As Yogi Berra said:
Always go to people's funerals, so they'll come to yours.
Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
21–30 of 35 posts
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#22 # A tragedy has befallen all mankind
Robert Edwin House, 261, President, CEO, and sole proprietor of the New Vegas Strip, industrialist and technologist, founder, President, and CEO of the multi-billion-dollar pre-war robotics and software corporation, RobCo Industries, has died.
Generally recognized by Mr. House to be mankind's only hope of long-term survival, Mr. House's passing may well sound a death knell for the entire human race.
Lost forever is his bounty of knowledge concerning human longevity, the depth and breadth of which could, as he was apt to say, "fill several text books." He was not exaggerating. Though he did not achieve his goal of functional immortality, let us not forget that he died at the age of 261. How many people do that? I mean, come on.
Also lost forever are House's singular personality, force of will, vision, and leadership ability. The probability of an equally capable figure emerging from the current human population to lead mankind to a future of equivalent quality is less than 0.000112% by objective measures too complex to detail in this obituary.
Personality and force of will: Born June 25th, 2020, House was orphaned at an early age when his parents died in a freak accident (auto gyro, lightning). Though cheated of his inheritance, House attended the prestigious Institute in Massachusetts and founded RobCo Industries on his 22nd birthday. Within five years, it was one of the most profitable corporations on Earth.
Vision: By 2065, House was certain that an atomic war would soon devastate the planet. At great personal expense, he developed technologies to ensure the structural integrity of the city of Las Vegas (as it was known at the time). On the day of the great war, 77 atomic warheads targeted the city. Mr. House defeated them all. Talk about vision!
Leadership: Mr. House survived the war, of course, and would later recruit the Three Families, negotiate the Treaty of New Vegas, and rebuild the Vegas Strip. While these achievements yielded many immediate benefits, they were all part of House's master plan to re-ignite mankind's quest for technological advancement, a plan without which the human race has nowhere to go, and nowhere to turn.
/// Will revise and finish this up later. Have set the age at death to update automatically. Obit makes salient points but "pearls before swine," of course. Let's hope the ingrates never have cause to read it. Who knows how many of them are even literate!Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#23I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
My grandfather was a newspaper journalist all his life. When he retired, he took a side-gig back with the paper updating obituaries.
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#24I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
> draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated I was responsible for doing this for a news radio network 30 years ago. Mostly I was able to stay on top of things, but Princess Diana really ruined my weekend. No-one was ready for that one.
I'm very curious to know if you had an obituary written up for Princess Diana already, or did you only have them written up for celebrities that were "at risk"?
Was there any kind of cutoff in terms of age? Were there obituaries maintained for child actors and singers? So many questions but it's a very interesting topic!
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#25I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
When watching the updated Shōgun, I was struck by how absolutely casual everyone was, about death; both the death of others, and their own.
I assume that was a cultural trait of the time. It does not seem to be so much so, these days.
I was raised in Africa, and was quite familiar with death -frequently violent death, at an early age.
We live in privileged times, where we have the luxury of not thinking about death.
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#26I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
In Bulgaria walls like this one are really common.
https://bg.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%9D%D0%B5%D0%BA%D1%80%D0%BE...
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#27I think there's something even better you can do. Write a nice summary of other people you care about, not an obituary, but a summary of your perspective of them, and send it to them. Perhaps while they are still alive, so they can actually enjoy the nice things you think about them. Ask yourself this: if you wrote as much nice things you could about a good friend, how much of it do you think your friend would know t…
It's tempting, but with my mental state as it is, if I suddenly start complimenting people, they'll ask if I'm doing okay That is my literal answer to why I don't do it
This can't be a serious comment. Is your mental state NPD?
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#28I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
When watching the updated Shōgun , I was struck by how absolutely casual everyone was, about death; both the death of others, and their own. I assume that was a cultural trait of the time. It does not seem to be so much so, these days. I was raised in Africa, and was quite familiar with death -frequently violent death, at an early age. We live in privileged times, where we have the luxury of not thinking about death.
When I lived in Sierra Leone, a common Christmas carol translated to "Merry Christmas, we didn't die".
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#29I update "upon my death" letters to my loved ones every year. It's a sobering exercise that brings me great peace and, I hope, will bring them great peace too.
I really like this idea! Could you share more about your letters?
What sorts of things do you include? I assume different topics for different people. Do the loved ones know that these letters exist?
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#30I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
In Bulgaria walls like this one are really common. https://bg.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%9D%D0%B5%D0%BA%D1%80%D0%BE...
For anyone interested in these, I visited Bulgaria last year and wrote about them: