Live data from Hacker News

Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

carsonogenic.substack.com

151–160 of 296 posts

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#151

I wish someone would find a way to shield us from those topics on Hacker News, the one place that we can go without being flooded with those mundane societal issues and focus on actual technology and science

I agree, and the hackernews demographic are the last group i want to hear from on things like this

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#152

I really hate "traditional values" on account of their peddlers and the history books full of horrors they have enabled but when literally every successful society and major religion has some semblance of a 1:1 rule even if the exceptions and edge case handling are different you kinda gotta take notice.

Chemistry is monogamous. 1 electron. 1 pairing.

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#153

I really hate "traditional values" on account of their peddlers and the history books full of horrors they have enabled but when literally every successful society and major religion has some semblance of a 1:1 rule even if the exceptions and edge case handling are different you kinda gotta take notice.

Chemistry is monogamous. 1 electron. 1 pairing.

In covalent bonds, it's two electrons one pair. Metallic bonds are more polyamorous.

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#154
post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many would argue that there is no such thing as meaningless sex. I’m of the opinion that arguing for the existence of such thing is naive and idiotic.

If it's all meaningful, then it has no meaning. Meaning comes from distinction, the opposite of undifferentiated sex.

Meaning, particularly in this context, can also come from consequences

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#155
There is a new documentary coming out called The Village of Lovers, https://thevillageoflovers.com/. It is about a 40-year intentional polyamorous "free love" community called Tamera in Portugal. It is specifically about non-hierarchal polyamory. And I watched it and I tend to agree with their approach. It seems like the answer to a lot of society's problems honestly.

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#156
post #129
post #13

There is one issue that I have with this article and most discussions around polyamory. That is mixing in open relationships and poly. There is a massive difference between, you can do whatever sexually you want and dating other people. There is an emotional difference. Myself, I am in an open relationship but I know that what I consider poly is a line I do not wish to cross. I know that just it is not for me. I don'…

What does “door ajar” mean? I have seen several references to it but no definition.

The way that my friends have described it.

Neither of them are actively looking, going to events, on apps, etc.

But if an opportunity presents itself with a friend or whatever they have already established that it’s fine.

It’s still open, but it seems the difference is seeking it out vs it just happening.

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hope it’s not too personal, ignore if it is: How many children are you aiming for?

Given that we have this limit and our age, 3 if her health permits. If we could parallelize, one could imagine twice that+.

If you don't mind me asking, how many are you starting with now?

Because three is a lot. And if you're starting from 0 or 1 today, I can't imagine you actually want six.

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#159

I wish someone would find a way to shield us from those topics on Hacker News, the one place that we can go without being flooded with those mundane societal issues and focus on actual technology and science

You can downvote it.

Many hackernews readers have pretty diverse interests though, and want to hear about both tech and general social issues.

Re: Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

#160
post #57
post #30

Fantastic article, but as a monogamous married father of 4, I think the author misses the fundamental point of all relationships... And the point of life itself: Reproduction. The primary drive of every living creature from whales to amoeba is to procreate. Having children is WHY we have a sex drive and an urge to have relationships in the first place. Tons of studies show children require stability in the relationsh…

I feel like the daily experience of relationships in 2024 America is wildly incompatible with the idea that relationships are for reproduction. Our genes may at some level be programmed to conspire to get us to reproduce, but we are (for all intents and purposes) autonomous and free to do that or not as we wish, and to have relationships for whatever reasons we want. There's a bizarre twist of logic going on when you…

You might not be as autonomous as you think. Behavior in this area is mostly driven by instinct and emotion. People just rationalize their actions later.
Post reply on HN