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Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

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Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#391

Post by rayiner »

dctoedt wrote: post #388
rayiner wrote: post #328

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We don’t need to “rank” cultures to recognize that individual aspects of culture are better adapted to current environments. My dad always says that “Bangladeshis don’t know how to name kids.” We don’t have surnames, but instead two given names. And everyone uses a nickname anyway that’s unrelated to the legal names. That is just inefficient and unwieldy in a modern world where social circles are larger than a villag…

> We don’t have surnames, but instead two given names. ... So I have my dad’s last name .... Did your dad choose your last name? (Which, I've read, has a specific meaning in Hebrew, but I'm guessing your family isn't Jewish.)

My parents adopted the western practice and gave us his last name, which he doesn’t share with anyone else in his family. It’s Arabic not Hebrew, but I imagine the words are related.

My wife’s last name is in the Domesday book, and they have extensive record of their family’s activities in the U.S.—which is a cool thing you can do when you have surnames! I feel somewhat guilty that the west coast line of the name will die out in favor of a name that has no family significance to anyone, but oh well.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#392

Post by ujkhsjkdhf234 »

redcobra762 wrote: post #304
ujkhsjkdhf234 wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a White America thing and it is why we are in the situation we are in as a country but people want to pretend that race and culture doesn't play any role in anything. It does. You don't need to feel bad about it. Just acknowledge that it is a thing.

It's not a White America thing to reject race as a biological concept, it's consistent with scientific study.

The author is talking about social thing though. Raising ones' children which is a social and cultural. Bringing in race is completely valid.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#394

Post by n2dasun »

Frieren wrote: post #68

The main challenge that parents face today is on-line culture. Creating trust may mitigate that. In the same way that teachers cannot educated children instead of their parents, even that they help. Social networks should not educate children but they are doing that. Being the problem that social network incentives are misaligned with education. Ad driven feature development and content promotion plus total deregulat…

Agreed. I imagine it as the same conundrum discussed in this book, but a "connected" kid's peers now include the entirety of the internet

https://drgabormate.com/book/hold-on-to-your-kids/

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#395

Post by fastball »

guilamu wrote: post #330
fastball wrote: post #227

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That seems to be more about culture, which is separate from race or location.

Nope : https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Habitus_(sociology)

I don't understand the point you are trying to make.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#396

Post by Liffoldw3a »

dtgriscom wrote: post #170
Liffoldw3a wrote: post #164

As a parent, you can't demand trust. It's a gradual process that requires mutual commitment and it will inevitably strengthen your relationship. It will also set your child up to develop healthy relationships in the future.

Well, that's always true. It's just that if you demand trust of an adult, they'll pretend to give it to you; children will make it clear (somehow) that they're reserving judgement.

[dead]

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#397

Post by marcusverus »

redcobra762 wrote: post #365
marcusverus wrote: post #364

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a progressive thing. > it's consistent with scientific study Source?

Various studies, thinking, arguments etc. That race isn't biological isn't really up for debate, scientifically. You can believe that scientific consensus is too "woke" or has a systemic bias against the idea or whatever, but the consensus is soundly at "race is not biological". I'm personally conservative in my political views, but I don't think that means I must reject scientific consensus. https://www.sapiens.org/…

These are awful sources, and they clearly aren't scientific, but are expressions of opinion. Wish casting, even. They're playing the old cynical same word games that are required to hold this position:

"Modern genetics has established that the biological basis of most phenotypic traits typically associated with race, such as skin color and hair texture, has demonstrated that they transcend ancestry across vast geographic distances spanning continents."

The fact that the above is also true of genes that cross species lines is, presumably, not an argument that 'species' is a purely social construct with no foundation in biology.

Another asserts that humans can't be divided into subspecies, ergo race doesn't exist. That is not science, it's wordplay.

Populations of humans were separated for millennia with very little intermixing. These populations diverged genetically, to the degree that the descendants of one population can easily be visually distinguished from one another. These groups have fuzzy edges, but they are obviously, undeniably rooted in biological reality.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#398

Post by redcobra762 »

marcusverus wrote: post #397
redcobra762 wrote: post #365

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Various studies, thinking, arguments etc. That race isn't biological isn't really up for debate, scientifically. You can believe that scientific consensus is too "woke" or has a systemic bias against the idea or whatever, but the consensus is soundly at "race is not biological". I'm personally conservative in my political views, but I don't think that means I must reject scientific consensus. https://www.sapiens.org/…

These are awful sources, and they clearly aren't scientific, but are expressions of opinion. Wish casting, even. They're playing the old cynical same word games that are required to hold this position: "Modern genetics has established that the biological basis of most phenotypic traits typically associated with race, such as skin color and hair texture, has demonstrated that they transcend ancestry across vast geogra…

The NIH is not a scientific source? The Human Genome Project isn't a scientific source? The journal literally called Science? Duke University? Science Direct? The American Medical Association? The Experimental Physiology Journal?

That's a tough thing to read on HN, I have to be honest.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#399

Post by tptacek »

rayiner wrote: post #391
dctoedt wrote: post #388

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We don’t have surnames, but instead two given names. ... So I have my dad’s last name .... Did your dad choose your last name? (Which, I've read, has a specific meaning in Hebrew, but I'm guessing your family isn't Jewish.)

My parents adopted the western practice and gave us his last name, which he doesn’t share with anyone else in his family. It’s Arabic not Hebrew, but I imagine the words are related. My wife’s last name is in the Domesday book, and they have extensive record of their family’s activities in the U.S.—which is a cool thing you can do when you have surnames! I feel somewhat guilty that the west coast line of the name wil…

I don't think they're related, but the name is a very big deal in Islam, albeit with a different (and very interesting) etymology.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#400

Post by ksynwa »

dkarl wrote: post #273
ksynwa wrote: post #258

I get to closely watch my nephew being raised. He is about 2.5 years old now. If his parents need to go somewhere, they do this thing where they slip away while someone distracts the child. Really breaks my heart to see this. I can see the convenience factor. But I noticed that when the child is with them, he very often looks over his shoulders when they go out of his view. The kid is really sweet and deserves respec…

Honesty is not straightforward at that age. I know someone who grew up in a village and whose parents left her with an aunt to find work in a city when she was three. They explained to her what was happening, but she didn't understand what the city was or the time scales they were talking about. The next day she didn't understand why they were still gone. After a while she decided they had abandoned her and were neve…

Well in my scenario the separation is not this extensive. I am talking about when one of them has to go out for work or even to walk the dog for 15 minutes. I get your point that there is no explaining to a child that young what exactly is happening because it is beyond their comprehension. But I think conditioning them to be able to handle goodbyes knowing that the parent will be coming back soon is a good practice.
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