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Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

latimes.com

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Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#101
post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's what I used to say, until I ran out of spare bedrooms, and the tunnel of carefully stacked old computers collapsed on me. Luckily I escaped and was able to buy a 32 TB NAS which is now 1% full of early 2000s disk images. Now it's just me, a NAS, and a mattress on the floor. I'm never going back.

but what do you do for heating now?

[deleted]

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#102
post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's what I used to say, until I ran out of spare bedrooms, and the tunnel of carefully stacked old computers collapsed on me. Luckily I escaped and was able to buy a 32 TB NAS which is now 1% full of early 2000s disk images. Now it's just me, a NAS, and a mattress on the floor. I'm never going back.

but what do you do for heating now?

mine bitcoins - on the NASL

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#103
post #4

A related mental trick I use to move on from some mistake I'm stuck on is to think the following: In the future, I will make another mistake, and I will be regretting that instead of this. So I should focus on the present and the future, and try to identify and avoid that mistake (pick a different future!), rather than obsessing over the past. It's incredibly obvious, of course, but going through the exercise of thin…

Even better is to just focus on the here and now. The past cannot be changed and the future is just a mental construct, both can cause anexity and endless thinking.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#104
post #71
post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reminds me of "Anxiety Is the Dizziness of Freedom" by Ted Chiang. It's part of his 2019 collection Exhalation: Stories . In this story, people use a device called a *Prism*, which allows them to communicate with alternate versions of themselves in different quantum realities. The Prisms create a split in reality when activated, connecting two timelines that diverge from the moment the device is used. People can talk…

Has the overbearing tone of painfully detailed world building with very little narrative power I've come to expect from Chiang. Guy has cool ideas but really likes to describe how cool his ideas are in detriment of telling a compelling story.

Hmm, to me the worlds draw me in as soon as my eyes hit the paper, I love the world building, the detailed description, it make the whole reading experience so much richer for me.

It's like Peter F Hamilton, his stories are insane in length but you almost feel like you experienced the book, and what it is like to live in that world.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#105
One thing I tell myself: a lot of mistakes I made when I was younger - or things that I regret others having done to me - if they hadn’t happened, it is almost certain I would not have had the children I do. Sure, I might have still had children - but I wouldn’t have had these children. These kids, and those regrets, are a package deal. So in loving them and saying “Yes” to their existence, I have to say “Yes” to those regrets too, which are necessary to their existence.

I got this idea from reading Nietzsche’s Thus Spake Zarathustra, although it is my own personal spin on some of his ideas.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#106
The actual study: Reeck, C., & LaBar, K. S. (2024). Reining in regret: emotion regulation modulates regret in decision making. Cognition and Emotion, 1–8. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699931.2024.2357847

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02699931.2024.2...

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#107
This assumes people’s regret focus on things they did by applying sound logic which had undesirable outcomes. And in those situations it’s a no brainer to apply this framework

The ones that are harder are where you regret something that occurred as a result of not applying logic. There, you need to learn how to cut yourself slack, understand the context you existed in at the time, and acknowledge that you’re a better person who has learned from it.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#108
post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Has the overbearing tone of painfully detailed world building with very little narrative power I've come to expect from Chiang. Guy has cool ideas but really likes to describe how cool his ideas are in detriment of telling a compelling story.

Hmm, to me the worlds draw me in as soon as my eyes hit the paper, I love the world building, the detailed description, it make the whole reading experience so much richer for me. It's like Peter F Hamilton, his stories are insane in length but you almost feel like you experienced the book, and what it is like to live in that world.

I find hard to dive into contrived realities. A good story with hints of a larger complicated world in which it happens is in my opinion much more enjoyable than painstakingly describing everything.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Exploiting for profit -- That sounds exactly like what some religious structures are doing. Perhaps "fun" for them, but bad for the ones exploited.

I am an atheist but it's preposterous to dismiss the fact that a vast number of people find healing in organized or individualized religion. Or to suggest that the sole purpose of religion is exploitation for profit.

> Or to suggest that the sole purpose of religion is exploitation for profit.

Which is not what I did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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