When My Crazy Father Actually Lost His Mind

When My Crazy Father Actually Lost His Mind
nytimes.com

Locks appeared on the property, and started moving daily, if not sometimes hourly (different keys, combinations, etc.) I invested pretty early in a good set of bolt cutters.

I learned quickly to start any approach and conversation with "Hey, dad" otherwise he would seem to decide I was a stranger up to no good and try to run me off the property.

He would have moments of lucidity where he would admit he was terrified, that he was pretty sure he was losing his mind. But they were pretty fleeting.

I remember one night he kicked my mother-in-law out of their house, claiming he was going to kill anyone who came in. The Sheriff was called and it was mentioned that not only was he a Korean war vet, he had guns in the house.

That was the night SWAT stayed outside our houses (we live next door) until morning, as my father-in-law hung up on the Sheriff's Deputies and refused to answer any subsequent door knock or telephone call.

Early that morning it was surreal to see the SWAT team serpentining across our lawn, guns drawn. My father-in-law answered the door, invited the Deputies in for coffee, was confused when they took him into custody, then handed me his keys saying he didn't know what he did, but apparently he was in trouble and I better watch over the place.

Turned out he had a toothache no one was aware of and was having a hard time coping with the pain, since he couldn't stay focused long enough to tell anyone about it.

Luckily, no one was hurt over that whole period and my wife got to spend the last year and a half with her father before he died of cancer and complications from Alzheimer's.

It has also resulted in some long talks with my wife about how long either of us wants to be kept alive, in the result of not being mentally with it, or mentally awake in a failing body.

We learned quite a bit about Power of Attorney and Medical Directives, as well.

In the UK there is someone called a "nearest relative". This person is defined in law[1] and has some powers. If the nearest relative says that a person should be detained in hospital the clinicians must "consider" that option. They don't actually have to do it, but they have to record that they've heard the request, and that they've considered the request, and that they've declined that option.

When you are worried about the mental health of someone you should call their GP. This can be an emergency appointment. S/he will come and assess the person, and maybe ask for a local "crisis and home resolution treatment team" (might not be called that in your area) to come and assess the person. Hospitalisation is sub-optimal, patients have strict[2] rights, and so it can be hard to have a person detained against their will in hospital. It is not lawful to say things like "Go voluntarily or we'll section you", but sometimes the person can be persuaded to go voluntarily.

If the person is out of the home you should either get them home and call a GP; or call the police. The police have something called a "section 36" where they can detain someone for a short time for assessment. This should be a "place of safety" - unfortunately this place of safety can be the police cells, rather than a special building.

Once someone has had a psychiatric incident it's a really good idea to make a "Rainy Day Action Plan". You keep notes of useful phone numbers and contacts[3] and instructions from the person about signs to look out for, and what to try and do, and what to do when things get really bad. You make the person write on this, and sign it. It is their document, and it's important that it's their words and wishes. This certainly helps if you need to get them hospitalised or medicated in future.

UK law is a bit complicated. Every patient should have advocacy available, and I certainly recommend that people try to get hold of advocates.

I am not a doctor or clinician or etc. This is just anecdotal advice from a random internet stranger.

[1] (http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Publicationsandstatistics/Legislatio...)

[2] Sometimes those strict rights are ignored. It's very annoying.

[3] There's a lot of churn in staff in MH services. Don't expect those contacts to stay valid for very long.

As far as I can see the article only mentions the actions of the social workers. It makes no mention of their intelligence or (lack of) well-meaning. (As an aside: "I only meant well" is an extremely effective shield against criticism and anyone who uses it should be distrusted. Also, even a truly well-meaning individual can do a lot of harm.)

In what way are social workers undervalued? Apparently they can't get anything done due to the laws. How would they get more done if we paid them more?