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Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

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Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#241

Post by [deleted] »

taco-hands wrote: post #57
ttiurani wrote: post #16

> All around us are these lives — heads down and arms open — that ignore the siren call of flashy American individualism, of bright lights and center stage. I’m fine right here is the response from the edge of the room, and that contentment is downright subversive. How could you want only that? the world demands. There’s more to have, always more. Beautiful writing, and I feel this part especially elevates it. Going…

This made me think of Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem "What is success": To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To give of one's self; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social…

[deleted]

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#242

Post by jwoq9118 »

davideous wrote: post #239
jwoq9118 wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am giddy seeing a link to Desiring God on HN. John Piper, good stuff.

HN and Desiring God are my two favorite websites.

Recently introduced a friend to Desiring God. Changed their whole perspective on Christianity. Took things back to basics for them, here’s what Jesus actually said, here’s what the Bible actually teaches, no sensationalism, let’s calm down and dive deep.

Here are some favorites of mine, bookmarked and ready to reread whenever I feel the urge.

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/how-to-be-spiritually-mi...

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-is-humility

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-one-must-read-this-y...

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#243

Post by VelesDude »

bigstrat2003 wrote: post #22
ttiurani wrote: post #16

> All around us are these lives — heads down and arms open — that ignore the siren call of flashy American individualism, of bright lights and center stage. I’m fine right here is the response from the edge of the room, and that contentment is downright subversive. How could you want only that? the world demands. There’s more to have, always more. Beautiful writing, and I feel this part especially elevates it. Going…

That part caught my attention as well. There's a danger in the seductive whisper of "you need more". Whether it's material goods, power, fame, or whatever else, pursuing external things like these is a hole which can never be filled. It seems to me that true happiness is to be found inward. If you can learn to find happiness where you are right now, then you can have a good life regardless of your external circumstan…

That is a key lesson of many religions like Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism etc that the state of contentment comes from within. They have been telling everyone this for decades with mixed results.

Suffering is what happens when expectations do not match with reality. You can still have pain but suffering is that gap.

You hear folks that say "it is the journey that matters" but that implys a destination. I think it is all just one big ’happening'.

If life is a race it is a 100n stroll. And yet many people have convinced themselves that it is a marathon and that everyone else needs to be doing that race otherwise they would be the fool. The joke being that there is no other finish line and that many will go to the grave thinking they havent run the race enough.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#244

Post by Kubrick2001 »

hesviiggvv wrote: post #132
vundercind wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Staring at screens all day is weirdly taxing. My wife used to have a much harder job than mine. Social, active, moving around, thinking on her feet, lots of prep, high stakes sometimes, somewhat abusive environment. She left it for WFH and a non-programming computer-heavy office job. After a couple weeks, one day she said to me, “ Now I understand why you’re so worn-out after work hours” I’ve felt a lot more refreshe…

Computer work is so far outside the realm of what we as humans have been doing as “work” since the dawn of time. I wonder how significant that is? Could we be evolutionarily or culturally ill-suited to working this way?

Yes

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#246

Post by jzb »

all2 wrote: post #157
flakeoil wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe the world would have been a better and friendlier place if the two people you mentioned, and others like them, had an attitude a bit more muted and humble.

If their attitude had been either, they would not have become what they have become. Humble men do not, by and large, take the throne or become captains of industry.

This suggests what they’ve become is desirable - it’s not.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#247

Post by rabuse »

Aeolun wrote: post #67

I feel like this is the truth for the vast majority of people? Nobody I know is out to do more than live their lives as best they can, and then pass away quietly and contendedly. In between there’s a ton of challenges. Many more than I’d ever have expected growing up or only looking at Facebook, but everyone makes it work.

Step foot into Miami or LA and you'll see the gaudy extremes of wealth accumulation. I live in Fort Lauderdale for a long time, and it blew me away how miserable a vast majority of the wealthy truly were. Meeting a lot of them in my younger 20's, believing they must be "living the dream", only to later find out it was a facade most of the time, completely changed my mind on "getting rich". Living modestly with no attachment to material things is the way to be.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#248

Post by pictureofabear »

pmorici wrote: post #245

Nicely written. I’m a bit confused about the part that seems to conflate individualism with fame or notoriety.

He said, "flashy American individualism," so he was talking about a specific brand of individualism that covets fame and notoriety, not individualism in its broader meaning.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#249

Post by pictureofabear »

jrwiegand wrote: post #160

This is a wonderful piece and I am glad that I came across it. The line that really hit home for me is the description attached to the photos with his girls. I have two young girls now and I take it to heart that right now may be the best time in my life. This sentiment has been something I have heard from many people about their children at this young age. This is just more confirmation to slow down pay attention.

That hit me the hardest as well. For me there is no greater purpose in life but to connect with others. It's especially meaningful when it's your own children.

Re: Obituary for a quiet life (2023)

#250

Post by jasondigitized »

eggdaft wrote: post #86
zorrolovsky wrote: post #23

Beautiful writing. It comes at an interesting time for me. I'm in a full blown mid-life crisis where my state of mind fluctuates between full contentment and wishing I was doing more with life. This article made me think. On the one hand, I'm content because I come from an unprivileged background. My family was abusive. Me and my brothers struggled with mental health. We ran away from home as soon as we could. Where…

I’ve achieved everything I set out to in life, at least everything I have control over and set out to do when I was in my 20s. I’ve added a new ambition after some thought, not sure if I’ll manage to squeeze it in. But I see the second half of my life now as predominantly about “service”. I think it’s important for everyone to have a life, to do the things they love, to follow some ambition or passion and take care o…

Learn, then earn, then return.
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