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Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

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Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#31
post #19

Beaten, neglected, molested, unsafe, etc. Many family & friends died from drugs, disease, poor life choices. Read books on success & business. Moved out at 16. Taught myself programming and business. Married a hot smart fellow nerd. Got good jobs, bought a business and monetized it. Had fantastic kids. Grateful every day to not be where I woke up. Retired to a farm recently.

[flagged]

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#32
post #19

Beaten, neglected, molested, unsafe, etc. Many family & friends died from drugs, disease, poor life choices. Read books on success & business. Moved out at 16. Taught myself programming and business. Married a hot smart fellow nerd. Got good jobs, bought a business and monetized it. Had fantastic kids. Grateful every day to not be where I woke up. Retired to a farm recently.

[flagged]

You’re kind of correct. I have mentioned these things on HN often enough that I didn’t want to bore people. But I also like letting people know that a normal person can get pretty far using well-known techniques.

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#33
Scored a 6 or a 7, depending on the answer to one question that I'm not sure of. I think more likely 7 than 6.

This pretty obviously impacted my happiness when I lived with an abusive parent and I have some physical issues that could possibly be related to starving so much as a kid and some others that fall out of not getting basic dental care, but I don't think it's obvious that my background is a dominant factor in how happy or satisfied I am. I find it plausible that my resilience in certain situations is lower than it otherwise would be due to my background, but it's not clear that it's even lower than average in those situations. And, overall, I was probably happier and more satisfied with my life than most people starting a couple years after moving out on my own until a few years ago.

Maybe the version of me that wasn't abused so much as a kid would've been even happier or maybe that version would still have above average life satisfaction today, but maybe not.

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#34
post #30
post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Congrats, I’m very similar to you I’m just at the monetised it phase now, one day I hope to retire to a farm too :)

Really more of a hobby farm. Was a dream of mine for 50 years before we bought it. Incredibly beautiful. My best to you and yours. It can be done!

Great life story. There's nothing that cannot be achieved if you set your sights on it (and persist).

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#35
I got a 6.

My university scholarships were based on a few factors including my area code / postal code being considered as “deprived” meaning high crime, low income and low education attainment.

I personally don’t have any issues (I don’t think).

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#36
I think you have to grow up a bit. There's more to life than the rat race, and if you score high, you should be participating in the direction of life. Not just follow the crumbs laid down by others. Or chose their side.

You're not a rat, and it helps other people if you don't act like one scared little mouse. Especially if you got decent brains. It's hurts them morally when they have to compete with you when they should have an ally.

Yeah, there is so much pressure to just stop living (and follow the crumbs), and there's no way to achieve anything of worth outside of it. No friends for example, supposedly. As we all are trapped, and we do it to ourselves, self apply the Matrix and tragically be the enemy of our loving destiny.

Those who realize they are trapped have traditionally, and wisely, kneeled to Christ, and have typically been rewarded with a new life. Amen. But if you have decent brains you might also compassionately reason a way out, or identify those that have done so, and join their quest.

Stop living your life as if it's just you. It's not. The rat race lies about you. And the collective lies about you. Grow a spine. These are the facts of life. And as Christianity fades they get pushed into our faces. We have to deal with a self serving collective, that makes us into enemies. Especially us in the software realm mindlessly masturbate to our own bank accounts, while we know better, and that political future needs us. Instead we mindlessly empower ever bigger titans. Karma will come round.

Yes this alternative future needs a business model, to take care of the individuals that are currently starved out of resistance, including by you, and out of their potential to be the good they know they can be.

While there is no business, you still have an excuse. But once it exists, in it you'll be working to empower the ones on your side, fully and completely sharing your life. Our beautiful but deficient society demands it is so extreme, for it itself is a tangent.

Therefore the king shall work his way up, and be compassionate. And as he rises the powers that be will see an enemy, and will fight with fud. And all what their profits can buy. But they will also see a prophecy taking aim at them. The angels in high heaven, and their master, which surely do not exist, right?

Do what is right and the future will come to you.

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#37
I would be wary of drawing conclusions from this cohort you are questioning on hacker news.

It almost certainly holds only a small portion of the individuals from rough childhood backgrounds.

And don't forget that a number suffering the most will have taken the 'ultimate opt-out' from this forum.

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#38
I have an ACE score of 6. I vastly benefit from trauma therapy: EMDR, IoPT (constellations), hypnotherapy, somatic experiencing, nonviolent communication. It helped me get out of most of my previous addictions, and I do not need to take any medication. I consider myself to be quite happy, and was able to build secure attachments and bonds.

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#39
post #30
post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Congrats, I’m very similar to you I’m just at the monetised it phase now, one day I hope to retire to a farm too :)

Really more of a hobby farm. Was a dream of mine for 50 years before we bought it. Incredibly beautiful. My best to you and yours. It can be done!

Thank you! Yes I think mine would be a hobby farm too, I want some cute lambs and a goat and somewhere to have some orange trees, that’s about it ^.^

Re: Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

#40
post #19

Beaten, neglected, molested, unsafe, etc. Many family & friends died from drugs, disease, poor life choices. Read books on success & business. Moved out at 16. Taught myself programming and business. Married a hot smart fellow nerd. Got good jobs, bought a business and monetized it. Had fantastic kids. Grateful every day to not be where I woke up. Retired to a farm recently.

Congratulations and thank you for breaking the cycle.
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