There's tonnes of worthless merchandise and supplements of a dubious nature which The Onion, the least expected of all possible buyers, now has to find a use for. My first suggestion would be melting down all of the 500% marked up gold bars[0] and make a one-time-run charity auction collectible for the Sandy Hook families. Or upcycling all the paper in Alex Jones' books [1] into paper mache, and use it to make globes…
>> make a one-time-run charity auction collectible for the Sandy Hook families They've got $1.5billion. Probably don't need the gold as well. There might be equally valid causes with less funds.
The Onion buys Infowars
171–180 of 1001 posts
Re: The Onion buys Infowars
#172Tim Onion's (Ben Collins) statement on Bluesky: [0] > Hi everyone. > The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars. > We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website. > We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off. > I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up. Next post: [1] > Does anybody need millions of dollars worth of…
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:x4qyokjtdzgl7gmqhsw4ajqj/po...
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:x4qyokjtdzgl7gmqhsw4ajqj/po...
Re: The Onion buys Infowars
#173Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don’t think effective government is founded on the basis of lolz.
Haven't you seen the DOGE department yet?
How do you make government smaller?
Step 1: Make government bigger by inventing a new department!
(Strictly speaking, it's not a government department. It is a private entity that will operate outside the government, and influence the president. What could possibly go wrong?)
Re: The Onion buys Infowars
#174Earlier quoted context omitted.
Honest question: what threats did Jones make against them? I understood that he claimed it was a hoax/conspiracy, not that he had made any threats. Not even sure how he could make threats against people he didn't believe were real.
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Re: The Onion buys Infowars
#175The announcement by America's Finest News Source: https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/ Alex Jones response: https://x.com/RealAlexJones/status/1857058831135645739
On a whim, I decided to peek at the InfoWars homepage. At this moment, I cannot determine which of the headlines are genuine InfoWars content and which are the product of Onion writers. (I assume it's genuine due to the recency of the sale closing?)
Re: The Onion buys Infowars
#176The current speculation by the right-o-sphere that Alex Jones is about to be appointed the Trump press secretary is apt for the moment where Trump seems to have made his nominations on the basis of how much they will disturb the left. It's hard to imagine anyone that could be more effective at achieving that than Jones.
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Okay, but really... If you're going to criticize, can we at least make valid analogies?
Re: The Onion buys Infowars
#177Funny concept. Shame that The Onion's writing these days so mid.
I think the Babylon Bee has been a good replacement.
The Onion will go down in history as one of the most influential satire projects of all time, and is filled with genuinely talented writers and comedians. Even their early Youtube work was prescient and brilliant.
They aren't even playing the same game.
Re: The Onion buys Infowars
#178Earlier quoted context omitted.
Calling Sandy Hook a hoax and harrassing grieving parents is not "the right to be wrong".
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Re: The Onion buys Infowars
#179The current speculation by the right-o-sphere that Alex Jones is about to be appointed the Trump press secretary is apt for the moment where Trump seems to have made his nominations on the basis of how much they will disturb the left. It's hard to imagine anyone that could be more effective at achieving that than Jones.
I don’t think effective government is founded on the basis of lolz.