> I toot about Matrix, and I’ve got reply-guys berating me for not using XMPP instead.
Huh, those are extremely contrarian reply-guys; if anything I would expect the opposite.
I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
31–40 of 89 posts
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#32Lack of nuance, and taking things too personal, was why I also left fedi back in 2022. Had been running an instance since 2017.
But in the past 2 years I've realized that you should just ignore the haters. They're on youtube too and I don't get involved with them there, so why do I focus on them elsewhere?
No need.
So I'm actually going to return with a personal instance, simply because I enjoy having somewhere to post random pics and stuff when I'm not by a computer, using my phone. I don't care if anyone follows.
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#33Here's my "reply-guy" comment of the day: if you are posting about where you buy your wall decoration and you get negative feedback, well, maybe it's not worth to tell strangers where you buy wall decoration. But sometimes somebody puts a lot of effort on creating things for other people to enjoy. It can be a youtube video, a tutorial, a technical opinion. Or curl[^1]. Feedback provided on such an effort often takes…
I disagree with your first sentence. People should be able to post about watching paint dry, or whatever else they want to mention. Strangers disagreeing with your choice of wall paint shouldn't turn into real-world anxiety/stress.
It's effectively impossible to post anything or do anything online (or even IRL) where someone won't disagree with you; there will always be someone (that's me toward you in this case), and that's fine.
What's not fine is the escalation from "I disagree, here's why" to "I disagree, and I'm going to make you miserable". Add to that death threats and you've got a cocktail for being unhappy. Add to that people doxxing you and harassing your real life for their perceived justices, and it makes you very unhappy.
Self-induced outrage seems to be a popular thing now. Where no real problem exists, create one, and manufacture outrage. Find next topic, repeat.
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#34Any medium where you invite commentary from strangers on the internet is going to be full of ignorant commentary. If this is something that stresses you out, probably best to disable comments from anyone you do not follow. Simple as that. I do not think this is a problem with the tool. I do think over-exposure to internet commentary is toxic. Like alcohol, it is a poison that is only fun if you are capable of moderat…
> disable comments from anyone you do not follow A good chunk of what I publish online doesn't have a comment section at all, but the moment someone posts a link to HN (or reddit, or...), suddenly it does.
You don't have to read it?
If you hate reading comments AND you can't stop yourself from reading them, go see a therapist.
I don't mean this blithely, it's a sign of unaddressed emotional issues, it's a fixable thing and nothing to be ashamed of. It's not "who you are", it's just "a bad behavioral habit".
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#35Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think it might be good for you to reflect on what this "reply guy" thing actually means, and why it is (IMO) a good idea to use it to judge your comments before replying to someone, if you care in any way about empathic online discourse. For example, the artist: their livelihood is directly threatened by AI, if not now then probably in the near future, and they are responding by posting about their fear. It's trans…
Well, I don't disagree it's good to see the other guy's point of view. But the author and whoever deals with their complaints are not interested in any other point of view - literally, there was no reason given on the ban and when I challenged it, no response. > Make your own post proving how right you are It's really not like that, my wife is involved in the creative arts too, this has been discussed and considered…
They are not looking for points of view, they are looking for support.
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#36Any medium where you invite commentary from strangers on the internet is going to be full of ignorant commentary. If this is something that stresses you out, probably best to disable comments from anyone you do not follow. Simple as that. I do not think this is a problem with the tool. I do think over-exposure to internet commentary is toxic. Like alcohol, it is a poison that is only fun if you are capable of moderat…
Fully agree. This person states how they have joined and left many social media networks over the last 30 years. They often quote the same reasons for leaving them (comment toxicity, it not being 'fun' anymore, etc). However they dont seem to have identifdied the common factor here, they they themselves dont like anonymous negative comments about their posts and content. As you have pointed out, there are tools and w…
Yeah it's an emotional skill to develop.
But the person first needs to realize they are the pattern.
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#37Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think it might be good for you to reflect on what this "reply guy" thing actually means, and why it is (IMO) a good idea to use it to judge your comments before replying to someone, if you care in any way about empathic online discourse. For example, the artist: their livelihood is directly threatened by AI, if not now then probably in the near future, and they are responding by posting about their fear. It's trans…
What you're describing is an echo chamber. If that's something you want there are better ways to get it than a public, general purpose venue like Mastodon. To flip the script a little, would this "Reply Guy" standard also apply when someone with family in Israel posts support for the Israeli government's actions and gets a bunch of replies about how Israel is committing a genocide? I kind of suspect that "Reply Guy"…
Support the fearful artist, or leave them alone.
Speak up against the person who you see as advocating for genocide.
I don't think we need to over complicate this. Just do your best, you'll get it wrong sometimes but that's OK. It's a guideline for positive online discourse, not a law.
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#38> I toot about Matrix, and I’ve got reply-guys berating me for not using XMPP instead. Huh, those are extremely contrarian reply-guys; if anything I would expect the opposite.
There's some very passionate XMPP supporters on every HN discussion on Matrix, have you not seen them before?
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#39What's interesting here is that many of 'us' and the current mainstream say that Internet toxicity is due to The Algorithm, the methods of Facebook/twitter that maximise engagement leading to constant negativity and toxicity. Mastodon's big selling point during the big move away from Twitter/X was the absence of The Algorithm, it was supposed to be a friendly, geeky thing, free from monetised outrage. But I've seen i…
The Algorithm(TM) tends to make it worse, in that it greatly increases the risk that weird cranks will see your posts, but "the internet is full of arseholes, some of whom will probably reply-guy you" is a problem as old as Usenet.
Personally, I've generally had far more positive interaction on Mastodon than I used to on Twitter, but I've got about 300 followers. I think the author of the article had many thousands, and at that level you're going to be exposed to weird cranks at a much greater rate; the advantage of not having The Algorithm(TM) is likely diminished.
Re: I'm closing up shop on my Mastodon for the foreseeable future
#40Any medium where you invite commentary from strangers on the internet is going to be full of ignorant commentary. If this is something that stresses you out, probably best to disable comments from anyone you do not follow. Simple as that. I do not think this is a problem with the tool. I do think over-exposure to internet commentary is toxic. Like alcohol, it is a poison that is only fun if you are capable of moderat…
> Any medium where you invite commentary from strangers on the internet is going to be full of ignorant commentary. [...] I do not think this is a problem with the tool. You think the design of this medium inherently attracts death threats (which the author mentions, and I assume you've generalised into 'ignorant comments') - but it's not a problem with the medium? To me it sounds like a medium that's giving undue we…
"Death threats" are so overplayed I don't take anyone claiming to get them seriously anymore.
It's often a lie and when it isn't it's a comment clearly written by a 12 year old with a Rick and Morty avatar.