Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
nytimes.com
Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
1–10 of 35 posts
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#2Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#3I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries.
When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death.
At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their obitary drafts: using features like age, popularity, rate of change.
It is a healthy practice not to ignore/block out death but to make it part of one's life; society forgot that in recent decades (e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning).
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#4I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
> e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning
What was this practice called? It sounds interesting.
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#5I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
> e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning What was this practice called? It sounds interesting.
In Ireland, they are called a wake.
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#6I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
> e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning What was this practice called? It sounds interesting.
I couldn't quite follow the wording, but it sounded like open-casket visitation, but at home instead of a funeral home.
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#7I like reading (esp. Observer and Economist) and writing obituaries. When I was working for Reuters, I saw how they have draft obituaries ready for all living celebrities, which have to be constantly updated -- until folks actually pass away. The purpose is to be able to post obituaries within seconds after a person's death. At some point I designed an API for them to order people by the "update-worthiness" of their…
> e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning What was this practice called? It sounds interesting.
Possibly “visitation” in the American south, unless I’m misremembering or misinterpreting the parent comment.
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#8Earlier quoted context omitted.
> e.g. we no longer keep the departed at home for relatives to get used to the fact that they are no longer alive, but still be able to look at them when mourning What was this practice called? It sounds interesting.
In Ireland, they are called a wake. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wake_(ceremony)
That Wikipedia page says viewings are basically the same as a wake. Are viewings not common in the U.S? They're common in Utah.
When my dad died, before the viewing there was the period right after death where my siblings and I sat in the room with his body and talked until the mortuary picked him up.
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#9Earlier quoted context omitted.
In Ireland, they are called a wake. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wake_(ceremony)
That Wikipedia page says viewings are basically the same as a wake. Are viewings not common in the U.S? They're common in Utah. When my dad died, before the viewing there was the period right after death where my siblings and I sat in the room with his body and talked until the mortuary picked him up.
My suspicion is that the proliferation of cremation has significantly reduced the incidence of wakes. That, and US American society has so much functional separation that most of us probably interact very little with the elderly, thus also not ending up at many funerals.
Re: Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year
#10> I also came to understand that most people outside our house could not tolerate talking much about death, especially their own.
I'm happy to see these kinds of articles show up from time to time on HN because, despite what I quoted from the article here, I do want to talk more about death and its finality, life's brevity.
These posts make their way to the front page often enough too that I am sure I am not alone.
I think the U.S., culturally, does not deal enough with the idea that we are all just sharing the stage for so a short time before exiting.
I've been atheist since I was maybe seven or so so I can't speak for people brought up with deep ties to religion — just that, for myself, the inevitability of death seems to creep in and has shaped all aspects of my life, how I have lived my life. At times I think I am grateful for it. At times I think this has allowed me to repeatedly reevaluate what is important in life when I might be otherwise spiraling into a routine of, I don't know, hedonism?
At other times though I wonder if it has not also been a burden. I wonder how I would see each day if, perhaps like a spider or something, I just was each day.