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The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

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31–40 of 84 posts

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

#31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"...women do spend more time on dating apps than men" How is that statement even true, when there are often more men than women on dating apps, by a significant factor? There are also studies showing just how difficult women are to retain on dating apps; behind the scenes, a lot more has to be done in the first 24 hours to ensure women match and meet someone of interest so that they stay in the pool.

Women spend more total time browsing. There was an amazing article on HN last week showing this but I can't find the link. Don't confuse total users or interactions with time spent.

this one? (What really happens inside a dating app)

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42921659

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

#32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"...women do spend more time on dating apps than men" How is that statement even true, when there are often more men than women on dating apps, by a significant factor? There are also studies showing just how difficult women are to retain on dating apps; behind the scenes, a lot more has to be done in the first 24 hours to ensure women match and meet someone of interest so that they stay in the pool.

I mean I definitely feel that among my age (late/mid 20s, early 30s) cohort plenty of women use dating apps and have lots of dates lined up, talk to each other about profiles they come across, and take communal notes on which men they've had bad dates with to warn their friends... It seems like using dating apps has become more of a hobby for some of these women, especially since a bunch of women in my sphere are pol…

It's a bit like how the average internet comment is posted by a "frequent commenter". Probably another case of the Pareto distribution.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

#33
post #5

> Romance scams cost victims hundreds of millions of dollars a year. As people grow increasingly isolated “People” is accurate but this is largely a male dominated issue. Men are targeted at higher rates and fall for these scams at much higher rates. Men need to be taught that random unknown women will largely not message them at random for sex. It’s almost always a scam. These scammers are playing on the psychology…

Source? A lot of the investigative reporting I've seen covers women targets. Maybe they just think women make better stories, but women do spend more time on dating apps than men. Women participate differently, but they definitely participate, and women are extremely vulnerable to emotional exploitation.

Nobody cares about men's problems. There's a whole Netflix show about the Tinder Swindler but nothing like that for men. In the last 3 months I think I've dealt with at least 4 different scammers on dating apps. Those are just the obvious ones. Then you sometimes get the foreign women trying to get into the country.

Men are often suckers in dating, far more than women. I mean at least financially speaking there is no contest. Even offline it happens a lot, with men getting suckered for drinks, "foodie calls," and random gifts or financial assistance.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

#35
post #9
post #5

> Romance scams cost victims hundreds of millions of dollars a year. As people grow increasingly isolated “People” is accurate but this is largely a male dominated issue. Men are targeted at higher rates and fall for these scams at much higher rates. Men need to be taught that random unknown women will largely not message them at random for sex. It’s almost always a scam. These scammers are playing on the psychology…

I don't think this is true, I've only ever seen women talk about losing money due to romance scams on the news. Do you have any citations?

Men generally avoid posting their L's.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

#36
post #14
post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I work on this very issue at one of the world’s largest social media companies. It’s completely male dominated.

Fascinating! Well if y'all haven't already, it would be great if you could publish a study of your findings; what you're describing is basically the exact opposite of what I expected based on other reporting.

Gentle reminder that news reporting is not a representative sample of, well, just about anything. It's highly selected and filtered through several layers. The same is true of a survey of internet posts, or online surveys btw. It's very hard to get representative samples.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

#37

More and more I feel like online spaces are far more insidiously dangerous than anticipated. We have bots or malicious actors among the userbase explicitly to sow dissent and spin the quality of discussion downwards. We have algorithms that push content based on engagement, which isn't actually connection or anything resembling engaging with community. We then have online cultures that encourage lowering empathy for…

I think it's more dangerous as a parasocial playground. You think you are making friends, but in fact it's a poor substitute and doesn't carry the risks/benefits of proper bonding with another human. This is independent of whether the other person is a bot or their communication is curated by an algorithm.

Can you say more about those risks and benefits?

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

#39
post #5

> Romance scams cost victims hundreds of millions of dollars a year. As people grow increasingly isolated “People” is accurate but this is largely a male dominated issue. Men are targeted at higher rates and fall for these scams at much higher rates. Men need to be taught that random unknown women will largely not message them at random for sex. It’s almost always a scam. These scammers are playing on the psychology…

Source? A lot of the investigative reporting I've seen covers women targets. Maybe they just think women make better stories, but women do spend more time on dating apps than men. Women participate differently, but they definitely participate, and women are extremely vulnerable to emotional exploitation.

Age is also a factor. From stories I've seen in the news it tends to be much older women. From stories I've heard from friends it is young men.

Re: The Loneliness Epidemic Is a Security Crisis

#40
post #25

More and more I feel like online spaces are far more insidiously dangerous than anticipated. We have bots or malicious actors among the userbase explicitly to sow dissent and spin the quality of discussion downwards. We have algorithms that push content based on engagement, which isn't actually connection or anything resembling engaging with community. We then have online cultures that encourage lowering empathy for…

I don't get how or why it seems to have gotten worse in the last 20-25 years. I was a very online teenager at the end of the 90s and I have formed friendships that last to this day. Or at least staying in touch. And it's not just me, it's the same for a lot of people I got to know offline who have different such circles. Maybe because it was just a smaller circle of people? Maybe because it was so not normal that peo…

IMO back in the 90s anyone looking to do harm on the internet was working alone or in a small group. That's bad, but not a system-level danger. It wasn't trillions of dollars worth of market cap conspiring against us.
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