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Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

blog.grubwithus.com

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Re: Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

#51

Post by adavies42 »

jaysonelliot wrote: post #12

I don't want to criticize the post as promotional, because it's the company blog, and it's their job to be talking about themselves. At the same time, I don't think it's a real answer to the NY Times article. You're not going to make friends over one dinner. I've gone to a couple GrubWithUs dinners, and they were great. I met interesting people, had interesting conversations, and even made some new acquaintances. I d…

> For people who want to have real friendships as adults, maybe what we need is some kind of structure in our lives that more closely resembles what people have earlier in life.

If you're willing to dedicate time to a weekly (not monthly, that's not going to work) meetup, that should do it. Otherwise, you're probably stuck with your neighbors and cow-orkers as your only source of new friends....

Re: Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

#54

Post by chewxy »

simonsarris wrote: post #23
jaysonelliot wrote: post #12

I don't want to criticize the post as promotional, because it's the company blog, and it's their job to be talking about themselves. At the same time, I don't think it's a real answer to the NY Times article. You're not going to make friends over one dinner. I've gone to a couple GrubWithUs dinners, and they were great. I met interesting people, had interesting conversations, and even made some new acquaintances. I d…

> You're not going to make friends over one dinner. ... Friendship takes repeated exposure in mundane situations. I agree... so why not host multiple dinners? On your own? I started hosting my own dinners[1] at my house every Wednesday and it's been fantastic. Really super great. I can't advocate it enough, especially for someone introverted like myself who may not want to go out of his way to interact with new peopl…

Wow. You had just what I had in mind. I created Strangers for Dinner to that extent. We've had about 4 dinner parties so far and they were pretty amazing.

The amount of conversation you get with strangers, learning more about different people.

Hope I don't sound too self-promotional, but you can check out Strangers for Dinner: http://strangersfordinner.com

Re: Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

#55

Post by chewxy »

thaumaturgy wrote: post #4

Shucks ... doesn't seem to be a way to see if there's any activity in my area without having to sign up first. I've seen grubwithus come up occasionally but never really checked them out. Another good way to socialize after college is through meetup; meetup's got a pretty big network now, and there will be more clubs and groups in most areas than most people could reasonably hope to be active in. I just picked up a b…

Hey there,

I run Strangers for Dinner, which is like GrubWithUs, except we encourage you to host your own dinner party. We also don't do the groupon thingy that GWU does.

IMO, running your own dinner party is far more satisfying than meeting people for dinner/lunch. I mean, we've had 4 dinner parties in the 2 months we were running, and all 4 had been pretty dang amazing. The level of conversation, the depth, etc.

I personally find it difficult to connect with people, but in a small intimate setting like my house with 5 people, that is where I (and I suspect many others) are comfortable.

Give SfD a try: http://strangersfordinner.com

Re: Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

#56

Post by wallflower »

jaysonelliot wrote: post #12

I don't want to criticize the post as promotional, because it's the company blog, and it's their job to be talking about themselves. At the same time, I don't think it's a real answer to the NY Times article. You're not going to make friends over one dinner. I've gone to a couple GrubWithUs dinners, and they were great. I met interesting people, had interesting conversations, and even made some new acquaintances. I d…

> Friendship takes repeated exposure in mundane situations.

When I've been over at my sisters and they have their good friends over, they sometimes talk about health issues openly (I feel kind of awkward being there). So I think, in my opinion, friendship involves trust that you can talk about something important to you without feeling that you are risking the friendship.

> A few years ago, I took a cross-country road trip with a guy that I met through a mutual friend.

Some of my best friends have been friends of friends. I meet someone and later on I meet one of their friends - and we bond quickly. By meeting more people, you geometrically expand your possibilities. Life is random. You're not going to hit it off with everyone - but the more people you "bounce" off of in your social universe - the better chance of a happy collision. Friendships can decay rapidly - but enjoy the times.

GrubWithUs brings in some planned serendipity.

Re: Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

#57

Post by chewxy »

jaysonelliot wrote: post #12

I don't want to criticize the post as promotional, because it's the company blog, and it's their job to be talking about themselves. At the same time, I don't think it's a real answer to the NY Times article. You're not going to make friends over one dinner. I've gone to a couple GrubWithUs dinners, and they were great. I met interesting people, had interesting conversations, and even made some new acquaintances. I d…

As Simon Sarris mentioned, perhaps a good idea would be to host a dinner party.

