Not 100% the same use case as autossh was built for maybe, but I'm now simply throwing tailscale on every box i need to interact with. Does away with all the port forwarding stuff, it's absolutely delightful.
How much reliance on third party am I subjecting myself by using Tailscale? What happens if I make a local connection to a machine/service running on Tailscale, does it still go out of the local network? If so, is the bulk of the payload transferred locally? Is there any advantage on using it if the machine/service is easily accessible over ipv6?
It will be encrypted through the VPN, so there will be some overhead. But will be as direct as it can be. It only routes through tailscales servers as a last resort, when it can’t find a direct route at all (usually because NAT holepunching fails somehow). Their “DERP” relay servers just relay the encrypted connection. I think you can use your own relay servers, but I don’t know if that feature can be disabled entirely.
Headscale can be entirely self-hosted. It still uses the tailscale client applications- but is compatible.