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Always go to the funeral (2005)

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Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#11

Post by aantix »

There's been a lot more reflective, humanity stories on HN.

Or maybe I'm just noticing more.

I've been on HN since 2007.

There was that story a few weeks ago with the aging parents and their daughter that took a picture of them waving goodbye, each year she visited.

I like these stories. It gives me pause and to wonder what it's all been for.

Probably for my kids. My second oldest (9) loves creating levels in Geometry Dash. He'll probably be an engineer.

He asks great questions. He can teach himself new tricks from YouTube videos. He asks for critical feedback on his levels. That's a good start.

I'm just rambling.

Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#12

Post by sellmesoap »

santoshalper wrote: post #5

Do the right thing even when you really don't want to is a valuable lesson, but I'm not sure I believe that the right thing to do is attend funerals for people who you were not actually close to. It feels extremely insincere.

I've gone to the funeral of a community leader who I only met a couple of times, but the stories of their life and seeing how they had touched the people around them was inspiring and I hold those stories dearly and feel the loss of the community. Hardly insincere.

Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#13

Post by AnimalMuppet »

massysett wrote: post #10
santoshalper wrote: post #5

Do the right thing even when you really don't want to is a valuable lesson, but I'm not sure I believe that the right thing to do is attend funerals for people who you were not actually close to. It feels extremely insincere.

It's not just whether you were close to the deceased; it's do you know the survivors. I've attended funerals where I never met the deceased but knew a survivor.

Yeah. Went with my cousin-in-law to his grandmother's funeral. I had maybe met her twice. It wasn't for her. Meant a lot to him, though.

Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#14

Post by khoo »

aantix wrote: post #11

There's been a lot more reflective, humanity stories on HN. Or maybe I'm just noticing more. I've been on HN since 2007. There was that story a few weeks ago with the aging parents and their daughter that took a picture of them waving goodbye, each year she visited. I like these stories. It gives me pause and to wonder what it's all been for. Probably for my kids. My second oldest (9) loves creating levels in Geometr…

I feel like the major life events always put our life span into a perspective that otherwise might be missed or overlooked. It makes life feel shorter than it is.

Btw, which post are you referring to? I am curious to read it as well.

Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#15

Post by lambdaphagy »

Sound advice. Conversely: always have a funeral.

I know several people who expressed a wish not to have a funeral. Sometimes this wish stems from a desire not to be an inconvenience, or a sense of guilt or shame that one's life was not well-lived. Sometimes, simply the view that funerals don't matter, so why bother.

In every case, I think this desire is mistaken. The need to mourn the dead is an instinct older than our species itself, and in dismissing it we wound the people closest to us.

If you're the sort of person to whom the idea of skipping your own funeral sounds tempting, I kindly ask you for the sake of your loved ones that you reconsider.

Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#16

Post by o11c »

> By the time I was 16, I had been to five or six funerals.

Is it just me or does this actually seem kind of low?

They say your social cluster is 150 people, so you should be going to about 2 funerals every year (this ignores age-clustering, but that's counterbalanced by the fact that you often go to funerals slightly outside your cluster and the fact that the cluster changes over time).

Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#17

Post by dennis_jeeves2 »

o11c wrote: post #16

> By the time I was 16, I had been to five or six funerals. Is it just me or does this actually seem kind of low ? They say your social cluster is 150 people, so you should be going to about 2 funerals every year (this ignores age-clustering, but that's counterbalanced by the fact that you often go to funerals slightly outside your cluster and the fact that the cluster changes over time).

>Is it just me or does this actually seem kind of low?

Yes, it's low.

Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#18

Post by lupire »

lambdaphagy wrote: post #15

Sound advice. Conversely: always have a funeral. I know several people who expressed a wish not to have a funeral. Sometimes this wish stems from a desire not to be an inconvenience, or a sense of guilt or shame that one's life was not well-lived. Sometimes, simply the view that funerals don't matter, so why bother. In every case, I think this desire is mistaken. The need to mourn the dead is an instinct older than o…

I don't think a significant number of people have ever written a will that actively prevented a funeral. A funeral doesn't require the deceased. It's fine to skip it.

Re: Always go to the funeral (2005)

#19

Post by lupire »

o11c wrote: post #16

> By the time I was 16, I had been to five or six funerals. Is it just me or does this actually seem kind of low ? They say your social cluster is 150 people, so you should be going to about 2 funerals every year (this ignores age-clustering, but that's counterbalanced by the fact that you often go to funerals slightly outside your cluster and the fact that the cluster changes over time).

Some of us had our family dispatched in bulk, but thanks.
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