"Just be yourself". Such terrible, useless advice to give to someone who is struggling with dating.
What worked for you then?
Move to a better dating market
Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
21–30 of 78 posts
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#22Don't become a computer programmer, the industry is being outsourced to India.
So I became a plumber instead. Don't have to worry about someone from India flying here to crawl under a house to snake out a line.
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#23Get a safe, secure job.
Why dis it turn out to be bad?
Because it's often a lie (at least in my experience). When I worked in defense contracting people loved trotting out stuff like "the work is stable", "you can't get fired from a government job", etc. all while dealing with furloughs, government shutdowns, geographic consolidation of work to different states, contracts changing hands, companies being acquired, etc. Employment in the US is at-will and nobody is going to guarantee you a job, especially these days, and employers at the lower echelons of the industry are very fond of selling the dream of "stability" by sowing fear of the unknown to prevent attrition while building a culture of malaise and low compensation.
I'm not saying that one should work exclusively for seed-stage crypto startups that sell blockchain-verified probiotic dog food or anything, but at some point you should critically examine whether it makes sense to be someplace that's 10 years and tens of thousands of dollars behind the curve just because it's "stable" when it so obviously isn't.
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#24The following was advice an accomplished PhD wrote to me discouraging me from co-founding Pretty Litter which would eventually become a billion dollar (sold to Mars) CPG business: “here is some free consulting advice: you need to think very carefully through the economics and competitive environment of the cat litter business. At the end of the day there needs to be a real business, not just an exercise in PR and cro…
I'm guessing he was "accomplished" in writing papers and sounding smart, rather than in a way that'd pay off his mortgage?
Hope you forwarded him a newspaper clipping about the sale
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#25Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why dis it turn out to be bad?
Because it's often a lie (at least in my experience). When I worked in defense contracting people loved trotting out stuff like "the work is stable", "you can't get fired from a government job", etc. all while dealing with furloughs, government shutdowns, geographic consolidation of work to different states, contracts changing hands, companies being acquired, etc. Employment in the US is at-will and nobody is going t…
Defense contracting is not a government job.
You work for a private organization that provides services to the government.
Big difference.
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#26Earlier quoted context omitted.
What worked for you then?
Becoming a cooler, fitter, more interesting version of yourself
That's probably what the "be yourself" advice was getting at. When you try to be someone you're not you show it through your body language, it looks contrived and it's picked up rather quickly. "Be yourself" was probably meant to be more like act less desperate for attention and more confident in oneself, don't try to impress, etc.. But I agree that it is not a good advice to people who do indeed need to improve.
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#27Don't become a computer programmer, the industry is being outsourced to India. So I became a plumber instead. Don't have to worry about someone from India flying here to crawl under a house to snake out a line.
Was this a bad advice though? Are you being paid enough for your work? Does it work out for you?
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#28Earlier quoted context omitted.
Because it's often a lie (at least in my experience). When I worked in defense contracting people loved trotting out stuff like "the work is stable", "you can't get fired from a government job", etc. all while dealing with furloughs, government shutdowns, geographic consolidation of work to different states, contracts changing hands, companies being acquired, etc. Employment in the US is at-will and nobody is going t…
Defense contracting is not a government job. You work for a private organization that provides services to the government. Big difference.
...where did I say that it was? They're both in the same space (figuratively and sometimes literally) and both of them have the same problem insofar as they aren't as bulletproof as they're made out to be. You can, in fact, be fired from a government job and things like the government shutdown circus and BRAC are real.
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#29The following was advice an accomplished PhD wrote to me discouraging me from co-founding Pretty Litter which would eventually become a billion dollar (sold to Mars) CPG business: “here is some free consulting advice: you need to think very carefully through the economics and competitive environment of the cat litter business. At the end of the day there needs to be a real business, not just an exercise in PR and cro…
That's not bad advice - you just managed to overcome a lot of real obstacles. Humble brag.
Re: Ask HN: What's the worst advice you've ever received?
#30A college CS professor told me to go into management. The thinking was, as you get older, it will be hard to continually compete with the younger developers and keep your skills current. After 20 years I have stayed a developer, and have seen former developers who went into management get laid off. One former manager went back to being a developer.