Unusually well written.
Why go out?
31–40 of 113 posts
Re: Why go out?
#32I think she is a little bit neurotic, and she missed all the evolutionary stuff - that we are hardwired for social interaction. I live an overly solitary life, and I crave for company. My social circle is nearly empty, no GF, and almost all my friends have moved to other cities, so I have just one close friend. Damn, I need to go out. I need more human contact, not less.
Yup, get yourself out there, sharpish. Form/join another peer group. Is there a scifi writer's group in your location? Join it. If not, start one. If you work in tech, start some workshops on something mainstream in your local coffee shop/community centre ('blogging for charity workers' or 'podcasting for beginners' or something)
Thanks, will do something about it. I must.
Re: Why go out?
#33Earlier quoted context omitted.
Regardless of your spiritual bent ... except for every religion that has solitary monks, or hermits, or walkabouts, etc.
Who are considered holy not because they aren't social, but because they are rejecting something fundamentally human in the name of $diety.
I read an article by an East Orthodox priest once - evidently the idea was the hermit life was popular for wrestling with the Self and for the pursuit of reflection and personal betterment.
Re: Why go out?
#34Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is the correct interpretation. Congratulations! I read the article and thought, "Wow, there are people like this?" I mean, I relate to a few of the issues, some social anxiety here and there, some wondering how I'm viewed in social groups, etc. But to this level? Let me make this perfectly clear: I have nothing against these kinds of people. Not in the least. I know a lot of you out there will relate to this art…
Really? I disagree, perhaps that's what the difference is between introvert and extrovert. I find that I need some time to myself, to do my own things, or else I get perturbed. For a while there in university I would spend even 2 or 3 day alone in my apartment, without speaking, texting, or IMing anyone. Just coding an assignment, playing video games or fooling around in Linux. Completely giving up people didn't see…
I am an I :) There's introversion (the natural preference/energy focus) and then there's verging on sociopathy (lack of empathy, inability to relate to others). I think the author is closer to the 2nd, but I don't really know.
Just be aware that I fully understand introversion/extroversion and all the shades in-between. And still hold to my interpretation of the article...
Re: Why go out?
#35I think she is a little bit neurotic, and she missed all the evolutionary stuff - that we are hardwired for social interaction. I live an overly solitary life, and I crave for company. My social circle is nearly empty, no GF, and almost all my friends have moved to other cities, so I have just one close friend. Damn, I need to go out. I need more human contact, not less.
In her case, she doesn't seem to have any neuroses that couldn't be fixed with perspective. Instead of brooding about a perceived insult from some experimental poet guy she met at a bar, she could try volunteering in any number of capacities, from neutral social/cultural organizations to civil libertarian causes to overt partisan activism. You can't look closely at the lives and roles of others without seeing your own in more detail.
Somewhere in the Universe a supernova or a gamma-ray burst probably wiped out a dozen advanced civilizations between the time I typed 'Somewhere' and the time I typed 'typed.' Fretting over anything less is, by definition, sweating the small stuff.
Re: Why go out?
#36The author starts off with a nicely logical analysis of whether companionship is worth it, backed by anecdotal evidence from her life. I think she doesn’t give enough evidence for her conclusion that people don’t “provide satisfaction and relaxation” – she only mentioned one story, and didn’t describe any times when people were good – but at least she tries to base her decisions on evidence. And then at the end she says “perhaps our solitude is just saving up energy for companionship” – and then stops there, assuming that that first hypothesis is right (and concluding based on that assumption that being around people is worth it, after all). Where did all her logic go? She has given no evidence of any kind for that, unlike everything else she discussed before. She’s wasting her previous painstaking analysis by ending with an unsupported storybook, feel-good decision. That’s too bad; it makes this article significantly less useful as a guide to deciding whether going out is worth it in my case.
Re: Why go out?
#37What I got from the article i. Childhood issues ii. Possible serious psychological disorder iii. Appreciation for my enjoyment of people
This is the correct interpretation. Congratulations! I read the article and thought, "Wow, there are people like this?" I mean, I relate to a few of the issues, some social anxiety here and there, some wondering how I'm viewed in social groups, etc. But to this level? Let me make this perfectly clear: I have nothing against these kinds of people. Not in the least. I know a lot of you out there will relate to this art…
You have nothing against them, except the belief that they should't accept who they are?
Re: Why go out?
#38Earlier quoted context omitted.
People have often wildly conflicting views on what it means to be an introvert. I subscribe to the definition that an introvert is someone who primarily derives validation and worth from himself, rather than external people or stimuli -- think staying late to solve a tough problem, rather than staying late to impress a boss. I'm definitely an extrovert, despite being relatively quiet and thriving in private situation…
I don't know why we have to bin people like that. I love staying in to program, or read, or whatever, but I need to go out a lot (every day, or more, if I can help it), because I love hanging out with friends, meeting new people, doing new things, etc. Intrinsic vs extrinsic validation doesn't really factor into it. I just like hanging out with friends and making new ones.
We bin people like that because, before the bins, we just assumed there was one and that people who weren't in it were bad. Now we know there are two, and people might simply be in a different "good" rather than out in the "bad".
Re: Why go out?
#39Earlier quoted context omitted.
The problem is that she just sort of smacks into that conclusion. Like it was just getting too depressing, so she tacked on a happy ending sitcom-style.
I think it was intentional. The point of the article is not to hold your hand and guide you out of the forest, but to snap her fingers and make it dissolve. Perspective is often sudden.
This.
Her conclusion was emotional, not intellectual. I'm fairly confident that was intentional.
Re: Why go out?
#40I think she is a little bit neurotic, and she missed all the evolutionary stuff - that we are hardwired for social interaction. I live an overly solitary life, and I crave for company. My social circle is nearly empty, no GF, and almost all my friends have moved to other cities, so I have just one close friend. Damn, I need to go out. I need more human contact, not less.
Evopsych stuff is still speculative bullshit, IMO. I'm rather glad she left it out.