Makes logical sense to read about. We give my daughter as much consistency as possible
Family meals, bedtime, we live on a routine...
She's still a tiny terrorist.
Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
341–350 of 424 posts
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#342The title is moronic, the content reads like it is written by someone completely out of touch with reality. This is a common sense idea... the fact that this required this level thought is scary.
Warning: snark incoming.
The article also has a strong whiff of: the author has one young, neurotypical child and is now pretty sure he's got this whole parenting thing figured out, decides to blog about it. Then the overwhelmingly young, male, childless HN brigade descends with virtue-signaling responses about what amazing parents they'd be if, you know, they had kids, and how easy it would be.
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#343Makes logical sense to read about. We give my daughter as much consistency as possible Family meals, bedtime, we live on a routine... She's still a tiny terrorist.
> She's still a tiny terrorist.
And any good parent knows, you don’t negotiate with terrorists!
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#344There are no iPad kids in Taiwan. You go to a restaurant and all the toddlers are quietly eating. When the tantrums flare the parents gently put a lid on it. It’s truly remarkable, and I don’t have a good theory for it. But it makes going out for dinner a consistent pleasure. I don’t know how to raise kids with an even keel but I am certain that putting a nonstop algorithm in their face and becoming outraged when the…
I would never think of giving my toddlers a mobile device in the first place...
Do you have kids?
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#345Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is a White America thing and it is why we are in the situation we are in as a country but people want to pretend that race and culture doesn't play any role in anything. It does. You don't need to feel bad about it. Just acknowledge that it is a thing.
It's not a White America thing to reject race as a biological concept, it's consistent with scientific study.
Science still backs a genetic component for things like happiness and IQ, which unlike race is not a social construct and yet can still effect things like social behavior and cultural adaptations to the environment.
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#346I cannot imagine how different my life would be if I didn't trust both of my parents to the ends of the earth and beyond from the moment of consciousness. I also cannot imagine how different my life would be if despite that, they were untrustworthy people.
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#347I know this comment invites disaster but.....what is heaven other than the ultimate delayed gratification? i.e. don't worry about your miserable life as a serf toiling for the lord of the manor 6 days a week because if you're good now you'll be happy after you die. You can imagine the aristocracy laughing to themselves about that idea. Nowadays we get told to save money...but I'm from Zimbabwe where saving money was…
Sorry for being born there. It seems like North Korea, Haiti, Zimbabwe, or Eritrea are where you are born if god hates you.
NOO! Zimbabwe is the best **g place on earth. I had an incredible childhood and was beyond lucky to live there. The problems are horrendous and there are a lot of powerful evil people there but there are also wonderful people.
It's also gut-wrenchingly beautiful. When I leave I burst into tears.
In a way the emotion of it is just too much. It's easier not to visit and to stay numb.
When you look at how people act in the US now, I stopped feeling inferior. It's the same. Some people are just the ones who decide to kill the golden goose in hopes of getting 1 more egg for themselves. Some people are willing to ignore all the other signs and bend over for a politician who says the thing they want to hear.
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#348Earlier quoted context omitted.
what the hell... how so?
Well I'm no champion of this theory.. bit skeptical TBH having been shown during some parenting coaching BUT the idea is kids who have a loving, trusting and attentive relationship with their primary care giver will be more likely to trust and seek help from others later in life and vice versa.
Speaking only for myself, I had a loving, trusting relationship with my parents. It was my peers who taught me not to trust (edit: also school administrators).
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#349Earlier quoted context omitted.
Found one! But seriously, if you don't like Freud, you're going to have to come up with a better response than just saying he's a kook; we all know he's a kook! A) Talk therapy was the mode invented by Freud and is still the dominant modality of psychotherapy today, and B) While you didn't mention it but, at the time, Cocaine was in common use as a near magical local anaesthetic and from it we derive procaine, lidoca…
> we all know he's a kook! I still don't know what's the holdup then. Freud constructed narratives as we all do but his were deranged so why bother even mention him as anything other than the butt of the joke?
That you react so strongly is the proof that they touched a nerve. They could be kooky stories that you just forgot about, instead you’re incensed any time anyone mentions him. Why do so many people care about it? That’s the trick.
Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids
#350I don’t have kids. However, this same concept can be applied, and verified, with dogs. I have made it a rule to never deceive my dog, and she trusts me because it. If I pick up her water bowl to refill and clean it while she is in the middle of drinking, I make it a point to always give it back with fresh water. I have several water bowls around the house , and the one in my room only gets refilled when I see she is…
So if your dog required medication, you would never hide the pill in peanut butter for example?
My dog trainer explained this to me like this: trust is like a bank, you build up and store a lot of trust, and sometimes you spend some trust, but if there's a lot banked up it will be fine.
The first day I got my dog, he had parasites in his ears and stomach. We had to force down gross medicines into his ears and his mouth, and he hated it and us for it.
Three years later we have built up so much trust that I clean his ears every bath and he stands still and waits for me to do it. He still hates it, but he trusts me and knows that I'm not trying to hurt him.