Ask HN: how to find a good mentor?

I wouldn't flat out ask people to mentor you, just as you wouldn't ask someone explicitly to become 'close friends' right away - great relationships take time to be developed.

Instead, how about simply asking a more experienced entrepreneur or investor for their advise on your startup. Depending on where you live, you could approach them at local startup events (where are you based?) - offer to buy them lunch or coffee in exchange for their advise. Who knows, ideally one of those might become your startup's first investor - as the not-too-old adage goes, ask for advise to get funding, ask for funding to get advise.

Most people will be flattered if you just genuinely ask them for their opinion and help - the rest has to be developed over time.

You don't need a mentor. You need to start doing interesting things.

When you're doing interesting things you will meet people who are motivated to help you.

People won't take much of an interest in a person who is looking for a mentor but not doing anything.

Stop overthinking this. Establish relationships with other entrepreneurs near you. You can shoot the shit with them when things are good and when things are bad. You'll get introduced to other interesting people.

One day maybe you'll meet the fairy godmother you seem to be seeking, but if you don't you'll have made a start and know some interesting people. And, crucially, you'll be doing something.

Edit: Just saw that you're based in London. Go to the meetups and hackathons and python dojos and LRUG etc.

When a friend of mine moved to New York City, he started reaching out to top-notch designers (there are quite a few there) basically saying "Hey, I'm new to the town, here's what I do, here's what I've done, would you be interested in getting together to talk?" and surprisingly, a few of these people made time in their life to meet him. He has since fostered a relationship with industry leaders and now meets and works closely on side projects with some of the biggest names in design. I'm not saying this will always happen but I think you would be surprised at what people are willing to do if you show motivation. I agree with previous comments that you should be doing interesting things but also be prepared to just share your hopes and goals.

To answer your questions: 1) anywhere 2) yes. yes. 3) I think a good mentor will realize the nature of the relationship. I don't think they're always looking to gain something. 4) no idea.

I'm going to disagree with georgespencer -- not with his perfectly reasonable suggestions, but with the premise that it's not worth seeking out a mentor. On the face of it, nobody "needs" a mentor, but the entire idea behind a mentor is face-to-face networking and advice. In addition, you will be borrowing your mentor's bona fides when you're having lunch with connections you've made via your mentor, and this can go a long way. A friend of mine has Gary Reiner for a mentor -- having that kind of horsepower behind your idea is priceless.

Having said all this, your best bet is to network and seek out introductions. You can't come in "cold", but "lukewarm" is okay, as long as there's a personal connection of some kind to your mentor -- whether it's a shared vision or a shared connection.

ETA: clarity.

How do you find a good spouse? By dating several people.

With mentorship-ask several people for advice. You can basically use cold calls here, many people love advising others. I've used LinkedIn to find experts on a problem I'm facing and ask them for advice, with great results.

Then, more importantly, apply their advice and tell them how it helped. This can be as simple as sending an email afterwards saying "Hey X, your advice on Y helped us in Z way." This is important because 90% of people don't actually act on the advice they receive. By acting on the advice, you make it clear that you actually value what your potential mentor has to say.