lost their son at 10 months old. He'd be 11 this ye…

Just remember than not a century ago the average family would bury half their kids.

I remember reading that the upper classes didn't even name their children until they were a few years old and had gotten past the crucial disease stage.

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#116

Post by djeastm »

Syonyk wrote: post #78
hn666 wrote: post #3

This is one of those moments where, thanks to the internet, you catch a glimpse of another persons world. It gives some perspective.

And this is why I hate AI so strongly (I... debated several less charitable wordings of this opening). I read, because I want to know what people think. What people thought, decades, centuries ago. Writing, and reading, are about the only mechanism we know to really get inside someone else's brain. To see how, and what, they think, in what they've chosen to communicate. I used to write more for a technical audience -…

You're right. The sad thing to me is there's not going to be much of a way to tell if the text we're reading, the picture we're looking at, or the person we're talking to even IS a real person unless they're physically in front of us.

It's a huge loss for interpersonal connectivity at a distance

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#119

Post by ignoramous »

AnIrishDuck wrote: post #80
mynameishere wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

I have lost both a daughter and a dog. I believe your intentions here are good, but I don't recommend trying to rank various types of grief. Past a certain threshold, all kinds are both the same and incomparable.

Stay strong.

Re: A decade later, a decade lost (2024)

#120

Post by ignoramous »

Santosh83 wrote: post #43
mynameishere wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Don't you think he doesn't know that? Pro-tip for you: when someone mentions the pain of losing their companion, do not give them pro-tips.

tbf to GP, in some cultures dogs are abhorred.
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