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I am rich and have no idea what to do

vinay.sh

621–630 of 1001 posts

Re: I am rich and have no idea what to do

#621
post #3

Same situation, I truly empathise because it really does seem to take a lot of purpose out of everything. What I’ve found is that you need to replace money/salary/financial success optimisation (assuming you spent a lot of your life and energy to this point focused on these, much like I did) with something else totally unconnected with being measured in that way. For me, I am focused on proving myself as a guitarist…

> I’m doing part time consulting, mainly for people I worked with in the past who have started companies, just to scratch the tech itch How do you pick you hourly rate? If a friend of yours of the past came to you and asked you to consult for him, and your friend offered you say $80 USD per hour, would you find it offensively low? For someone who doesn’t have a lot and wants to hire consultants for their small projec…

> How do you pick you hourly rate?

A fair formula that i was given years ago is;

Take the annual salary you would be paid if you were an employee, add 30% to it for overhead/profit and divide by 48 (working weeks in a year) to get your weekly rate. Divide by 40hrs to get the hourly rate.

Another one is to take your annual salary, divide by 250 (working days in a year) to get your daily rate and increase that by 30%, billing in daily units.

The above formula can and should be tweaked based on the project, client, your needs etc.

Re: I am rich and have no idea what to do

#623
post #540

Of course it’s therapy. He should find a good non-rich CBT therapist (just for the sake of not falling prey of rich-man-wive’s leeches type) and start asking questions on why he’s not at ease with the success. Something sabotages it, and that something may be some a random (now obsolete) belief/mode he picked growing up. Uproot obsolete beliefs, these are drivers, not goals. This is absolutely manageable, especially…

> just for the sake of not falling prey of rich-man-wive’s leeches type

pardon?

Re: I am rich and have no idea what to do

#625
What's loom? This app for screen recording?? A terrible product, I personally hated every second of using it, yet my bosses were pissing rainbows and insisted on everyone using it. Congratz on taking a shitload of corporate money in your pocket for this. Truly impressive job! And I'm in a good way envy you.

There is an impression that money made you unhappy, or at least it made you realise something. But you must always remember that loosing everything is just as easy as hard it was to get. Feels like you're really chill and sophisticated guy, but you need to spend more time alone and eventually you'll think these things through

Re: I am rich and have no idea what to do

#626
Using the correct words such as "gratitude" but pretty much missing the point. I no place do you mention you took help or how it affected your pre startup personal life.

If one doesn't have principles based on life meaning, optimizing metrics is a good way of calming down your urges but it the end it does not work. How can you tell it doesn't work? Simply because your feedback loop stops giving you the dopamine response you expect and you need to escalate just to calm down. Far away travels, dangerous actions, more expensive stuff even tried to get into an DOGE without even knowing what the problem with DOGE -smart- thinkers is because philosophy, political science or history apparently hasn't been your life's focus. You still consider it important, that it was a very intelligent group they allowed you in, without figuring out what was wrong with their whole premise. It would be apparent to a first year social sciences student, someone who has visited a Tesla factory o to someone from a country with a sizeable functioning government that has not been a victim of corporate capture for decades.

Money is important, but if I were I would beg my girlfriend back if it was a relationship of feelings, try to reconnect with some friends and family that were probably lost during this multi year grind, people you will be considering as boring because no dopamine. Ask then how they are doing, play with their kids see why they are not boring. Read some Gabor Mate and Irvin Yalom and have just one main goal: Being able after 2-3 years to lie down in the grass for a couple of hours,doing nothing, just looking at the stars, being calm without your nervous system randomly spiking and pushing you towards chaos. Talk to people who don't know you are rich, try to learn from them. Avoid extreme environments.

Currently you describe a nervous system that seems to be taking important decisions for meaningless actions which you then rationalize. Not admitting any mistakes, not failing since there were no goals in the first place other than grinding.

