Why doesn't advice work?
dynomight.substack.com
Why doesn't advice work?
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Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#2Yes. One of the big reasons I got into direct response marketing (surprisingly) is that I'm obsessed with the truth. Why do people really make decisions? What are the actual levers that get people to take action? In DR marketing, you either figure this out or go out of business.
I'm really good at getting people to put advice into action in real life because of my marketing experience. I've helped multiple friends get jobs or change their lives. But I only give advice if I really think it's going to be impactful, so it's rare.
The biggest impact on whether your advice will be taken (or your ad will work) is giving specific examples rather than platitudes.
Also, obligatory Tolkien:
"Elves seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill. But what would you? You have not told me all concerning yourself; and how then shall I choose better than you?"
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#3> Maybe we get stuck inside our heads.
In my experience, when people ignore good advice, it seems like there's always a "z" factor keeping people off the line of advice and onto something else: waiting for another moment, or a desire for a different outcome, or a notion that there's something else that will reveal itself or alter the given path.
The challenge is finding/honoring the critical moment when the action in the advice has to be taken or a new set of circumstances establish themselves and the advice needs to be updated.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#4Cuban Missile Crisis is a bad example. In a hindsight, advice by Taylor and LeMay for airstrike was spot on. That would be the best way to solve Soviet problem once and for all.
Back then, no one could precisely know, and on a tactical level, advice was bad - the missing thing is that Soviet nuclear weapon stocks especially mated to delivery vehicles were many times smaller than believed, so any probable scenario lead to either a clean U.S. victory/Soviet capitulation and dismantlement of Communism, or simply thorough elimination of all Eastern Bloc.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#5I think people avoid taking advice because taking advice is actually really difficult. Nobody has actually "been in your shoes." You have to try to understand why they said what they said, then try to apply it to your situation. Not a trivial task.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#6Cuban Missile Crisis is a bad example. In a hindsight, advice by Taylor and LeMay for airstrike was spot on. That would be the best way to solve Soviet problem once and for all. Back then, no one could precisely know, and on a tactical level, advice was bad - the missing thing is that Soviet nuclear weapon stocks especially mated to delivery vehicles were many times smaller than believed, so any probable scenario lea…
How would that approach avoid escalation?
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#7Cuban Missile Crisis is a bad example. In a hindsight, advice by Taylor and LeMay for airstrike was spot on. That would be the best way to solve Soviet problem once and for all. Back then, no one could precisely know, and on a tactical level, advice was bad - the missing thing is that Soviet nuclear weapon stocks especially mated to delivery vehicles were many times smaller than believed, so any probable scenario lea…
How would that approach avoid escalation?
It wouldn't. Just go straight on.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#8Advice is complicated. The article does a good job opening up the topic.
Advice has the connotation of being the conclusion of the discovery of the problem. When the recipient doesn't understand or won't act on the advice, it should be the start of the conversation, more questioning than stated suggestions, like in the hinting examples about coffee. In most situations, a lot of that conversation will be about getting the advice recipient to agree there is a problem to solve. Not everyone will be willing to have that conversation long enough to see there is a problem.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#9Most people, in my experience, not only do not think logically but actively eschew thinking logically, making long term plans, goal setting, etc.
I don't know if it's an intelligence thing. I don't think it is. I have met not so smart people that are incredibly goal oriented and very smart people who piss it all away.
I'm at a point in my career/life where I often find myself giving advice to people who aren't interested in it. I've learned to limit the extent of the advice I give until people show that they know how to take advice. There are also likely strategies for giving advice depending on who you are talking to. I find that, especially for my spouse, direct advice is useless (...and that's when the fight started) but winding parables and directed self-learning are incredibly impactful.
Re: Why doesn't advice work?
#10It sounds like the author is coming from a places of intellect and might be missing more of the emotional reasons people don't follow advice.
Intellectual-emotional dissonance is one of the biggest reasons people don't do things they know they should[1] be doing. We often have the mistaken approach that if we pile on more intellectual reasons why we should take the advice that the logic will outweigh our emotions and we will take the advice. But this isn't true at all.
Piling on more intellectual reasons creates a bigger gap between emotions and reason making the situation feel even more distressing. It's usually much more effective to find a way to help people's emotional sides keep up with their intellect, but we often devalue emotions so much that we even devalue approaching them at all even if it's to ameliorate them.
How to do this, is another comment for another time, but it's rewarding, as it helps us understand more about what makes us tick.
1. Ostensibly. Should statements themselves have their own issues. https://www.thinkingbugs.com/should-statements