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Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

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Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

#31

Post by mattm »

onemoresoop wrote: post #26
datadrivenangel wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Becoming a cooler, fitter, more interesting version of yourself

That's probably what the "be yourself" advice was getting at. When you try to be someone you're not you show it through your body language, it looks contrived and it's picked up rather quickly. "Be yourself" was probably meant to be more like act less desperate for attention and more confident in oneself, don't try to impress, etc.. But I agree that it is not a good advice to people who do indeed need to improve.

Maybe it should be "become yourself"

Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

#32

Post by elnatro »

There is a lot of bad advice I’ve received over the years:

- you don’t need to go to a good university, this one (low tier uni in my country) is fine.

- don’t fight bullies back.

But the worst is not receiving bad advice, but receiving no advice at all, and staying in a dead-end job and city for too many years. Having no emotional support early in life leaves yourself “damaged” and gives you a cynical view of the world.

Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

#33

Post by linotype »

jalapenos wrote: post #21
coolThingsFirst wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What worked for you then?

Move to a better dating market

This is the real answer. If you’re 26 in the Midwest, odds are many of the women a person would date are already married with a kid or two.

Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

#35

Post by redserk »

alexjplant wrote: post #28
redserk wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Defense contracting is not a government job. You work for a private organization that provides services to the government. Big difference.

...where did I say that it was? They're both in the same space (figuratively and sometimes literally) and both of them have the same problem insofar as they aren't as bulletproof as they're made out to be. You can, in fact, be fired from a government job and things like the government shutdown circus and BRAC are real.

My apologies if I misinterpreted. I assumed it was tied together with this:

> When I worked in defense contracting people loved trotting out stuff like "the work is stable", "you can't get fired from a government job"

It's truly a shame that the employees who keep the government glued together -- be it via direct government employment or contracting -- are subject to unnecessarily turmulous conditions because of one political party's antics.

Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

#36

Post by tetris11 »

mattm wrote: post #31
onemoresoop wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's probably what the "be yourself" advice was getting at. When you try to be someone you're not you show it through your body language, it looks contrived and it's picked up rather quickly. "Be yourself" was probably meant to be more like act less desperate for attention and more confident in oneself, don't try to impress, etc.. But I agree that it is not a good advice to people who do indeed need to improve.

Maybe it should be "become yourself"

"bootstrap your future now"

or

"reach into the future and pull the best possible rendition of yourself backwards to now forthwith such that you can become thatself once thineself agrees that it is indeed thou that thou wishes to become"

Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

#37

Post by a_bouncing_bean »

- Fake it until you make it.

While there is some truth to this depending on the context, for the most part, especially in software engineering world, you don't know everything. Don't be afraid to say if you need to research something or do POC or investigation. No one will be mad at you and if they are, you don't need to be working with that person. I spent many nights frantically trying to figure out things, to make it seemed like I was up to par, when I should have been more chill about it.

- Do what you love, and the money will follow.

My parents, my high school guidance, society, everyone told me this thing in 2002. Many of my friends went into music education and I can say only one or two got a job in this field. Then 2008 hit. This view, it is the survivors bias, what you should do instead is what will make you money, then figure out how to use that skill to do or add to what you love.

Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

#38

Post by alexjplant »

redserk wrote: post #35
alexjplant wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

...where did I say that it was? They're both in the same space (figuratively and sometimes literally) and both of them have the same problem insofar as they aren't as bulletproof as they're made out to be. You can, in fact, be fired from a government job and things like the government shutdown circus and BRAC are real.

My apologies if I misinterpreted. I assumed it was tied together with this: > When I worked in defense contracting people loved trotting out stuff like "the work is stable", "you can't get fired from a government job" It's truly a shame that the employees who keep the government glued together -- be it via direct government employment or contracting -- are subject to unnecessarily turmulous conditions because of one…

_My_ apologies for not making the distinction more explicit - reading it in hindsight it is a bit ambiguous.

In an ideal world the government would operate a little more sanely but I'm not holding my breath.

Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?

#40

Post by AnimalMuppet »

linotype wrote: post #33
jalapenos wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Move to a better dating market

This is the real answer. If you’re 26 in the Midwest, odds are many of the women a person would date are already married with a kid or two.

I'm not really in the market, but I would expect that most Midwest women wouldn't be opposed to dating a man who is a few years older.
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