I'm currently running Strangers for Dinner (http://strangersfordinner.com). It's a work in progress. But the idea is simple: host a dinner party for someone who share similar interests, maybe engage your guests in the preparation of a dinner party (that's something we've tried and worked)

There is something to the "shared struggle" philosophy of making friends. One of the dinner parties we held, we actually asked our guests to help us make food. I have a very tiny kitchen, and it was difficult to make food with many people in the kitchen. Overcoming this tiny shared struggle, I think we've managed to make friends (of course after the meal we also washed up, and exchanged facebook contacts).

It can be done. I mean, during our first dinner party ever (http://blog.strangersfordinner.com/2012/06/field-report-nasi...), we met a journalist. 2 months on, we're working together on creating press releases for SfD and marketing to mummy bloggers.

Sometimes it's the power of weak connections that you want to harvest. And through working together, you become better friends.

Genuine and real friendships take time. Strangers for Dinner and Grub with Us are merely tools. Use them and use them wisely

Re: Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

#58

Post by wallflower »

simonsarris wrote: post #23
jaysonelliot wrote: post #12

I don't want to criticize the post as promotional, because it's the company blog, and it's their job to be talking about themselves. At the same time, I don't think it's a real answer to the NY Times article. You're not going to make friends over one dinner. I've gone to a couple GrubWithUs dinners, and they were great. I met interesting people, had interesting conversations, and even made some new acquaintances. I d…

> You're not going to make friends over one dinner. ... Friendship takes repeated exposure in mundane situations. I agree... so why not host multiple dinners? On your own? I started hosting my own dinners[1] at my house every Wednesday and it's been fantastic. Really super great. I can't advocate it enough, especially for someone introverted like myself who may not want to go out of his way to interact with new peopl…

Congratulations on leading the dinner parties! That is awesome!

Weird book recommendation that you very well might like - if you are open to it.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2035352.What_French_Women...

Dinner parties are the engine of French social life. It's part of their culture. In such a small country, you have to know someone before you 'date' someone.

In France, dating is something that is just not done. French women throw dinners on Friday to bring together men and women - no such things as 'Girls Night Out'. A guy invited to the dinner cannot expect much - opposite of a date with built-in social expectations - and both parties get to see the person in a real social setting, not an artificial one.

You may find the chapters about just living and the dinner parties interesting.

Re: Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

#59

Post by yequalsx »

chewxy wrote: post #54
simonsarris wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You're not going to make friends over one dinner. ... Friendship takes repeated exposure in mundane situations. I agree... so why not host multiple dinners? On your own? I started hosting my own dinners[1] at my house every Wednesday and it's been fantastic. Really super great. I can't advocate it enough, especially for someone introverted like myself who may not want to go out of his way to interact with new peopl…

Wow. You had just what I had in mind. I created Strangers for Dinner to that extent. We've had about 4 dinner parties so far and they were pretty amazing. The amount of conversation you get with strangers, learning more about different people. Hope I don't sound too self-promotional, but you can check out Strangers for Dinner: http://strangersfordinner.com

Nice website. Would love to check it out but I don't use Facebook. I really don't understand why websites don't have alternative means of creating an account.

It's worth considering that people who are more likely to use such a site might be more introverted than the average person and perhaps less likely to have a Facebook account.

Re: Making Friends Over 30 with Grubwithus

#60

Post by chewxy »

yequalsx wrote: post #59
chewxy wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. You had just what I had in mind. I created Strangers for Dinner to that extent. We've had about 4 dinner parties so far and they were pretty amazing. The amount of conversation you get with strangers, learning more about different people. Hope I don't sound too self-promotional, but you can check out Strangers for Dinner: http://strangersfordinner.com

Nice website. Would love to check it out but I don't use Facebook. I really don't understand why websites don't have alternative means of creating an account. It's worth considering that people who are more likely to use such a site might be more introverted than the average person and perhaps less likely to have a Facebook account.

We actually target INTJ and INTP people for Strangers for Dinner. And yes, we're looking to move away from Facebook, but right now, Facebook has a wealth of information about a user.

Our system can make heuristic guesses (and validate that you're a real person) about your interests by using Facebook, so it's gonna be difficult to replace for the time being.

Sorry about your non-experience with SfD

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