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Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

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Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#11

Post by forgotoldacc »

RheingoldRiver wrote: post #4

> Think about Japan, where kids are often taught to wait quietly for meals or gifts Author got the country and items correct but not associated correctly. In Japan, kids pass the marshmallow test with flying colors but fail the same test if it's a gift. In America kids generally pass the gift test (hypothesis is that they're used to waiting for presents on Christmas). source - https://www.scientificamerican.com/artic…

Another thing is there's the difference between getting a guaranteed reward that you want (two marshmallows) vs waiting for the unknown. What good is waiting if a kid could potentially have 15 minutes of fun time with a toy, but they instead wait for two gifts and all they get is a pair of socks?

But I was also a kid who'd beg nonstop to open my presents early. I knew if I opened something early, that was more time with a cool game or something. If I waited, well, that was less time with the cool game. Plus most of the presents weren't interesting. There was just one thing I wanted in particular and the other stuff could be forgotten.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#14

Post by weaksauce »

dochne wrote: post #3
zeristor wrote: post #2

This article mentions the marshmallow experiment. I am confused do people actually like eating marshmallows, if so why? It always seems to be taken as read that they’re irresistible. Why on Earth

I mean, it's asking kids if they want a ball of sugar - that does feel like a pretty sure thing.

i'm not particularly fond of sweets in my adult life but in my child years it was something i loved. i don't know why anyone would think a child wouldn't like a sweet ball of treat

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#15

Post by watwut »

RheingoldRiver wrote: post #4

> Think about Japan, where kids are often taught to wait quietly for meals or gifts Author got the country and items correct but not associated correctly. In Japan, kids pass the marshmallow test with flying colors but fail the same test if it's a gift. In America kids generally pass the gift test (hypothesis is that they're used to waiting for presents on Christmas). source - https://www.scientificamerican.com/artic…

Marshmallow test is one of those things real psychologists (whether practical or science) just do not care all that much about, but pop culture is sure obsessed with it.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#16

Post by watwut »

dochne wrote: post #3
zeristor wrote: post #2

This article mentions the marshmallow experiment. I am confused do people actually like eating marshmallows, if so why? It always seems to be taken as read that they’re irresistible. Why on Earth

I mean, it's asking kids if they want a ball of sugar - that does feel like a pretty sure thing.

Sure, but it is ball of sugar is worst possible form. You can make so many tasty things with sugar ... but someone somehow decided for this.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#17

Post by seszett »

timthorn wrote: post #13

Going off on a tangent, but what's the point of washing an orange?

Maybe in order not to get the (particularly bad, as far as I know) pesticides on your hands? I wash my hands after having peeled an orange, but washing the orange itself seems like a waste to me.

I don't really know. I could understand if it was for zesting, but then you're supposed to use untreated oranges anyway because the pesticides don't wash out easily because of the oils on the orange's skin.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#18

Post by ipnon »

There are no iPad kids in Taiwan. You go to a restaurant and all the toddlers are quietly eating. When the tantrums flare the parents gently put a lid on it. It’s truly remarkable, and I don’t have a good theory for it. But it makes going out for dinner a consistent pleasure.

I don’t know how to raise kids with an even keel but I am certain that putting a nonstop algorithm in their face and becoming outraged when they inevitably become overstimulated is not the way.

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#19

Post by namdnay »

gretch wrote: post #10

People always use the marshmallow test as a sign that the participant can’t delay gratification. But what if they just understand time-value-of-marshmallow. Sometimes marshmallow now is better than marshmallow later.

A marshmallow in the hand is worth two in the bush

Re: Why young parents should focus on building trust with their kids

#20

Post by IncreasePosts »

gretch wrote: post #10

People always use the marshmallow test as a sign that the participant can’t delay gratification. But what if they just understand time-value-of-marshmallow. Sometimes marshmallow now is better than marshmallow later.

Marshmallows in hand have diminishing returns as well. The difference between having 0 marshmallows and 1 marshmallow is much larger than the difference between having 1 and 2, or 2 and 3.
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