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Funeral Food

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Re: Funeral Food

#21

Post by DavidPeiffer »

ihaveajob wrote: post #13
ggambetta wrote: post #7

This is fascinating. I was born and raised in Uruguay and I don't think food was ever a thing in funerals. You just hang out in a room and are generally sad, but food is nowhere to be seen. I've only seen food in funerals in the movies! I wonder whether this is by country, by religion (and variant of that religion), or what.

I live in the US but my family is in/from Spain. When my mom was visiting, we had to attend a funeral (for my wife's grandpa), and after the ceremony everyone went to a local restaurant and had a small feast. My mom was appalled, because she thought it was disrespectful. But I think it's a sweet thing to do, remembering the deceased in a pleasant setting. Especially if the death was of old age. I hope when I go, my f…

Awhile back someone mentioned they had all the important people in their lives together for the wedding, and most likely the next time it'd happen was their funeral.

It made me think about community and priorities. Obviously not everyone needs to get together from all the distinct friend groups, but more gatherings of people who are important to you sounds like something I need to generally strive for.

Re: Funeral Food

#22

Post by tingletech »

My Dad died in the south, and I had to write his obituary and publish it in the local paper. The paper wanted me to publish the address of where I was staying so that people would know where to bring food, but I left that bit out. I did not turn down the pastor's offer to ask the "church ladies" to bring food for the little gathering we had in the church basement after the graveside service -- that was some good food.

Re: Funeral Food

#23

Post by assimpleaspossi »

Growing up in St Louis, it was traditional for neighbors to bring food to your house when there was a death in the family. I thought that tradition faded away until a few years ago when my wife had a relative pass and a neighbor brought us a dish.

Re: Funeral Food

#24

Post by Spooky23 »

ggambetta wrote: post #7

This is fascinating. I was born and raised in Uruguay and I don't think food was ever a thing in funerals. You just hang out in a room and are generally sad, but food is nowhere to be seen. I've only seen food in funerals in the movies! I wonder whether this is by country, by religion (and variant of that religion), or what.

Where I live (New York) it was until recently illegal to have food in a funeral home. There are alot of weird rules around death and funerals, as I think we're all a little weird about how we approach these matters.

Re: Funeral Food

#25

Post by ohmyiv »

UncleOxidant wrote: post #20
eddd-ddde wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does it? I kind of feel that way too, no rephrasing needed.

Will they be celebrating because you've died or celebrating the life you lived ? (the phrasing above sounds like the former) I want to live my life in such a way that people aren't happy (and/or relieved) when I die. I know some people whose passing will cause relief among the living - probably we all know people like that.

You can obtain the proper context from GP's whole comment. They were talking about celebrating someone's life after they passed so it's natural, contextually, to assume celebration of life.

Re: Funeral Food

#26

Post by randohostage »

tingletech wrote: post #22

My Dad died in the south, and I had to write his obituary and publish it in the local paper. The paper wanted me to publish the address of where I was staying so that people would know where to bring food, but I left that bit out. I did not turn down the pastor's offer to ask the "church ladies" to bring food for the little gathering we had in the church basement after the graveside service -- that was some good food…

If you don't mind me asking how do you cope with a loss like that? Especially if there was violence involved?

Re: Funeral Food

#27

Post by ssl-3 »

UncleOxidant wrote: post #20
eddd-ddde wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does it? I kind of feel that way too, no rephrasing needed.

Will they be celebrating because you've died or celebrating the life you lived ? (the phrasing above sounds like the former) I want to live my life in such a way that people aren't happy (and/or relieved) when I die. I know some people whose passing will cause relief among the living - probably we all know people like that.

Context is important.

> to celebrate the person that passed

It is clearly written that such celebrations are for the person who has passed.

It isn't even implicit: It's literally spelled out, in very plain English, what the purpose of these celebration are.

> I hope people get together and celebrate when I die.

Here, it is clearly written that the author hopes that people will perform such a celebration for him when he does eventually die.

Not because he is dead, but because he has lived. That's what celebrating a person means.

Re: Funeral Food

#28

Post by smeej »

bloomingeek wrote: post #10
ggambetta wrote: post #7

This is fascinating. I was born and raised in Uruguay and I don't think food was ever a thing in funerals. You just hang out in a room and are generally sad, but food is nowhere to be seen. I've only seen food in funerals in the movies! I wonder whether this is by country, by religion (and variant of that religion), or what.

Where I live, Oklahoma, after the church funeral service, everyone eventually ends up in the "fellowship hall", which is a large room with a kitchen and a lot of tables. If the deceased attended the church, a church committee would bring in food to feed the family and all who went to the service. Family relatives would also bring food. (This is where the most interesting dishes came from, usually family favorites.) U…

This is exactly what my sister's Oklahoma church did for us and the whole community when she passed away! It was a lovely gesture, especially to see how many people loved her. My mom makes famous chocolate chip cookies, and they even asked for the recipe so they could do their best to make the cookies knowing my mom wouldn't have the bandwidth to do it.

Re: Funeral Food

#29

Post by giraffe_lady »

pvg wrote: post #6

The article doesn't mention specifics (even the link to 'other cultures' is fairly thin gruel) but it made me think of a common in a number Eastern Orthodox traditions: boiled and typically sweetened wheat: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koliva

Though obviously related this seems slightly different than what the article is mostly about. They're talking about food that's made as part of a system of care & support for the bereaved. Where koliva much more ritualized: it's blessed as part of the funeral and eaten by everyone present.

It's also IIRC a pre-christian greek tradition so it's super interesting and cool how it came to be so widespread.

But again not unrelated traditions but having had exposure to both southern US and eastern orthodox cultures they feel very different in meaning.

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