I know that, been there, done that, I am still there, I am not getting out anytime soon either. There are many people in that status, that is not special either.

Re: I am rich and have no idea what to do

#628
Boo fucking hoo. Oh, pity me, I'm rich and sad. What ever will I do with all my money that will make me happy?

You don't need purpose, you need perspective.

Instead of benefiting the billionaire class by working with DOGE to tear down what little safety nets we do have, go volunteer to pack meals or drive a truck at your local food bank. https://www.sfmfoodbank.org/volunteer/

They'll be a lot less judgemental than I am.

Re: I am rich and have no idea what to do

#629
post #73

I don’t think his problem is money. I think his problem is his identity (founder of Loom) suddenly disappeared. Now he needs to develop a new identity. This is especially difficult for single founders without kids (in the sense that people with spouse/kids already derive much of their identity from those 2 things). Selling a company isn’t all that different from going through a divorce (in the sense that your identit…

Probably needs to develop a soul first. NPCs don’t actually exist outside of video games, those are real human beings. Not sure what to do with all that wealth? Try asking one of those NPCs… spend a day with each one of them, learn what being human actually is

> Probably needs to develop a soul first.

More generally, if you cultivate yourself you will get more pleasure from your activities. If you take time to learn an instrument, or listen to classical, or gardening (you can grow exotic plants for example), learn a new language, or anything else. The more you put into refining your appreciation and knowledge, the more value you can get back from your activities. It's a self cultivation problem.

Re: I am rich and have no idea what to do

#630
So, I managed to get in the same situation last year too. Not as much $$$, but still in the 'no longer have to work' and 'my family will never be poor again' camp here.

Honestly, yeah, I feel you man. I'm a bit adrift. I had a bad childhood too. I largely defined myself through my work and effort. I saw other people (mostly older co-workers in my career) as NPCs. I majored in Physics, PHD in neuro. I might get it, I dunno.

But I have a family, and that changes things a lot for me. I have built in 'purpose' in my life that is orthogonal to my 'work life'. So, caveats there. Now, work life comes after kid-time, in terms of priority.

The things that I can say that are different is that I'm finding purpose through others. The way I see it: We're all just naked beach apes on a soggy rock flung through the void, telling stories to each other around the fire.

So, tell the stories that matter.

I.E. get to work trying to help other people. You have the fuck you money now, like me, it would be a shame to not say 'fuck you' a few times. To the people that really need it said to them. This is gonna sound really strange for HN, but, maybe start going to religious services. Generally, religion is there to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. That's maybe something you sound like you need. Shop around for churches/mosques/etc. Unitarian Universalist is the 'church' for atheists, pretty old too, not a 'new' thing. It's good to get into a community that does a lot of volunteer work, FYI.

You said you found an iota of purpose with the DOGE thingy. Maybe try breaking that down a bit for yourself, explore why those feeling came up. You're a go-getter, ready and willing to work hard. It does sound like some sort of public service (define that as broadly as you can) would be good for you, and for all of us.

Still, we're both 'babies' at being rich. It's gonna take some time, maybe longer than we have left, to figure that out for ourselves.

One real thing though: Get your GF back, fast. Grovel. You'll find nothing but gold-diggers now, it's just a fact, I'm so sorry about it. She was there before you were rich (I think I read that right?), you know she's in it for you, not the cash. From what you said, she doesn't mind the hours you work. Or just you in general. That's a tremendous gift. If you want the kids, she's the best path you got for a family you're not paranoid about. Really. Marriage is a market, and you're hot property now, be very careful. Honestly, if you can get her back, fuck that pre-nup shit too. Jump in with both feet, never leave, tie yourself up, make it really hard to go. Your future self will hate you, but that guy's future self will love you.

Best of luck man. Take the time, forgive yourself for dumb shit as you get used to it. Get back to work and say fuck you a bit more for the right reasons. You sound like a chill dude who is trying hard. Keep that vibe.

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