I know the author is just making a joke here, and it is funny. Somehow it reminded me of some actual advice I've seen more than once on /r/thinkpad. I am paraphrasing from memory, but I'm sure I have the gist of it:
> When you get a brand new ThinkPad in a factory sealed box, the first thing you must do is completely disassemble it and inspect all the parts. When you reassemble it, repaste the CPU with a quality paste like Arctic MX-4. Now you will have a ThinkPad built to your standards, not Lenovo's.