Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

   All happy families are alike;
   each unhappy family is unhappy 
   in its own way.

I have a pretty clear idea of how and why my childhood was the way it was. I could stretch and analog my lived experiences to fit the questions.

Gifted has been bullshit in the water where I swim for a long time. Invisible. Dissolved. Gifted was a reason to be othered. Formally. Informally. By institutions, neighbors, family.

The ACE questions were useful to me this morning. As a starting point. I’d forgotten how being labeled gifted actually felt. Worse things have happened to other people. I am not competing. Good luck.

I’d say the biggest struggle hasn’t been financial independence, overcoming a rough childhood, or getting out of rural hell - it’s been dating. That was set in stone by my genetics being such trash. I’m 34 and only ever had one partner who would only stay with me on the condition that I paid for everything and would receive no emotional support.

By most measures, I am far more successful than most people you’d meet but I consider myself one of the least successful people because all I’ve ever wanted is for someone to love me and to build a loving family. Life is cruel.

I don’t know this test is very good, but my score was 7

My situation was not great, but I had many neighbors and friends in school with far worse situations.

I think, and have come to believe that, a difficult upbringing has many benefits in later life .

1. You know right from wrong, you’ve seen wrong 2. Empathy comes easier to you 3. You know exactly what you don’t want your life to look like 4. You value opportunity 5. You aren’t scared of people who have less wealth than you - further, you can figure out, quickly, who is poor but ambitious to improve their life, or poor and doesn’t care about anything. 6. Drugs are pure EVIL

All of my siblings have excellent careers now and excellent family lives, we all have wonderful spouses and there are 17 grandchildren with 1 more on the way!

I had over 1 million in net worth at 35. This continues to improve but doesn’t matter to me anymore, that was my milestone.

I don’t do scams, I don’t rip people off, I don’t do work or take money to help others accomplish dishonest goals. I am comfortable working alone or in groups. In groups took a lot of work.

Please, believe in the power of positive thinking. This was key for me.