How to grow professional relationships

Post by tejaskumar_ » Wed, Dec 04, 2024, 1:52 PM UTC

impendia wrote: post #30

lovich wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Relationships are like a garden, they require continual, repeated effort to maintain. It doesn’t need to be an onerous amount of effort, but reaching out to people to shoot the shit once even a year is often enough to maintain the relationship for professional networks at least. In software we have an unfortunate amount of people who don’t value social connections at all so we end up with a large tranche of people wh…

I think this is tricky. I'm someone who very highly values social connections, but finds it a little bit awkward to just "shoot the shit". I really enjoy interacting with people based on shared experiences, of whatever type -- but as you say, many people really enjoy interactions which are lower-key. You're not wrong, but interacting with others on their terms rather than yours can be a bit challenging at times, and…

Post by carlosjobim » Wed, Dec 04, 2024, 2:12 PM UTC

tejaskumar_ wrote: post #16

mkmk wrote: post #9

On the practical side of things, one important behavior that I see people frequently forget is the importance of following up. This is probably the biggest differentiator between relationships that languish in the early stages, versus those that progress along the author’s continuum. It’s always a bit strange when you only hear from people once every few years, just as they need an intro or career advice or whatever-…

I love this very much and strongly agree: I hate receiving those sheepish catch ups, especially when I anticipate an ask coming. In fact, if I sense I want to make an ask but I haven't spoken with someone in a long time, I just won't ask them for the thing because we don't have that context/rapport yet: it's a way of honoring them. Continuing to make it practical, one thing that has served me well was to maintain a l…

Post by jjice » Wed, Dec 04, 2024, 2:23 PM UTC

mkmk wrote: post #9

On the practical side of things, one important behavior that I see people frequently forget is the importance of following up. This is probably the biggest differentiator between relationships that languish in the early stages, versus those that progress along the author’s continuum. It’s always a bit strange when you only hear from people once every few years, just as they need an intro or career advice or whatever-…

Post by anal_reactor » Wed, Dec 04, 2024, 2:28 PM UTC

blitzar wrote: post #15

mkmk wrote: post #9

On the practical side of things, one important behavior that I see people frequently forget is the importance of following up. This is probably the biggest differentiator between relationships that languish in the early stages, versus those that progress along the author’s continuum. It’s always a bit strange when you only hear from people once every few years, just as they need an intro or career advice or whatever-…

> bit strange when you only hear from people once every few years, just as they need an intro or career advice or whatever This might out me as a psycopath, however, cut to the f'ing chase. If it is a transactional conversation don't insult my intelligence by pretending that it isn't. Obvioulsy this can create a problem as I tend towards "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". If something is within my m…

Post by anal_reactor » Wed, Dec 04, 2024, 2:34 PM UTC

alexpotato wrote: post #4

eleveriven wrote: post #2

Abandoning lost causes can be one of the toughest but most freeing decisions in relationships. I once worked with a colleague who seemed completely resistant to collaboration. No matter how much I tried to engage or find common ground, they kept shutting down any attempt at teamwork. But one day, I realized I was investing so much energy into something that wasn’t going anywhere.

> No matter how much I tried to engage or find common ground, they kept shutting down any attempt at teamwork. This reminds me of a story from when I was in business school. We were assigned groups for project work and it was very difficult if not impossible to transfer out of a group. This was by design b/c the point was to teach the students to deal with interpersonal issues and group dynamics. My friend was in a g…