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It's not because of some weird attitude about wasting energy on having a good time. Quite the opposite; once you reach your limit, it becomes wasting mental energy on not having a good time.
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Well too bad ADHD makes me a fast thinker that talks over everyone else and writes code at 6x speed, but only sometimes, when I'm not procrastinating for hours at a time and when I'm not too mentally drained to engage with other people. It makes me an extrovert at work, but only sometimes, and a great team player, but only sometimes. These blog posts feel so dumb to me because they always assume that you're a neuroty…
Can’t imagine this attitude makes work easier for you nor does it make working with you easier. People keep making these “I’m on the spectrum” arguments as if it’s a legitimate excuse for bad behaviour. Perhaps life is more difficult for you in some ways. Life isn’t fair, learning to accept this is much more rewarding than hiding behind some spectrum definition. ADHD doesn’t make you do anything. You choose your life…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I was a fat little kid with a skinny friend who told me the secret to losing weight (which he had never had the need to do): just don't eat so much. He was not gas lighting me in any way. He was just communicating his internal experience that this thing that I found tremendously difficult was in fact trivially easy and I just had to try it. He wasn't lying, just telling me his truth which happened to be false. Don't…
I'd attribute malice when this advice comes from supposedly grown-ups.
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Unhelpful.
> I simply cannot comprehend how something as enjoyable as spending time with people you like can be so mentally taxing?
It's not a perfect analogy, but you might as well blame people for eventually needing to sleep.
It's super enjoyable to be awake. What could possibly make you want to stop what you're doing, only to go into a dark room and do NOTHING for eight whole hours?!
Some people are also tortured by silence, and they simply MUST talk non stop. To other people, never just having a quiet moment is torture. Are you the former? If you never again in your life had two awake seconds without someone talking, would that be heaven or hell?
> I tend to think that it’s because of the attitude that implies that the one has to waste mental energy on having a good time.
You said "I simply cannot comprehend[…]". How about you stick to that, instead of baselessly saying introverts must simply have an attitude problem?
This is a terrible article that reads like an AI generated LinkedIn post. Nevermind the fact that the author isn't using the terms introvert and extrovert correctly; the message is quite ableist. Not everyone can achieve this level of communication in a productive manner. Telling people that management will "prefer" one over the other when it's "budget time" is also dead wrong. I've fired more extroverts than introve…
I think you have good points in your middle paragraph, but I disagree with your first sentence. I can see a growing trend of dismissive "this reads like it's AI-generated" when I frankly think it has been written like that. Author has a similar tone to me. That's my writing style. > Not everyone can achieve this level of communication in a productive manner. Correct, and it sucks. I feel like it's ableist at times to…
It’s quite treacherous to identify yourself with labels: introvert, extrovert, conscientious, conservative, liberal, empathetic, neurodivergent, etc. The act of putting a name on some traits that you have can seem liberating: I finally know what I am, and why I’m different from others, and that’s fine. On the flipside, once you commit to a label, you lock yourself inside it, and instead of describing, it begins shapi…
In a sense, attaching a special label to a particular neurodivergent profile is as problematic as assigning special significance to the "neurotypical" profile.
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Introvert social recipe, mileage may vary
1. Cozy room, moody lighting
2. Nice vinyl (harder to pause ). You'll probably want a print out of the lyrics if applicable
3. Maybe some projected visualizations or visualizations on a TV
4. Vibe
5. Discussion time at the end will vary, but idk, it's still fun to me to sit around cool people and have a mutual experience that doesn't require talking, so that's enough for me. It's also an opportunity to have them suggest a new album to listen to next time, but you also have to accept you might not get immediate feedback because they want to spend more time thinking about it.
Think of basically anything else that doesn't require talking and you can spend time with an introvert doing that. Part of what makes them uncomfortable in social situations is feeling pressure to say something when they have nothing to say. Allow the silence to happen.
You do have to have introvert break out rooms at parties. A sound machine drowns out the noise. No extraverted behavior in the break out room! Extraverts who can't respect the boundary don't get another invitation.
Oh and of course extraverts should know better than anyone that sometimes people just don't like you and that's ok. That's one downside of hanging out with some extraverts... extravert-on-extravert violence is pretty exhausting.
The best thing you can do for comprehending an introvert is realize that not all social interactions have to fit your preconceived notion of what a social interaction is.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can’t imagine this attitude makes work easier for you nor does it make working with you easier. People keep making these “I’m on the spectrum” arguments as if it’s a legitimate excuse for bad behaviour. Perhaps life is more difficult for you in some ways. Life isn’t fair, learning to accept this is much more rewarding than hiding behind some spectrum definition. ADHD doesn’t make you do anything. You choose your life…
Heyyy, take it easy :) Would you call it “bad behavior” when a mute person refuses to speak? Well, A(u)DHD kind of makes one deaf, mute and blind to the standard communication style. That’s why the afflicted prefer to WFH, and text instead of face-to-face. Some are always impaired so, while others, only when tired.
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Consider this: you can’t read facial expressions, nor the tone of the voice. Moreover, most people you interact with misinterpret your face/voice, assuming you’re joking when you’re dead serious (and vice versa). So, you come up with strategies to cope with your deficiencies. Basically, playbooks of what to say if you hear/see so and so, filling the gaps in your sensorium. What’s handled by an “autopilot” for most, i…