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You can then split your contribution into the necessary (stemming from his inability to handle disagreements) and unnecessary parts (stemming from you being a prick or a bad communicator) to determine how guilty to feel.
Though I do relate to Dave, being someone who likes boring and simple solutions to business problems, while being pushed into solutions that seem overly complex and stressful for no good reason other than someone's ego and ladder climbing. This does cause me a good deal of stress, but that's on me to find a healthy perspective and ways to deal with it, since I'm not in a position to change the overall situation (short of finding a new job).
Source: https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress...
No... "Things got heated" and "We clashed a lot" implies negative emotions. Are you paid for that? If you aren't you shouldn't suffer it.
At a gig a long time ago they were using Pokémon Exception Handing (look it up) everywhere. I pointed out that that was extremely bad practice and showed them sources that explained in detail why it was terrible. They said "We're doing it this way anyway." I said "Fine, but do I have to use it in the code I'm responsible for?" They said "No" and that was that (had they said "Yes" I would have resigned).
You can't change the past and there is no point in feeling guilty for something you didn't do. But for your own sake you might want to change your approach to work-life because it may not be healthy.
That sounds like a troll posting in his name. So many people out there that revel in causing pain. Particularly the deleted-account trick, so you can't investigate. As for his colleague - he'd dealt with younger programmers with new ideas before, you weren't the first or only. And, his life was his own - he owned his emotional state, his responses. You were no more responsible for that than a missed bus, or any other…
If they were this bad at taking responsibility for the stress in their life with regard to you, imagine how bad they were at handling all the other, more basic and visceral, sources of stress they experienced and refused to take ownership over in their life.
They could write a hundred such messages to people they interacted with (and probably did?).
That sounds like a troll posting in his name. So many people out there that revel in causing pain. Particularly the deleted-account trick, so you can't investigate. As for his colleague - he'd dealt with younger programmers with new ideas before, you weren't the first or only. And, his life was his own - he owned his emotional state, his responses. You were no more responsible for that than a missed bus, or any other…
More than troll posting it's probably a scam.
I got off the phone scared shitless, barely slept that night googling my legal liability and searching for lawyers.
Someone I know suggested it might be a prank, so I called the legal team at the company and they had no clue what I was talking about. It was a troll. Never did quite figure out who was behind it, but the moral of the story is people can be mean sometimes and troll you just for kicks.
That sounds like a troll posting in his name. So many people out there that revel in causing pain. Particularly the deleted-account trick, so you can't investigate. As for his colleague - he'd dealt with younger programmers with new ideas before, you weren't the first or only. And, his life was his own - he owned his emotional state, his responses. You were no more responsible for that than a missed bus, or any other…
More than troll posting it's probably a scam.