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Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

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Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#91
post #68
post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Living a healthy life requires discipline and a certain amount of humility. Both of those traits are hard to maintain after a financial windfall IMO.

Elon Musk is living proof of this.

I feel compelled to ask: what side of that outcome do you think Musk exemplifies?

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I almost wrote this: > I disagree. The best thing to do to avoid regrets is to act, to take the step forward. Not to resign ourselves and diminish ourselves hoping to soften the nastiness the world is sending us. > Stoicism is good when you are being tortured (hello John McCain), when you are in the final stage of incurable illness, when you are a slave (hello Epictetus edit: oops, I meant Epictus) and have no agency…

> when you are a slave (hello Seneca) and have no agency. It seemed to serve Marcus Aurelius (hello Emperor) quite well. Stoicism is strongly tied to duty, to ones self, to ones family, and to ones nation.

(oops, I meant Epictetus)

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#93
post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I dunno you can always drink beer and speed around in a Ford Fiesta. Irresponsibly is free.

You can drink a lot more beer if you don't have to show up for work.

I think that’s what it is. Unemployment, and especially a lack of opportunities, can be dangerous whether it’s because there are no available jobs where you are or it’s because you made 20m in bitcoin when you were 22 and don’t know what to do with it.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#94

I think I had a huge lesson early on in life where I generated a huge amount of bitcoin in 2009 on some old pentium 4 CPU (you could do that back then!) and would have basically won the lottery if I hadn't basically just given it away to a friend of mine who was trying to do something (Which ended up being getting scammed by that butterfly labs scheme)... That friend ended up probably one of the most anxious people I…

how much is huge? thousands? I know it was easy back then to generate btc. You probably would have sold them at $10 or something ,congratulated yourself, and then felt massive regret anyway

I'm guessing the reward was 50btc per block back then, so they might have mined a single or double digit number of blocks, so somewhere between 50 and 4999 btc.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#95

The best advice I've read about avoiding regrets was in “A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy” by William B. Irvine. William B. Irvine has an entire chapter dedicated to it titled; Fatalism. The basic approach of the Stoics was that the past (and present) should be viewed fatalistically; fate would have it so, and therefore there is no rational (again a key word for the Stoics) reason to regret this…

It sounds to me like you convince yourself there was no other way. It's an interesting dilemma - lie to yourself that it was fate and live a happy life, or torture yourself with the consequences of the truth.

I like the advice of the article better - approach every decision knowing not all of them will work out. It's what I ended up in the last couple years and it has worked ot out for me. Fear of failure can paralyze you and this will cause even more regrets. The advice doesn't help with old regrets though - for this it boils down to, for me: dwell and die slowly or forgive yourself for making a mistake and move on with your life. Can't change the past, but you can change the future.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#96

My whole life is regret and I found the article very insightful. I heard a religious quote that I wish I could remember: it's better to earn gold along the way by investing in relationships than to bet it all on a gold mine. As a hacker trying to win the internet lottery since.. 1992-ish, I put all of my eggs in one basket most of the time, and I've been part of at least a dozen ventures that all failed. It's like fl…

Hey Zack just checked out your linked-in and honestly it would be worth contacting a professional resume specialist. You have a double Bachelor in CS/EE and tons of relevant experience. A wordsmith could make you look like gold on paper. Grab the book ‘Cracking the Coding Interview’, do some leetcod practice. If you can grab a couple Google Cloud certs great and/or build a web app with the latest version of Angular, Next.js, whatever so you can update your tech stack perfect. Not sure why you believe C++ is not relevant anymore the concepts have not changed only the syntax.

Like others have said, just some random on the internet, but at a minimum seriously find a wordsmith to update that resume and some recruiter will be contacting you. Also, more is not better no need to list the Test Tech or Mac Repair since other jobs overlap with those years and makes it seem like you were only part time. Everyone fibs a little bit no one is going to ask if you were part time or full time on a job from 20 years ago. Also, if you have self-employed listed make sure you have the tax# and LLC cert from the state as they are going to want to see that as proof to count as relevant experience.

I know you did not ask for my advice, but after reading your reply got me curious about why so gloom. As programmers we need to market ourselves and fake it till, we make it.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#97

The best advice I've read about avoiding regrets was in “A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy” by William B. Irvine. William B. Irvine has an entire chapter dedicated to it titled; Fatalism. The basic approach of the Stoics was that the past (and present) should be viewed fatalistically; fate would have it so, and therefore there is no rational (again a key word for the Stoics) reason to regret this…

It sounds to me like you convince yourself there was no other way. It's an interesting dilemma - lie to yourself that it was fate and live a happy life, or torture yourself with the consequences of the truth. I like the advice of the article better - approach every decision knowing not all of them will work out. It's what I ended up in the last couple years and it has worked ot out for me. Fear of failure can paralyz…

Its not that they won't work out, it's that uncertainty at the time of the decision justifies it. Some then get lucky and others dont and most land in between. You did the best you could given the information at the time. There is then nothing to regret.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#98
post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Elon Musk is living proof of this.

I feel compelled to ask: what side of that outcome do you think Musk exemplifies?

I'm surprised by the question. He isn't humble by any stretch of the imagination.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#99
post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I dunno you can always drink beer and speed around in a Ford Fiesta. Irresponsibly is free.

You can drink a lot more beer if you don't have to show up for work.

I don't, and the worst I've been doing dancing for a whole weekend, staying awake until I get visual hallucinations. If I was 20, I would've played video games and worked on software side projects all day. That's what I was doing for the first 6 months of not going to work, after all. But it does depend on the person.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#100
post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Early 20s is when people peak at risk taking behavior. Add a large amount of money into the mix and the types of risks can go way up. Think go from sitting around playing beer pong, to doing coke and speeding around in a Ferrari. Even later in life, large amounts of money can cause people to do stupid things (see many famous people), but maturity has a chance then.

I dunno you can always drink beer and speed around in a Ford Fiesta. Irresponsibly is free.

If you have enough money you can become more reckless because you don't worry about paying for fines or damage. Also coke makes you more reckless and it's not cheap.
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