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When My Crazy Father Actually Lost His Mind

nytimes.com

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Re: When My Crazy Father Actually Lost His Mind

#21

Post by earl »

yic2 wrote: post #20

The author seems extremely harsh and unfeeling toward his father. He, or any one of us, should try to imagine being treated like his father did -- on first discharge from hospital, no one to pick him up but just some money and clean clothes were dropped off at the hospital. His father must have felt too unwelcome to even go home, and he didn't ... he went to visit his brother. On second discharge from hospital, they…

Did you read the article? Before the first hospitalization, the father had already repeatedly assaulted the mother.

   Convinced that nameless people were trying to kill him, he slept
   no more than an hour or two a night and started drinking after
   five years of sobriety. When his suspicions grew to include his
   immediate family, he became violent and threatened suicide. At
   one point, he tried to jump out of the car as my mother was driving
   down the highway on the way to the doctor’s office. On another day,
   he poured motor oil over her windshield as she was pulling out of
   the garage. More than once, he hit her. More than once, he
   threatened to burn the house down.
The author also pointed out her father is a 250lb man who presumably is significantly physically stronger than her mother. So it's quite clear why they didn't want him going home. Further, in the emergency room

   In the emergency room, he grew belligerent, shoving a doctor and
   nearly punching an orderly. That’s when he was injected with Haldol
   and sent to PESS.
etc etc. And it isn't hard to see the author's torment at being forced to do this to her father.

Re: When My Crazy Father Actually Lost His Mind

#24

Post by jcmhn »

earl wrote: post #21
yic2 wrote: post #20

The author seems extremely harsh and unfeeling toward his father. He, or any one of us, should try to imagine being treated like his father did -- on first discharge from hospital, no one to pick him up but just some money and clean clothes were dropped off at the hospital. His father must have felt too unwelcome to even go home, and he didn't ... he went to visit his brother. On second discharge from hospital, they…

Did you read the article? Before the first hospitalization, the father had already repeatedly assaulted the mother. Convinced that nameless people were trying to kill him, he slept no more than an hour or two a night and started drinking after five years of sobriety. When his suspicions grew to include his immediate family, he became violent and threatened suicide. At one point, he tried to jump out of the car as my…

> And it isn't hard to see the author's torment at being forced to do this to her father.

That guilt, torment, and second guessing of yourself is one of the terrible things that result when trying to take care of a mentally ill person. Unless you've actually been there, and been there, and been there, and been there again you can't understand how the experience wears you down.

I'm a empathetic and patient person, and I have had to make the same sorts of decisions the author describes. There are no good answers - only less terrible ones, and even those you are not sure of.

Re: When My Crazy Father Actually Lost His Mind

#25

Post by yic2 »

jcmhn wrote: post #24
earl wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you read the article? Before the first hospitalization, the father had already repeatedly assaulted the mother. Convinced that nameless people were trying to kill him, he slept no more than an hour or two a night and started drinking after five years of sobriety. When his suspicions grew to include his immediate family, he became violent and threatened suicide. At one point, he tried to jump out of the car as my…

> And it isn't hard to see the author's torment at being forced to do this to her father. That guilt, torment, and second guessing of yourself is one of the terrible things that result when trying to take care of a mentally ill person. Unless you've actually been there, and been there, and been there, and been there again you can't understand how the experience wears you down. I'm a empathetic and patient person, and…

I'll admit I'm a bit biased. I have had a brief psychotic episode, committed against my will (based on the article its hard to commit people, but in my case, not being home at 11pm at night but walking in the street in a nearby town -- plus a yes from a person in my family to the police did it right away.) This in the US. So I've seen this from the other side. I felt my family were more concerned in maintaining the appearance they were doing the right thing and to prevent any further disruption than anything else. Nevermind if the patient loses the ability to think or develops side effects like tardive dyskinesia (where you can't control your tounge so it keeps sticking out of your face and drool -- which I experienced for a day, or uncontrollable eye tics), and weight gain which is very common. I was surprised that the psychiatrists don't spend much time with you, its a 10 minute conversation followed by a prescription for daily antipsychotics. Unfortunately, my parents trust in medicine and are very conservative and thorough, so they gave me more antipsychotic than I needed and talked me into taking it for months and getting prescription elsewhere even though the initial doctors were no longer involved. Your every behavior becomes second-guessed, if you become occasionally irritated like normal people, your family thinks you didn't take your medication or you might need help. In fact, at the end of the article, when the father said some loving things towards his son, I wondered to myself whether the father had said those things as part of the act to protect himself from treatment. Its what involuntary commitment does to you.

Btw, now there are antipsychotics that are injected once a month and release slowly.

Re: When My Crazy Father Actually Lost His Mind

#26

Post by zygotic »

RockyMcNuts wrote: post #12
zygotic wrote: post #9

Listen very carefully. I shall say this only once. Lunatics do sometimes run the Asylumn. You are declared insane only by a society that doesn#t understand you. I've never met a mad cat - but some quite angry panthers... Violence is the only measure of insanity.

hope everything's OK there. A lot of violent people are, sadly, quite sane and otherwise fairly rational. I'm quite sure a relative wasn't just misunderstood, but needed a bit of help when she heard voices, didn't want to stay in her apartment because of the spirits, withdrew all her money from the bank because the people there were conspiring against her, and wandered the streets of NY late at night.

Apologies for my apparent flippancy - I do not intend to offend. It's difficult to make the point in such a small space with so few words, I was attempting to address a larger picture. Allo Allo was a British satirical comedy concerning the Nazi occupation in France (hence the tagline 'I shall say this only once'). I suggest, very sadly, that you are wrong. Violent people are demonstrably not sane or rational - especially when under orders. I promise that I understand your concerns lie closer to home at the moment. But people.never forget.
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