Earlier quoted context omitted.
Leaving academia is like this. It's very sticky and scary to leave. I remember how devastating it was for me. I think it's because there's a very strong sense of a missed dream, and that you can never return.
I feel the need to point out that it's not difficult for people whose identity is not centered around their jobs, since I see that disconnect in the comments. I found the author's take full of the pageantry that I often associate with people who make big deals out of fairly inconsequential things, but before I begrudge the author their take, I have to remember that my career is of relatively little importance to me.…
"Career" means to move haphazardly. It replaced the more stable notions of "vocation" and "calling". Today you might spend a year in hospitality, a few years in sales, then do a diploma in programming, move to California, get into media design, and then open a juice bar on the beach... Everyone is at the mercy of ever swirling markets and the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, layoffs and takeovers, new trends. Who here didn't "get into AI" in the last 2 years?
In a way that's a richer better life. It's more challenging. It is also shallower. There are less places to put down roots and grow anything worthwhile. People with active minds and a lust for life naturally outgrow scenes, groups and institutions. Moving on should be an exciting joy. What I see of America and UK now (at least here on HN) is that people are held in place by fear. We've regressed to 19th century ideas about work and life, minus the positive 'belonging'.
What I think people sometimes "grieve" is the sunk-cost spiritual investment in what they thought an institution represented. Or they found themselves in an career that is in decline. or in institutions that have decayed - and it's painful to move on. Those reasons may be emotionally noble; loyalty, fidelity to values etc. You can let go of values and of a dream. Or you can take them with you, by realising that they never belonged to any "institution" in the first place. They're yours.
Academia is definitely that place in 2024. The reality of academic life is the antithesis of human values we traditionally associate it with. If the institutions we inhabit are inflexible, ineffectual, and less than our ambitions then it's time to move on. The problem is not so much that people identify with what they "do", but where and with whom they do it. It's a strong and valuable kind of person who keeps their calling/purpose separate from their employment identity.