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Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

latimes.com

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Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#61

Post by teekert »

jamal-kumar wrote: post #10

I think I had a huge lesson early on in life where I generated a huge amount of bitcoin in 2009 on some old pentium 4 CPU (you could do that back then!) and would have basically won the lottery if I hadn't basically just given it away to a friend of mine who was trying to do something (Which ended up being getting scammed by that butterfly labs scheme)... That friend ended up probably one of the most anxious people I…

Reminds me of "Anxiety Is the Dizziness of Freedom" by Ted Chiang. It's part of his 2019 collection Exhalation: Stories.

In this story, people use a device called a *Prism*, which allows them to communicate with alternate versions of themselves in different quantum realities. The Prisms create a split in reality when activated, connecting two timelines that diverge from the moment the device is used. People can talk to their alternate selves in these parallel universes, and this communication brings up complex philosophical questions about free will, decision-making, and identity.

Chiang explores the emotional and ethical implications of interacting with alternate versions of one's life, focusing on how people cope with the knowledge of the different paths their lives might have taken.

-> thanx Chat.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#62

Post by tomcam »

l5870uoo9y wrote: post #45

The best advice I've read about avoiding regrets was in “A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy” by William B. Irvine. William B. Irvine has an entire chapter dedicated to it titled; Fatalism. The basic approach of the Stoics was that the past (and present) should be viewed fatalistically; fate would have it so, and therefore there is no rational (again a key word for the Stoics) reason to regret this…

My wife grew up in the Cultural Revolution. I grew up in an unsafe and disordered environment. When I made peak money we spent a lot on awesome experiences, then saved a good chunk. Instead of making payments on a house in the kind of enclave where pro athletes lived, we paid cash in a FAANG neighborhood. Both of us have zero expectations about the future. We have no debt and I retired comfortably but not too lavishly. Our farmhouse is not beautiful but we can afford a good health plan.

We both understood sunk costs from the beginning. We know governments love to take things. Of course we could have saved more. But the people I grew up with are dead or homeless addicts. Many of the people she grew up with were destroyed or disappeared by the government. If catastrophe strikes, and we have to move to a shoebox outside of Cleveland, that’s what we’ll do.

Fatalism has worked out well for us. We are exceptionally fortunate to think congruently on those matters.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#63

Post by tomcam »

alexey-salmin wrote: post #13
dilap wrote: post #4

A related mental trick I use to move on from some mistake I'm stuck on is to think the following: In the future, I will make another mistake, and I will be regretting that instead of this. So I should focus on the present and the future, and try to identify and avoid that mistake (pick a different future!), rather than obsessing over the past. It's incredibly obvious, of course, but going through the exercise of thin…

> In the future, I will make another mistake, and I will be regretting that instead of this. Why not regret all of them? I'm yet to see my capacity for regrets get saturated

This was Mark Twain-level funny

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#64

Post by digging »

hunter-gatherer wrote: post #24
paulpauper wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

how much is huge? thousands? I know it was easy back then to generate btc. You probably would have sold them at $10 or something ,congratulated yourself, and then felt massive regret anyway

This was my experience with litecoin. I bought some back in the day when it was < $1 from my minimum wage job and sold it all when it "skyrocketed" to somewhere above $1. In the end I made a few thousand dollars and thought pretty good about it. Only a couple years later when it touched (if I recall correctly) close to $300 did I have regrets. Oh well.

There's almost no way to make really good decisions with crypto anyway. The people who held on to early gains often think themselves geniuses but they were acting entirely on unfounded faith, like everyone else.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#65

Post by kiloshib »

Fraterkes wrote: post #27
jamal-kumar wrote: post #10

I think I had a huge lesson early on in life where I generated a huge amount of bitcoin in 2009 on some old pentium 4 CPU (you could do that back then!) and would have basically won the lottery if I hadn't basically just given it away to a friend of mine who was trying to do something (Which ended up being getting scammed by that butterfly labs scheme)... That friend ended up probably one of the most anxious people I…

I don't mean to pry but I often see people make statements along the lines of 'if Id been rich when I was younger I wouldve died' and I never quite get it. Just drugs stuff?

[dead]

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#66

Post by anthonyrstevens »

layer8 wrote: post #30
dilap wrote: post #4

A related mental trick I use to move on from some mistake I'm stuck on is to think the following: In the future, I will make another mistake, and I will be regretting that instead of this. So I should focus on the present and the future, and try to identify and avoid that mistake (pick a different future!), rather than obsessing over the past. It's incredibly obvious, of course, but going through the exercise of thin…

The biological purpose of regretting past actions is to avoid them in the future, though.

Are we sure about that?

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#67

Post by anthonyrstevens »

adammarples wrote: post #18
dilap wrote: post #4

A related mental trick I use to move on from some mistake I'm stuck on is to think the following: In the future, I will make another mistake, and I will be regretting that instead of this. So I should focus on the present and the future, and try to identify and avoid that mistake (pick a different future!), rather than obsessing over the past. It's incredibly obvious, of course, but going through the exercise of thin…

Our brains are machines for trying to avoid future mistakes, and doubling down on focusing on them isn't ideal. It's good that at least you're not also tying them to the past, which is doomed, but that's not what the future has to be. It's better not to focus on fears and let the possibility of the future open up instead.

I think I could make a good argument that our brains are machines for repeating past mistakes. Interesting to think about the opposite sides of the argument.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#68

Post by copperx »

johnrob wrote: post #38
Fraterkes wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't mean to pry but I often see people make statements along the lines of 'if Id been rich when I was younger I wouldve died' and I never quite get it. Just drugs stuff?

Living a healthy life requires discipline and a certain amount of humility. Both of those traits are hard to maintain after a financial windfall IMO.

Elon Musk is living proof of this.

Re: Tortured by regrets? A new study details how best to overcome them

#70

Post by johnchristopher »

tomcam wrote: post #62
l5870uoo9y wrote: post #45

The best advice I've read about avoiding regrets was in “A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy” by William B. Irvine. William B. Irvine has an entire chapter dedicated to it titled; Fatalism. The basic approach of the Stoics was that the past (and present) should be viewed fatalistically; fate would have it so, and therefore there is no rational (again a key word for the Stoics) reason to regret this…

My wife grew up in the Cultural Revolution. I grew up in an unsafe and disordered environment. When I made peak money we spent a lot on awesome experiences, then saved a good chunk. Instead of making payments on a house in the kind of enclave where pro athletes lived, we paid cash in a FAANG neighborhood. Both of us have zero expectations about the future. We have no debt and I retired comfortably but not too lavishl…

> Fatalism has worked out well for us.

Why didn't she stay in China ? Why did you leave that unsafe and disordered environment ?

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