I have ADHD as well as a bevy of other stuff - autism, a dissociative disorder and trauma that in bad times meets the criteria for ptsd. To be clear, I have not solved this problem for myself, but I figure it might be helpful to share notes - what may be your solution is inevitably going to be an individual one to you, so maybe with some raw materials to work with you can come up with one.
Mindsets:
- What works best for me is to not think of myself as being impaired, but unfocused. When there is a specific goal in mind that we worked towards for a long time, we organize all the parts of ourselves in order to meet that goal. When that breaks down, its usually because there are key needs that we are not taking care of - maybe thats a need for novelty, maybe thats self-care, maybe thats time to relax. Finding what those needs are and getting them met is the first step.
- Burnout happens because we have needs that are neglected or not taken care of. Discovering what those needs are, and how to recover when they are neglected for a long time can take effort. This ends up breaking structures that were working but unmaintainable.
- "Parts work" works. Blank-mindedness, inability to think in detail, struggling to think in a clear structured way, can often mean that there are internal paradoxes or conflicts. Being able to see that both sides of the paradoxes are correct, or contain truths that the other side doesn't, rapidly resolve these problems. Understanding that you can contain seemingly opposing values and weights simultaneously is the first step to understanding this.
- Confidence has a lot to do with building and recognizing a cohesive identity with yourself. In interviews, its about understanding who you are in the interview room - what your positive traits are, and what you struggle with. Its about being ok with the things that you struggle with and think that its reasonable that you struggle with them. Its about celebrating your positive traits. This is where both ego and anger, long derided, actually helps. Developing an ego helps you build something worth protecting. Anger is a sword and shield that helps your ego stay intact. Your anger at yourself is actually love for yourself stuck in a horrible pattern. Unlearning emotional self-harm as a coping mechanism and building self-compassion is an incredibly tough but also amazingly worthwhile journey.
Note that little of this has to do with ADHD directly, but it is very commonly relevant to most people who grew up neurodivergent or different.
Medications:
- I found that in most ADHD focused spaces, there are a lot of people for whom stimulant medication just works and that is the end of things for them. I find that people with additional problems on top of ADHD often have a harder time with stimulants, due to a high amount of side effects. Try them as a first line, but its also okay if they don't work as they don't work for everyone.
- Beta blockers are cheap, incredibly safe, don't have many interactions or side effects, and are easy to get a prescription for. They block your body's physical panic response. Taking it has been astoundingly positive for me for interviews, any time I'm going to do something I'm stressed about, or when I'm panicking for any reason.
- Anti anxiety meds especially benzo's work for a short bit of time and then hook you on them, and then its difficult to go off of them. They're hard to get perscribed for a reason.
- Alcohol, nicotine, and to some extent weed all mess with your sleep, and make cognitive side effects for at least few days afterwards, up to a month with chronic use, even if you don't feel hung over. If you haven't experienced being off of those for a while, going off of them may help. This is often something you do later when you're feeling up to the task of removing a very real crutch.