three days before xmas in 2022, my partner of 6 years threatened to kill me because i was scared to travel through an ice storm to her mom's house. while she was downstairs getting her pocket knife, i texted her best friend for help and got her to call her and she talked her down. the ice storm prevented any travel for 2 days; we still made it to her moms for xmas, but i was gone mentally for the next year and a half.
broke up with her in may this year; this is my first xmas all alone. all my friends and family moved out of state years ago, and i spent all my vacation days and sick days studying for a coding interview that i had last week for my dream job. i bombed it, partly because of anxiety, partly because ive been procedural programming for 8 years and suck at OOP principles, and partly because the PTSD makes it tough to study/concentrate around xmas.
anyway, im drinking a bottle of mccallan, out here alone with my two cats, and its still a better xmas than the last two years. apologies for trauma dumping, just tipsy i guess.
oh and i did get the oracle java 8 associate cert last night, so i got that going for me, which is nice.
edit:
best xmas memory was playing KOTOR 1 when it came out, while eating a big tub of dansk sugar cookies. that dantooine music was lovely