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Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

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Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#351

Post by eawgewag »

aucisson_masque wrote: post #312
edferda wrote: post #142

I don’t have kids. However, this same concept can be applied, and verified, with dogs. I have made it a rule to never deceive my dog, and she trusts me because it. If I pick up her water bowl to refill and clean it while she is in the middle of drinking, I make it a point to always give it back with fresh water. I have several water bowls around the house , and the one in my room only gets refilled when I see she is…

A dog isn't a kid obviously, the dog you leave him outside of the home once you're done and it requires maybe 30 minutes of attention a day. a kid, it's constant attention. > I will make sure that what I communicate (either verbally or non-verbally) is congruent with my actions. I believe that this, is the surest way to build trust. Everyone think that way during the beginning, until having an hour of free time durin…

> A dog isn't a kid obviously, the dog you leave him outside of the home once you're done and it requires maybe 30 minutes of attention a day. a kid, it's constant attention.

You can have a relationship with a dog like this, but you don't need to. You can have a relationship where lots of attention and love is shared. It's very meaningful and powerful.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#352

Post by Gothmog69 »

redcobra762 wrote: post #304
ujkhsjkdhf234 wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a White America thing and it is why we are in the situation we are in as a country but people want to pretend that race and culture doesn't play any role in anything. It does. You don't need to feel bad about it. Just acknowledge that it is a thing.

It's not a White America thing to reject race as a biological concept, it's consistent with scientific study.

No it's not. That's a woke lie. Race is definitely a biological concept. Sickle cell anemia for instance is heavily racially based.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#353

Post by uoaei »

bluefirebrand wrote: post #286
the__alchemist wrote: post #255

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Culture comparisons are a notoriously touchy topic. For some people, the topic itself is a taboo. I believe that's why the poster you're replying to had that reaction. For others, it's a topic to discuss and learn from.

It is important that we stop taking people who treat this topic as a taboo seriously at all This modern mentality of "all cultures are equal and valid and none are superior to any other" is just ridiculous Culture is something we are always looking to improve on. In this way, we are comparing our existing culture against hypothetical future cultures and deciding that one of them is more desirable If we can compare a…

I'm probably further left than most people you've met, and even I've come around to the idea that cosmopolitanism isn't the zenith of culture, but the negation of it.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#354

Post by _emacsomancer_ »

nmeofthestate wrote: post #133
autoexec wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The word "young" doesn't even appear in the article, so not sure what you're talking about. The title of the post we're both commenting on, which reads: "Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids". I was assuming that the title was oddly editorialized, but it's also not that uncommon for articles to change their titles too so it's possible that posting guidelines were followed and it was the…

It was posted by the author I think. I have no idea why they went with the different title. Isn't HN usually pretty strict about titles, to discourage clickbaiting?

The actual page title "marshmallow test and parenting" is much better. The HN title makes it sound like it's only relevant to a subset of parents ("young ones").

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#355

Post by Sohcahtoa82 »

NoahKAndrews wrote: post #335
redcobra762 wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not a White America thing to reject race as a biological concept, it's consistent with scientific study.

Race isn't a biological concept, but a social one, and it unfortunately has very real impacts.

How is race not a biological concept? All the things that differentiate race are genetic.

Culture and race are not synonymous.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#356

Post by miketery »

NoahKAndrews wrote: post #335
redcobra762 wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not a White America thing to reject race as a biological concept, it's consistent with scientific study.

Race isn't a biological concept, but a social one, and it unfortunately has very real impacts.

It's too taboo to study. Maybe we'd be able to answer the questions if we could study it openly.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#357

Post by aqueueaqueue »

bluGill wrote: post #243
aqueueaqueue wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is it better if the phone is a book and you read alot. That might be something to encourage? I guess it is still an isolated activity from the kid, but at least the message is "read books" over "stare at addictive device". You can also talk about the book with your kids and they see different covers each day and may be curious (and may pick it up)

What different does it make? My kids are rarely allowed screens, but they read in excess. They often get into trouble at school because after we go to bed thinking they are asleep they read a book - then the lack of sleep shows up in their behavior.

A screen is way more addictive because of the other distractions and apps.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#358

Post by bluefirebrand »

the__alchemist wrote: post #314
guhidalg wrote: post #311

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes but these comparisons of real cultures become very gross very fast. Japanese culture is orderly, neat, autonomous and their children are taught to wait at an early age. That's awesome! We should emulate Japan, clearly their culture is superior. Nevermind the salary-man trope, misogyny, Hikikomori, and rigidity that comes with it. Instead of thinking about cultures in terms of ranking, try to understand the histor…

I think this is a good example demonstrating why it becomes taboo: If you reduce cultural differences into a "good/bad" or similar simplification, then the comparison loses value, and triggers defensive responses.

Sure, not everything is clear cut good/bad, but some things are

The cultural relativism mentality that suggests we cannot judge other people's actions negatively "because that's their culture" is bullshit

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#359

Post by genewitch »

TeMPOraL wrote: post #116
genewitch wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd have to find a copy to see if it cites its source but paraphrased I've heard it: > People mechanically can have kids, physically, before they're mentally able to take care of them. The [village] elders would raise and teach the children while the adolescents worked at things adolescents do better than elders So "it takes a village" used to be literal, and as we in this part of the west started to isolate and nucl…

The way I understood the line about "minimum viable reproductive unit" I quoted is different, more straightforward: a nuclear family can't survive alone. Two people and a kid just can't survive in the wilderness; we've evolved to function in group. From this POV, the "village" is still there, it's always there. It may not be a literal village, and you and me might both be pretty much alone except for our partners, wh…

I was lending some support to the "it takes a village" thing - i understand that you inferred that non-relations and even "non-friend" can and do supplant/supplement the "village" in "modern times".

to reiterate, i wasn't arguing or debating anything you said. More of a tangent, because i've read a few books that talk about this exact thing, albeit a quarter century ago and things are hazy.

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