I normally need to select both as I regret not doing things but also regret doing them after.
Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
41–50 of 59 posts
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#42Regret-centric advice always follows the implicit model of: had I taken Action, best case I add Good Result to this timeline, worst case I revert to this timeline. No, failure can have a cost that wipes out this timeline completely, leaving you unimaginably worse off.
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#43The problem this data will have is it’ll just be two extreme points of view. Some people regret heavily, some heavily glad. Anyone in between probably not represented because they can’t be bothered to express an opinion. I saw a sign recently that just read “success is very similar to failure” and I absolutely agree. The difference in your life and happiness between getting what you want and not is often much smaller…
Considering the real value is in the comments, I think that's fine.
Also this reasoning applies just as much to any sort of review feature elsewhere. Yelp, Amazon, Glassdoor, IMDB, etc. Most people who bother to leave a review are those that have strong opinions one way or the other.
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#44The problem this data will have is it’ll just be two extreme points of view. Some people regret heavily, some heavily glad. Anyone in between probably not represented because they can’t be bothered to express an opinion. I saw a sign recently that just read “success is very similar to failure” and I absolutely agree. The difference in your life and happiness between getting what you want and not is often much smaller…
It loses a lot of data in nuance, as well. I regret never having an SO halfway through my life. But it's easy to gloss over the fact that not all relationships are helpful and can lead to grief and consequences that exceed the cost of being single. So what I'm really saying is that I regret forgoing a very specific case of having an SO.
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#45Regret-centric advice always follows the implicit model of: had I taken Action, best case I add Good Result to this timeline, worst case I revert to this timeline. No, failure can have a cost that wipes out this timeline completely, leaving you unimaginably worse off.
So true. Very good to know which decisions are one-way or two-way doors.
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#46This misses a lot of nuance. The decisions are yes/no on regret and an extremely short reason. These aren't going to help others make reasoned decisions about things. You can't really help with that anyway, because you're just setting someone up to write in the future "I wanted X but I read about someone else who regretted it. But now I regret not doing it because I'm not them." For example, I once quit my salaried j…
The causal relationship is that you’re willing to explore more options before you go into full exploit mode, and that allowed you to find a better local maxima. It’s not that hard to follow. But if you frame it as an obviously bad decision having a good eventual outcome, it’s easier to call BS on it.
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#47I think regrets are somewhat of a pointless exercise (that is, there are exceptions, but much fewer than seems to be the assumption) One takes a decision considering: 1. the best information available, 2. the sum total of your fears and complexes. 3. sometimes picking a choice without a clear cut set of criteria to make an informed decision. Years later, what's the point regretting it? It means that you are now perha…
It can be helpful for others. There are certain kinds of regrets everyone comes close to experiencing it. And there’s a systemic reason (cultural, psychological, etc) that pushes us near the edge. Hearing someone else’s recount can be helpful in reconsidering.
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#48Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don’t regret buying a house but I assumed I would. The great house price crash was waiting for me to buy, so I thought… still it is a shallow win to see others suffering with rent prices.
I do regret it, wish I'd bought a condo. Lawns are bogus and I don't need 4 external walls
The lawn is there so that no one else uses that space. It keeps your neighbours at a distance.
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#49Earlier quoted context omitted.
At least make it consistent. Why is it “I decided to quit smoking” instead of “I decided to start smoking”? The default is to be a non-smoker.
I think the only sensible consistency is to have both, not one or the other. To a smoker, the default is the status quo.
that, and i suspect that many started smoking when they were young, trying to impress their peers, following their parents or friends habits etc, and most importantly not making a conscious decision. "it just happened. i don't know why". you can't regret a decision you didn't make. same goes for alcohol. this is different from drugs where everyone says "don't do it", and so doing it is more likely to be a conscious decision.
Re: Show HN: I built a directory about big life decisions/regrets
#50The way I’d slightly reframe this is to make it be about “the grass is always greener.”
Instead of discussing regrets, just talk about the things you think more about now that you’ve committed to a choice.
For example, I don’t regret owning a home. But I now think a lot about how an open concept main floor seemed like a great idea, but without walls I don’t have many places to store my furniture.